Who Moved My Cheese?

Why is it so difficult to deal with change and uncertainty? What’s up with the world and wanting to move our cheese? Wait, why is there an emphasis on cheese here?

Today’s post is another book summary! A lot of you may already be familiar with it: ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Dr. Spencer Johnson. It’s a tale about 4 mice in a maze who have different approaches to the inevitable changes that they experience. I won’t dive too much into the story itself, but rather the nuggets of wisdom that I gained from it.

We experience change on a continuous basis. Most recently, the era of Covid-19 has disrupted the way we do everything. From social distancing, to wearing masks, constantly spraying our hands with vinegar smelling sanitizers, having curfews and working from home.

It certainly has been a struggle for almost everyone. But it is less of a struggle for people who manage to adapt rapidly and expect change. Let’s talk about the nature of change, its consistency in life, how we can learn to expect change and embracing a growth mindset (yet again).

The nature of change

What exactly is the nature of change? This is such an interesting way of thinking about things. It’s essentially what evolution is all about; the ability to adapt to unexpected circumstances. As human beings, we love predictability (I suppose all living things do). When we experience situations that disrupt those predictions, we feel uneasy. Yet the essence of life is continuous change.

In the story, the 4 mice experience a radical shift in their living situation. They no longer find cheese in the same little station within the maze. Two of the mice decide to move on and search in new places to potentially find cheese. The other two get stuck in their old ways and start complaining. They become furious and agitated because their cheese is no longer there. They feel like they deserved and earned it. It’s unfair that this is happening to them.

The cheese can mean different things to each of us, but it essentially represents something in our lives that we hold onto. Something that we deserve. Something that we’ve earned. Something that should permanently stay ours. Something that makes us happy. This could be a job, a relationship, freedom, recognition or even an activity.

The problem with that mindset is that it makes us clingy. We stop seeing the world for what it truly is. We become egotistical in a sense. It causes us stress, it drains our energy, and it makes us unpleasant to be around. So what can we do instead?

Expecting change

We should be more like the mice who decided to move on and look for new cheese, immediately after the calamity struck. What’s interesting thing about expecting change is that we basically have to ‘expect the unexpected’. You never know when something could show up and re-direct the course of our life. It just happens. We don’t necessarily get a choice in that specific event, but we always get to choose how we respond to it.

When it comes to anticipating change, the key is to stop holding onto things. We need to learn acceptance. I’ve spoken about that several times before, but it’s always so relevant. Acceptance is what enables us to become more adaptive.

Another way to expect change is by actually imagining the worst-case scenario. This kind of exercise isn’t always easy, but it allows to consciously think of how we would overcome terrible scenarios. It’s actually quite a common practice in stoicism. Again, the point here is to embrace the unknown. Start leaving your comfort zone more often. You’ll be surprised at how resilient you are.

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Growth mindset

The last point I want to make about change is that being adaptive is fueled by having a growth mindset. Everything that I mentioned before is primarily driven by our mindset and approach towards things. If we believe that our experiences will help us develop new skills, make us stronger and allow us to grow, change becomes a necessity.

Constantly think of the impact your struggles have on the neural connections in your mind. Being adaptive can actually become physically ingrained into who you are. The next time you face an unexpected change, embrace it. Accept it. Think about it this way:

“What have you come to teach me?”

You’ll realize soon enough that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, to become who you’re destined to be. It’s okay that you find it tough. It’s okay that you enjoy planning for things. It’s okay if you’re comfortable in your routines. Just anticipate that it won’t always be that way. You’re better off when you stretch yourself past the discomfort. You got this.

“Be like water, my friend”

Eternal Youth

Do you feel like you’re getting old, like really quickly? Do you miss those carefree days, where you had a lot less to worry about? Perhaps you wish you were a few years younger, maybe a few decades younger. The saudade of childhood and adolescence.

It was my birthday last week, which is always a strange feeling. I received a number of messages from people who seemed rather envious of my youth (those who were younger than me displayed the opposite feeling, obviously). It got me wondering…

What’s up with everyone and wanting to feel young?

A reminder of what youth is all about

I don’t necessarily consider myself all that young anymore, but I suppose I’m not that far off my teenage years yet. Being a young adult is fantastic, I absolutely love it. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its fair share of trials.

It’s a point in your life where the learning curve is steep. You’re entering a lot of unfamiliar territory. You’re constantly exposed to new experiences and are forced to leave your comfort zone. You’ve got to figure it all out, and quickly. You make a lot of mistakes, all the time.

The advantage of this period is that you’re often only looking after yourself (not necessarily the case for everyone). You are truly responsible for just you.

