Emotional Availability

You might wonder how I come up with the different topics to write on my blog each week. I essentially look out for trends in my own life, in my social circle, in my family, or just online.

The concept of emotional availability is incredibly fascinating to me, as it essentially determines your capacity to handle other people’s emotions. This is typically seen in a romantic aspect, but can also apply to platonic friendships.

I’d like to think out loud today and talk about a few things that come to mind when I hear about emotional availability. Let’s discuss how our experiences shape who we are, how being aware of our own emotional availability plays a role in our approach to relationships, how the work we put into ourselves cascades into other people and why we should learn about our own love language.

Dalai Lama XIV Quote: “An open heart is an open mind.” (21 ...

Our experiences and who we are

To me, emotional availability is the capacity we have to sustain an emotional connection in a relationship. It’s essentially a combination of our willingness and ability to connect with the emotions of other people. This would essentially require continuous vulnerability and trust with the other person.

Let’s go down the psychotherapy train and talk about childhood. First thing’s first, I think our perceptions of love and what romance is all about typically stems from the early years of our life. It evolves as we watch our parents interact, our family member engage, what we see in movies , and from books that we’ve read. We carry these expectations with us as we enter relationships, which then gives us our own experience and realizations.

Lindsay Wagner Quote: “When we shift our perception, our ...

Moving forward to where we are now, I think our most recent experience of being in some form of romantic or platonic relationship deeply impacts our emotional availability status. A breakup that ended badly, a friend that betrayed us, or even complicated family dynamics, can make it difficult for us to approach people with vulnerability and trust.

These are not necessarily the only factors that affect how emotionally available we are. There are some people who are just in a phase in their life where they’re not prepared for a new relationship. They’re focusing on their academics/career, their families, or they just haven’t done enough work on themselves.

This can lead to us being emotionally ‘unavailable’, where we find it difficult to open ourselves up and let other people into our lives. So how do we move forward with these insights?

Self-awareness and our approach to relationships

I’m sure by now you would’ve noticed that the key input to understanding one’s emotional availability is to have some level of self-awareness. This can be achieved by continuously reflecting on the experiences that have deeply impacted our view on relationships.

The more effort we consciously put into understanding our own biases, assumptions and interpretations, the more likely we are to approach people less defensively. Not every situation is going to be the same. Not every relationship is going to turn out like the one you’ve experienced.

The world is incredibly diverse. The more we’re able to bring our most authentic selves to the table, and the more vulnerable we’re willing to be, the more we’ll be be able to love ourselves and those around us.

Learning our own love language

We each have our own unique love language. It’s precedent in our experiences and upbringing as I’ve already mentioned. The issue with everyone having a different love language is that it can often cause friction when they’re misaligned. If what makes me feel special makes you feel overwhelmed, it’s not necessarily effective to replicate.

The importance of this is that we want to try and learn our own love language so that we can articulate it well enough to others, to avoid being disappointed by our expectations. Like I said, what works for me might not work for you. This links back to the previous section because when we have an understanding of what works for us, we can then realize that we’d need to curate our approach of love to different people.

Hint: I’d love all of the above pls

When you try to make other people feel special or loved, don’t necessarily look at what you’d want for yourself. Look at how they typically approach the same thing and what has generally made them feel excited or appreciated.

I hope you’ve taken away some insights from the thoughts that I’ve shared today. Being aware of your own emotional availability will make it easier to set boundaries in future relationships. It will allow you to learn more about yourself and other people. When you think about it from a love language perspective, you’ll realize that everyone has their own set of conditions. All the best with the journey ahead! You got this.

Toxic Positivity

‘Don’t worry!’

‘Just stay positive…’

‘Everything will work out.’

‘Imagine how much worse things could be?’

I’ve recently come across a very interesting term called ‘toxic positivity’. This is very similar to the concept of toxic productivity that I’ve discussed before, whereby we push certain mindsets past a healthy threshold.

Today, I’ll speak about what I think toxic positivity is, how positivity can become toxic, why we experience it, emotional intelligence and vulnerability.

I enjoy discussing things that I often find myself guilty of following, because it’s how I grow and learn. The IG post below is where I found out about the concept and is a great place to learn more about it.

What is toxic positivity?

It is essentially portraying yourself as being happy all the time, regardless of what life throws at you. It’s rejecting the negative emotions that come up and living in an illusion that everything is perfectly okay. This meme perfectly sums it up for me:

How can positivity be toxic?