What I’ve also noticed is that age is a just an arbitrary number. It’s something we latch onto in our minds and allow to drag us down. We should embrace becoming older, it’s a natural part of life. We need the elderly just as much as we need the youth. The present moment is the same for everyone.

The wisdom accompanying old age

If you really think about it, you’re getting older by the second. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 40 or 60. Everyone gets old at the same rate (I can’t say that I’m speaking from experience, lol).

Life experience can only be obtained through the process of living – which requires as to constantly age. Wisdom doesn’t necessarily just come from ageing. It comes from constantly reflecting on the different, difficult and novel experiences. You’ve seen the troubles that life can throw at you from a much closer perspective.

Embrace the fact that you’re experiencing nature at its very best. We are all temporary beings. We’re not meant to be here forever. Utilize the remarkable history that you’ve been through to make the most of what you have. Share the lessons that you’ve learned from the countless mistakes that you’ve made. Serve those around you while you still can. Don’t stop growing.

The present moment is all we have

We are now back to the central theme of my blogs; embracing the present moment. Life always seems to be rushing past us. We have no time for anything. We feel nostalgic over the years that have passed by. We constantly yearn to feel elsewhere. We never seem to be satisfied with where we are.

Here’s a life hack: think about how you are exactly where you’re meant to be. Indulge in the present and find serenity within acceptance.

“Live for today like you’ll die tomorrow. Plan for the future like you’ll live forever.”

I’ve met some people who radiate youthfulness, despite their old age. I’ve also met people who seemed incredibly old, despite how young they were. It got me thinking about something else.

We can all be young at heart. It’s the way we choose to fuel the fire in our bellies. The energy we bring into each and every day. The enthusiasm we sustain in all of our conversations. The risks we decide to take. The choices we don’t regret taking. The vulnerable honesty that allows us to build meaningful connections.

I want you to really embrace the fact that age is not everything. You can choose to be as young or as old as you want to be. Your actions, choices, mindset and enthusiasm speak more than anything. There are obviously some real constraints and complications associated with physically getting older, but it doesn’t have to define you.

You can strive for eternal youth by having a playful heart, despite how old you are getting. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’ll leave you with some brilliant advice by the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH):

On The Shortness Of Life

I’m currently reading a book called ‘On the Shortness of Life’ by Seneca; a Roman stoic philosopher from the stone-age (haha). The principle is straightforward and quite relevant to the blog’s theme; remember that you will die (Memento Mori).

Life is short. As part of nature, we have one inevitable experience in common; to pass on. It’s easy to forget how short-lived and temporary we are. We’re always chasing tomorrow and planning like we’ve got infinite days ahead of us. Let’s really look at how time, wisdom, service and purpose play a role in our understanding of death (and life I suppose).

Time

I keep coming back to the concept of time. It’s seriously abstract and most of us have just ignored that fact. What does experiencing ‘an hour’ even mean? Even things like time zones and losing time whilst travelling (on a plane for example). It really does boggle the mind when you sit and think about it.

What we ultimately need to understand is that time is our most precious resource. We tend to prioritize things like wealth and socializing, over time. We behave as if we drew from an infinite supply. Each of us has a very specific time, location and way in which we’re going to pass on. There’s no escaping that for sure.

Life is kind of like playing 30 seconds. As soon as you’re born, the hourglass is turned over and you have to get as much done before your time is up. Meditate on how often you waste your time over trivial matters and having mundane conversations.

What if you treated everyday as if it were your last? How different would your current trajectory look?

Wisdom

There’s a lot of wisdom to gain from contemplating your own death. I’ve spoken about this before, but it’s a reminder we need all the time. Wisdom to me, is just learning from your own mistakes and making improvements based on that.

We’ve all made several mistakes in our lifetime. We’re going to make a lot more in the near future. The point is to accept that you’re imperfect and temporary. That you’re on a journey to continuous learning. That you’re just a student of life. There’s no such thing as perfection, no matter how hard you strive for it.

Keeping that in mind, I want you to further think about your limiting beliefs and what’s preventing you from being vulnerably honest with those you care about.

Here’s a good question to ask yourself if you’re ever feeling embarrassed or ashamed about a mistake you’ve made:
Is this going to matter in a year? In 5 years? In 10 years?

Service

We’re here to help each other. We’ve come this far as a species because of collaboration. Because of education. Because of the way we’ve looked after each other. The best way to leave your mark on the world is through service.

This can come in any form that seems fit to you. It can be through serving your parents, assisting with charity events, teaching and sharing your knowledge, looking after the elderly, visiting the sick or just being kind to strangers that you meet. There’s no limit or set way of contributing.