The term toxic refers to something being affected by poison. This is often the case when you’re obsessed to the degree that it no longer serves its original intent.

Positivity in and of itself is wonderful. It’s what keeps people going. It helps you see the best in situations. But don’t confuse positivity with optimism and don’t let positivity hinder your ability to feel negative emotions.

Our ability to feel a wide range of emotions is what inherently makes us human beings. Take a look at the diagram below. Can you imagine denying yourself more than 2/3 of that range? It’s all there for a reason, we’re meant to feel things.

When your sole focus becomes trying to always be ‘happy’, you’re falling into the toxic trap.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ea/9d/46/ea9d468243a408df546ed2946e8bc86e.jpg

Why do we do it?

Because feeling sad sucks. It’s that simple really. We don’t enjoy the feelings of frustration, anger, disappointment, embarrassment or fear etc. However, that doesn’t mean that we should try and escape from experiencing them.

Always being cheerful is something embedded deep into our psyche from a very young age. Whereas being upset or frustrated is something frowned upon / ‘annoying’. This is why I believe that emotional intelligence is so important, because it allows us to understand that there’s a plethora of emotions that we need to understand and appreciate.

Just to be clear here, I’m in no way trying to tell you not to feel ecstatic, hopeful or optimistic. I’m merely trying to get you to understand how complicated we are as beings. Allow your self to experience the full range of emotions more regularly and accept them.

https://www.facebook.com/YFSWellness/photos/pcb.2755390471246386/2755390157913084/?type=3&theater

Self-awareness and acceptance

Self-awareness is arguably the most important skill to learn for emotional intelligence. This should definitely be followed by acceptance. When we’re able to identify and become aware of specific emotions, it enables us to accept them.

This process is extremely liberating because it teaches us not to hold onto or force away any feelings. When we’re able to be deeply present with ourselves, we are no longer slaves to our impulses.

“Better awareness >> Better choices >> Better results”

Vulnerability and empathy

Learning how to be appropriately vulnerable will catalyze meaningful connections in your life. You’ll not only amplify your ability to be kind to yourself, but you’ll be able to do the same for others.

This involves being open and honest about how you feel. Talking about what’s bothering you or what’s not going well for you. It’s about being realistic and showing that. Being empathetic will also play an important role in vulnerability, because you would need to relate to how other people are feeling by reflecting on similar experiences.

Toxic positivity encourages the suppression of emotions and faking the fact that things are okay. Being vulnerable encourages you to accept it and then allow it to pass.


It’s okay to not be okay.

Next time you do feel a storm whirring up inside of you, take a deep breath. Allow yourself to sit through the motion and gain an understanding of how your body reacts.

Things will be really shitty at times, but things will also be really great at times and that’s part of the journey. Understand that failure is part of growth and that it’s okay to want to give up. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Just keep trying your best to learn.

Life Learners

Are you someone who’s intrigued by the wonders of the world? Do you enjoy having thought-provoking questions that inspire you? Where do you go to have uncomfortable conversations? We are all students of life and there’s no limit to how much we’re able to learn. Let’s find out a little more about what this initiative entails.

I’ll use the format shown below, so you can truly understand the philosophy and vision behind 20 Life Learners. I hope that you are keen to grow and join us on this journey.

By Simon Sinek

Why

I love starting with Why, because intentions truly are the driving force behind behaviours. So, let’s unravel the first layer of The Golden Circle. This group was initiated by Carmen De Beer to create a space for her friends to share their knowledge and wisdom.

The purpose of Life Learners is to ensure that each of us are constantly gaining knowledge. To serve the world around us with ideas and passion. Mark Twain put it beautifully:

“Don’t let school get in the way of your education.”

We seek to inspire and educate people on a wide range of topics so they can be better “humans of life”. Humans that are more understanding, accepting and up-to-date with the ever expanding consciousness in the world.

Our goal is for ordinary people to share their stories about things that matter but are often not taught in lecture rooms and schools.

How

By having the conversations that matter. By sharing our stories and experiences. By making the uncomfortable conversations comfortable.

We have meetings every Thursday where a certain member of the group presents a topic of their choice. These are often done in a PechaKucha style, where 20 images are spoken about for 20 seconds each. This allows us to share our ideas in 400 seconds of bite-size information.

The conversations are recorded and uploaded to both YouTube and Instagram. The post-presentation discussion is often where the most benefit is derived from. As we each contribute to what we’ve learned and ask intriguing questions.