Do what makes you feel good whilst assisting others in any way possible. You’ll notice what a tremendous effect that will have on your sense of purpose.

Purpose

Have you ever sat down to consider the legacy you’d like to leave behind? The impact you want to make on the world? We’re not here by chance or coincidence. Everything is purposeful, it’s all Divine Wisdom.

Service and purpose go hand-in-hand. They both feed into each other. The more you contribute, the more you feel alive, the more you develop your sense of purpose. It’s not necessarily a ‘quest’. You don’t have to search for purpose. You just live it by doing the best that you can, in everything you experience.

To try and make sense of these concepts, I’ve got an interesting way to think about it.

Imagine yourself on your death bed. You’re old, you’re weak and you’re very much dependent on others. What was your biggest regret? What was something you’ve always wanted to pursue? What was the biggest waste of your time? What drained your energy? What made you energized?

Who would you spend more time on? Who would you spend less time with? What would you appreciate and cherish more if you could? What would you do differently?

Honestly, we’re not that far off from being on our death beds. We take nothing with us when go down to our grave. Keep that in mind and reflect on these important questions. Make the most of the time that you have left. Always remember, now is all you have.

Find Reasons To Say Thank You

Today’s post is going to be a gentle reminder to be grateful. To focus on all your blessings. To give more. To find reasons to say thank you.

I’ll speak about some mindfulness, focusing on what you have, giving more and why we should stop complaining.

Mindfulness

How do we always end up back here? It’s quite incredible really, mindfulness plays an integral role in every aspect of your life. When you’re focusing on the smell of your coffee in the morning, you’re appreciating it more. When you stare out at the sky and enjoy the way the clouds slither, you appreciate it more.

When you live consciously, you’re in the present moment. When you’re in the present, you appreciate life more. When you’re able to appreciate life, you can find reasons to say thank you.

Focus on what you have

Energy follows focus. Think deeply about that. The quality of your thoughts and what you pay attention to, ultimately guide your objectives. When you focus on what you have and all that you’re blessed with, you live in a state of contentment.

Being content is a mindset more than anything. It’s accepting the present moment for what it truly is, instead of wishing to be somewhere else.

The more you give, the more you get

I’ve mentioned this philosophy before. It’s quite an evident aspect of life. When you’re a giver, you receive more in return. I learned this from my parents at a very young age, which I’m very grateful for.

Giving is the ultimate form of being thankful. Whether it’s your time, energy or money. It’s ultimately about service, sacrificing a piece of who you are to uplift those around you.

It’s an integral part of Islam too. It reminds me of this famous quote from the Quran:

Alhamdulillah

The opposite of complaining

When you complain, you’re essentially devaluing what you’ve been blessed with. There’s a big difference between criticism and complaining. One is a form of feedback to make improvements, the other just attracts negative energy.

It’s definitely difficult and requires a lot of conscious effort. It’s something I struggle with quite a lot. Complaining at every inconvenience is a form of ingratitude and it’s important for us to try and avoid it as much as possible.

The point I’m trying to make here is that there’s always a reason to say thank you. When you look at your body and the marvelous ways it functions, when you notice the roof above your head, the food on your table, the loving people in your life.

It’s noticing these little things each and every single day that makes life truly worth it. It’s not easy, it was never meant to be. It’s part of the journey. But let’s make this journey one hell of a joy ride.

My request to you now, is to get a piece of paper (or open the notepad on your phone) and write down 3 things you’re grateful for. Do this on a regular basis and notice how your life will change.

12 Rules For Life

An Antidote to Chaos.

I haven’t written a book summary in quite sometime. I’m excited to share the incredible wisdom and life lessons that I’ve gained from Jordan Peterson.

Today’s post will be a summary of the book ’12 Rules For Life’. I’ll try not to make this too long, but it was just such an exciting read that I have a lot to share. Each of these rules dive into a lot more topics than I cover here, so I’d recommend you give the book a read yourself if you find this interesting.

Here’s a summary of those 12 rules:

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Rule 1: Stand up straight with your shoulders back

The core lesson from this rule is to understand that life is dangerous. Chaos is always around the corner. We have a choice each and everyday in how we respond to the emerging chaos. It’s about building the habits that are required to make progress on a constant basis.

“It is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open.”

Pay attention to your posture, quit hunching and acting defeated. Don’t beat around the bush. Speak your mind and put your desires forward. Dare to be dangerous. Accept the burden of existence with courage and use it to find joy and meaning in your life.

Rule 2: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping

This is something that I often find myself thinking about. Why do we not treat ourselves as well as we treat other people we care about? Some of us even treat our pets better than we do for ourselves.

You deserve respect. You are important to other people just as much as you are to yourself. Keep the promises you make to yourself. Determine where you are going. Discipline yourself carefully. Don’t underestimate the power of vision and direction. Consider what is truly good for you. Not just what you want or what would make you happy.

The main concept here is that your Being is intrinsically connected to others. If you mistreat yourself, it may have negative consequences for other people. Take care of yourself as if you were a child.

Rule 3: Make friends with people who want the best for you

This is connected to the previous rule, in the sense that you’d want to surround yourself with people who care for you and help you grow.

There are people we keep in our lives because we want to help them. We want to be heroes and rescuers. But there’s a limit to that. You need to distinguish between people who genuinely want help and those who are exploiting a willing helper.

“If you have a friend you wouldn’t recommend to your sister, father or son, why would you keep such a friend for yourself?”

Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today

When we have standards, we’re undoubtedly going to experience failure. That’s the consequence of striving above mediocrity. It’s important to value and appreciate what you currently have in your life and the progress you’ve made thus far.

The point here is that you should see yourself as a stranger. Get to know yourself better. You need to pinpoint your mistakes and failures, because you can’t fix something unless you know it’s broken. Be very cautious when you compare yourself to others. We’re all at a different stage in our personal development.

Pay attention. Focus on your environment. Notice the things that bother you and figure out how to fix them. Ask yourself whether you even want to fix them. Ask yourself how your life will be improved if they end up being fixed.

“What could I do, that I would do, to make Life a little better?”

Rule 5: Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them

The lesson here is about disciplining your children or people under you care to become better members of society. To allow them to experience failure, to learn from it, to gain independence from it. To say ‘No’ when it needs to be said and stick to it.

Limit the rules and then figure out how to deal with a situation where it’s broken. Use the least necessary force to enforce those rules. Never let things degenerate to the point where hatred is formed. Parents should understand their own capacity and limits just as well.

“Parents are the arbiters of society. It is an act of responsibility to discipline a child.”

Rule 6: Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world

We’re all incredibly flawed, this should come as no surprise by now. The point is to clean up our lives as best as we can. Ask yourself a few important questions before criticizing others:

• Do things fall apart because we have not paid sufficient attention?
• Have you taken full advantage of the opportunities offered to you?
• Are you truly shouldering your responsibilities?

Stop doing what you know to be wrong. That’s something that will profoundly change the quality of your life. Say and do things that will make you strong and honourable.

Rule 7: Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)

A central theme in the book is sacrifice and delaying gratification. This is extremely important, because sacrifice and work are pretty much the same thing. We’re giving up something valuable in the present for something even more valuable in the future.

Expedience is avoiding responsibility, hiding from your problems and lying to yourself about what’s not working out for you. It transfers the curse on your head to someone else or to your future self. Expedience is impulsive and limited.

Meaning is the balance between order and chaos. When you’re at the right place, at the right time and where everything lines up as best as it can. Meaning is aligning your life with purpose.

“Practice sacrifice and sharing, until you become expert it, and things will go well for you.”

Rule 8: Tell the truth -or, at least don’t lie

What should you do when you don’t know what to do? Tell the truth.

Being truthful is imperative to having good character. If you’re not truthful and honest to yourself, how can you do the same for others? Being truthful includes avoiding willful blindness; that is when you refuse to know something that could be known.

If your life isn’t as good as it should be, try being truthful. Stop deceiving yourself.

“A man’s worth can be determined by how much truth he can tolerate.”

Rule 9: Assume the person you are listening to might know something you don’t

Listening is a form of paying attention. It’s not thinking or doing, it’s being present to the information you’re receiving. Don’t judge or formulate a response, just pay attention. Restate the ideas and feeling of the person you’re listening to as accurately as you can, before speaking.

The point is that you can always learn by listening to other people. What you know will never be enough.

Thinking is a form of listening to yourself. That’s why true thinking is so rare, because it’s difficult and most of us don’t have the patience for it. You have to try and be two people at the same time.

“You can be pretty smart if you can just shut up.”

Rule 10: Be precise in your speech

Having arguments are necessary to solve problems, which requires us to confront our chaos. Linking this back to the concept of ‘willful blindness’; we need to realize that not thinking or speaking about something doesn’t make it go away.

Specifying the problem will enable us to find a solution. This can only be done when we admit that the problem exists in the first place. You need to determine where you’re going in your life, because you won’t get there unless you move in that direction.

Note your errors. Articulate them and strive to correct them. Don’t be afraid of conflict or suffering, they’re inevitable and can help you grow. Specify your destination and take sail. Admit to what it is you truly want and let those around you know who you are.