What

20 Life Learners is a platform where ideas and knowledge can be shared by anyone. With the world becoming more reliant on people being aware of a greater range of topics, this is a space to learn about everything and anything. Where are people suppose to learn and discuss things that their circles don’t discuss? Here.

The topics that we will be discussing range from all aspects of our existence, this includes (but is certainly not limited to):

  • Mindfulness
  • Transformation
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Race
  • Machine learning
  • Self-improvement
  • Education
  • Gender

The aim is to have enlightening conversations that you may have not been able to within your own circle of friends. We hope to make taboo uncomfortable topics, comfortable.

Who are we?

We’re an ordinary bunch of South Africans in their twenties with extraordinary ideas. We’ve come together as friends and strangers to share our stories and nuggets of knowledge.

If you’d like to find out more, check out the Instagram page below. We’ll constantly keep it updated with what to expect, the topic of the week and who will be presenting.

Where are we going?

One day we hope to have a website that will ultimately contain many resources for people to learn more about topics discussed and also to submit their own presentations. We hope for this to become like ‘Humans of New York’ meets TED, with regular folks who can be contacted to keep the conversations going.

Please share it far and wide to help as many other people learn. We want to teach you things and learn for ourselves, everything we should’ve learned at school. Thank you for joining us! #ConversationsThatMatter


The Paradox of Choice

How often do you feel like there are too many options to choose from? Couldn’t figure out what to watch on Netflix? Got stuck deciding what outfit to wear? Couldn’t pick a restaurant to go out to with your friends? Struggled to pick a meal once you were at that restaurant?

We’re living in an age where we have more choices for pretty much everything than ever before. We tend to think that our freedom lies in having a variety of choices, but there’s a threshold before those choices become taxing.

I’d like to use this post to discuss a very interesting phenomenon; the paradox of choice. This post will serve as a summary for the book written by Barry Shwartz, but I’ll talk about other relevant ideas too.

I’ll also talk about a concept called decision fatigue, how unlimited choices affect us psychologically, the contribution of capitalism and how to move forward.

Why more is less

As previously mentioned, it seems like having too many options is paralyzing us, instead of liberating us. We don’t realize how when comparing so many choices, it often leaves us with a sense of regret.

I should’ve ordered the usual. We should’ve chosen the first hotel. We should’ve watched the other movie. I should’ve joined the other course.

“Instead of increasing our sense of well-being, an abundance of choice is increasing our levels of anxiety, depression, and wasted time. “

onegreenplanet.org

According to Barry Shwartz, good decisions usually involve 6 key aspects. As you’ll notice, the more options that are available to us, the more effort will be required to make a sound decision. Here are the 6 steps:

  1. Identify your goal or goals
  2. Evaluate their importance
  3. Array the options to achieve them
  4. Evaluate how likely each option is to meet your goals
  5. Pick the best options
  6. Modify your goals based on the outcome

You can see from the list above, if firstly, you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re trying to achieve, you’re going to have trouble making a decision. Understanding how important your goal is to you also plays an important role, because it allows you to sort through the options more effectively.

“Nobody makes plans because something better might turn up, and the result is that nobody every does anything.”

Let’s see how trying to sift through several options affects our ability to further make decisions.

Decision fatigue

You have a certain capacity for the amount of good decisions you can make in a single day. Essentially, your willpower diminishes and the quality of your decisions decrease based on the number of decisions that you make.

The graph below shows what I mean by that. It clearly illustrates that the quality of your decisions are higher, when you make less decisions. Why is understanding this useful? Because it allows us to focus on making our decisions earlier and on what matters.

bluejeanwellness.com

Let’s think about the first hour of your typical day and how many decisions you make before leaving the house. Okay in this case we’re not leaving the house anymore, but until you start being ‘productive’ at home.

You’d usually start on auto-pilot; snoozing, then brushing your teeth, making the bed, stretching a little, maybe even scrolling through your phone (terrible idea btw).

Then comes breakfast. What do I eat? What should I drink? What should I prepare for lunch later? Then you need to get dressed. What should I wear? When should I shower? Should I exercise now or later? Then you have to prepare to do work. Which assignment should I start with? Should I respond to these emails now? Why won’t these people leave me alone?

You get my point. Before we can even start making any important decisions, we’ve already exhausted a handful of our will-power’s supply.

This essentially means that we should make the most important decisions early in the morning. Start planning for your daily activities in advance. Choose your breakfast and your outfit the day before.

Reduce the amount of decisions you need to make per day and you’ll clear up a lot of cognitive space.

The psychology of unlimited choices

When you make a decision that doesn’t turn out well and then find better alternatives, how does usually make you feel?

Regretful.

How does regret play a role in our decision making? There are two main forms of regret, namely: post-decision and anticipation.

When things don’t go well after a decision is made, that’s called post-decision regret. When we anticipate that things aren’t going to go well before even making a decision, it often leaves us feeling anticipatory regret.

Having an enormous amount of choices leads to constantly evaluating “What if”. That is called counterfactual thinking. When we ponder over scenarios that could’ve been. That often leads us to appreciating what we have less and therefore, we derive less satisfaction from our decisions.

Being aware of these psychological consequences is actually a great way for us to overcome the paralysis of over-stimulation. We can identify more clearly our objectives before making a decision, we can learn to accept “good enough” and learn to focus on the few options that meet our standards.

“What looks attractive in prospect, doesn’t always look so good in practice.”

We need to decide when choices really matter and focus our energy there. We tend to believe that the choices we make are a reflection of who we are, so we spend more time than we realize evaluating them.

Capitalism

The root of all evil. I’m kidding haha. I won’t dive too deeply into this, just needed to share some of my thoughts. It seems that the ever increasing number of choices for everything, is rooted in modern consumerism.

Capitalism has bred this kind of thinking in several ways. By making people believe that their sense of value is determined by their net worth. By creating a culture of social comparison, where everyone’s ego is on the line. By creating a ‘satisfaction treadmill’, where we continuously chase the latest products and trends, thinking that we’ll get satisfaction from it.

We might not be able to change the way the system runs on our own, but we can learn to better maneuver through it. We can become aware of how it influences us and our ability to make decisions.

Better awareness -> Better choices -> Better results.

How do we move forward with all this?

Great question. Here some of the points the author mentions that are imperative for us to remain satisfied with our decisions.

  1. Choose when to choose
  2. Be a chooser not a picker
  3. Make your decisions non-reversible
  4. Focus on your blessings and be grateful
  5. Regret less through acceptance
  6. Anticipate adaptation
  7. Control expectations
  8. Curtail social comparison
  9. Learn to embrace constraints

We need to realize that we often try to make decisions based on the objective experience it will provide. However, what’s actually important to us, is often the subjective experience. How we feel about it.

Being a chooser entails understanding what is important to you and how that aligns with your values. Being a picker means just ‘going with the flow’ and picking anything. By making your decisions non-reversible, you’d spend less time ruminating over the other choices. Having an “attitude of gratitude” is pivotal to appreciation and also helps with overcoming regret.

We’re hyper-adaptive beings. We need to keep in mind that everything that was once novel, will become ordinary and comfortable after a while. We need to manage our expectations more realistically in order to avoid disappointment.

Curtailing social comparison is essentially not worrying about everyone else. You’re living your own life, based on your circumstances and your life goals. Don’t worry about impressing other people or missing out based on their experiences. Finally, embrace constraints. Manage your options by limiting them whilst maintaining your standards.

“Choice within constrains, freedom within limits, is what allows us to imagine a host of marvelous possibilities.”

It’s okay…

I’d like to reiterate on the topic of toxic productivity that I discussed last week (you can click on the hyper-link to read the article). It’s a strange time for us all, it’s okay to feel the way you feel.

I’ll briefly talk about a few key components of emotional intelligence and how that’s relevant to us today. I’ll focus on why acceptance is key, how to ask the right questions and understanding how temporary this all is.

Acceptance

If you can master the art of acquiescence, you’ll truly find peace with all that happens in your life. Acceptance seems to work like a charm, yet it’s so difficult to attain.

One of the key aspects of self-awareness is learning to accept your emotions after you’ve acknowledged them. Learning to become present with your feelings and thoughts is a life-long process, but we’ve got to start somewhere.

Once you’ve learned how to accept a thought or feeling, it no longer holds any weight over you. It sounds incredibly simple, but it genuinely works. Some of you may have more serious circumstances, so it’s not necessarily an immediate remedy. But the concept itself still holds true. Learn to accept.

It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay if you’re scared. It’s okay if you’re a little upset. It’s okay if you’re uncomfortable. It’s okay if your schedule is a bit messed up. It’s okay if you’re uncertain.

Don’t judge yourself. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t think that this is the end. Our patience and resilience are truly being tested. Notice how your body reacts to those feelings and take in a few deep breaths.