“Everything is intricate beyond imagining. Everything is affected by everything else.”

Rule 11: Do not bother children when they are skateboarding

We often think we’re doing people a favour when we protect them excessively. This is especially true with regards to children. What we need to realize is that we’re all constantly seeking some form of danger. It invigorates us and makes us feel alive. We need to push ourselves past certain limits to grow. We need to push ourselves to even understand what our limits are.

Being overprotective can be hindering to development. We need the freedom and ability to make mistakes, in order for us to learn from them.

“Too much protection devastates the developing soul.”

Rule 12: Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

What I took from this rule is that we need to be mindful to the little blessings in our life. There is so much that we take for granted on a regular basis, that it makes us bitter and resentful.

If we can focus more on our blessings and truly incorporate gratitude, our perspective and experience of life will significantly change. We’re imperfect, we’re going to make mistakes, we’re going to fall, but we’ll learn, we’ll grow and we’ll adapt.

“When you love someone, it’s not despite their limitations, it’s because of their limitations.”

I hope you managed to gain some wisdom from all these rules. They’re definitely applicable to our every day lives, especially because they have to do with our perception.

Keep growing. Keep learning. Keep pushing. You got this.

What Is Learning All About?

Are you someone who is thirsty to learn and improve on a regular basis? What does learning even mean? In what aspects of our lives are we actually ‘learning’? Are some people naturally better at it than others?

Today’s post will be about knowledge, wisdom, intelligence and personal growth. I’d like to dive into the different areas of learning and how we can maintain a holistic growth mindset.

Knowledge

This is a little bit tricky to dive into because it encompasses so much. Knowledge is essentially your level of understanding of any topic or skill. It’s your awareness based on what you’ve learned or been exposed to.

When we gain knowledge, we’re essentially equipping ourselves to better deal with future problems. I’m sure you’ve heard of the saying: “Knowledge is power”. But that’s not true unless you consciously apply that knowledge.

I’d like to divide learning into 3 categories:

• Theoretical
• Practical
• Observational

Each type of learning works more effectively for different people, based on their nature and nurture. Knowledge can be acquired through any of those learning types. We can learn the theory behind complex concepts, apply that theory practically, or observe other people performing the practice.

Understanding what type works best for you will assist you in your journey to becoming a life-long learner. It may even be a combination of all 3.

Wisdom

“Wisdom is nothing more profound than an ability to follow one’s own advice.”

That quote speaks accurately about how to understand what wisdom is all about. My personal understanding of wisdom is learning from mistakes (it can be your mistakes or just observing others) and walking the talk.

How can we learn to be wiser? Simple really, just reflect more often. I spoke thoroughly about that in my previous post. Look back at how far you’ve come. Write down the important lessons you’ve gained. Read more books and write down more quotes.

Another fantastic way to gain wisdom is by speaking to people who are older than you or have more experience than you. Nothing is more efficient than learning life lessons from people who’ve been through similar experiences to you. It’ll also make your conversations more interesting.

Intelligence

Learning about intelligence has profoundly changed my life. The simple idea that we’re not ‘fixed’ means that we have so much potential for growth. There are also several types of intelligence and it’s quite unfair to judge people based on one metric.

This infographic shows the 9 potential types of intelligence:

I won’t go into too much detail here, I just want you to appreciate how incredibly diverse intelligence can be. The schooling system and academics barely make up 11% of what’s out there.

If you feel like you’re not intelligent, maybe you just haven’t explored them all. We’re all incredibly gifted and have so much to offer the world.

Keep a growth mindset and deeply appreciate how malleable we truly are. The more effort and energy we put in, the better we become.

Who you are today is a result of your previous efforts. Who you will become tomorrow, is a result of the effort you put in today.

Personal Growth

There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to personal growth and self-development. I view it as being a fundamental aspect of human growth. By learning about yourself, how you need to improve, what’s working for you and what isn’t, you’ll be better equipped to serve the world around you.

Personal growth is also a commitment to learning in general. It’s integrating your knowledge, wisdom and intelligence, and striving to continuously learn from your mistakes.

The most important relationship you have is with yourself (after God of course). Taking care of yourself can be a means of you contributing to the world.

The key point I want you to take from this post is that we’re all wired differently. There are so many different ways and things for us to learn in life. Don’t compare yourself to other people who have spent more time in a certain category of intelligence. Focus on your objectives as best as you can and lift up other people with you along the way.

Life is a journey of learning. Keep trying your best, especially when it gets tough. You’re so much more capable than you give yourself credit. You got this. I believe in you.