Write it down. Accept it. Let it go.

We need to ask ourselves the right questions and gently work on our state of mind.

Questions

I’d like to offer you a few important questions again. Remember that questions are answers. If you can master the art of asking yourself the right questions, the answers will come finding you. That’s the power of your subconscious.

  • How am I feeling right now?
  • What can I do about this feeling?
  • Why am I finding it difficult to deal with this?
  • Have I always felt this way?
  • Is this temporary or permanent? Will I always feel like this?
  • How have I previously overcome difficult emotions?
  • What am I grateful for right now?

There are so many more important questions to ask, these are but a handful. Think of questions for yourself, aspects that are critical to your well-being.

Your mind works really well when you’re not constantly occupied. If you ask a question before going to bed or before going for a short walk, you’ll be amazed at how the subconscious processing works. Another cool exercise would be to answer these questions in a journal.

“Writing is closer to thinking than speaking.”

Temporary

Another incredibly important component of understanding emotions is that they’re temporary. If you contemplate on that fact, it naturally brings peace to your train of thought.

We too are temporary. We’re not going to be here forever. That is something that really makes me feel humble. Things are going to end soon. I may not know when, but I know it’s inevitable.

Meditate on how short-lived natural beings truly are. Everything is cyclic; change being the only constant. There’s no point swimming against the tide, we just need to focus on where it’s heading.

“Change is inevitable; resistance is futile.”

Everyone is on their own journey. Don’t compare yourself to the rate of other people’s growth. Focus on your own growth. Focus on helping others to your best ability.

It’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s okay if things aren’t going according to plan. It’s okay if you’re lacking motivation. We’re in a cocoon. We’re exactly where we’re meant to be. This is part of the healing process. Embrace it.

Don’t quit. Don’t lose hope. Don’t give in to your impulses. Stay strong. Stay present. Stay grateful. We’ll get through this; stronger, smarter and more resilient than ever before.

Mindful Monday #2

There seems to be a lot going on in the world right now. In light of all the uncertainty, let’s remember to be mindful. In this session of Mindful Monday, I’ll talk about emotional awareness, your responsibility, exposure to information and gratitude.

I’d like to share an intriguing thought I had over the weekend. The planet is healing. Yes, the situation we’re currently in is daunting and frightening. However, there are always blessings hiding within the curses. Greenhouse gas emissions, air pollution and waste dumping have all been significantly reduced.

Hmm, also randomly started thinking about The Great Depression and the 1918 flu. Quite a circular process.

We should take some time to reflect, to learn, to grow and to empathize with the world around us. Be wary of toxic productivity, understand your boundaries and focus on your blessings. Let’s relate this to Covid-19.

Emotional awareness

There’s a lot of panic, anxiety and stress amidst the chaos that’s unfolding. We need to be aware of how our emotions are unfolding. It’s critical to stay level-headed and find ‘healthy’ coping mechanisms with our circumstances.

Don’t fall prey to other people panicking. Don’t spread misinformation or be a reason for other people to panic. Watch out for fake news. Don’t be guided by fear. Stay aware of your emotional state and accept it.

It’s okay to feel worried. It’s okay to feel nervous. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Try to be nonjudgmental towards yourself and those around you. The more you’re able to understand what you’re going through, the better equipped you’ll be to help others.

Your responsibility

As it stands, there is no cure for the pandemic. All we can do is try to reduce its impact. That means we need to take responsibility for our hygiene, social distancing and reducing stigma.

Social distancing is one of the most effective ways of containing a pandemic. By reducing the amount of people you’re exposed to, you decrease your chances of being affected or affecting others. It’s critical to maintain high levels of sanitation and hygiene at this point, to ensure you eliminate any sources of contamination.

Stigma always seems to be the elephant in the room. We all know it exists, yet we tend to ignore it. It’s absolutely crucial that we remain supportive and kind to everyone, especially to those who are infected or prone to being sick.

Start taking this seriously and act now. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Here’s a link to an incredible article interpreting the data and talking about your role in helping to deal with the covid-19 outbreak: https://medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca

Exposure to information

We’re living in a hyper-connected age where we’re exposed to more information in 24 hours, than people did in their entire lives around 25 years ago.

Keeping that in mind, we need to be conscious of the news we expose ourselves to. We might not immediately realize it, but after scrolling and reading a few articles our entire mood can change.

Ask yourself how much information you really need to move forward with this. We need to constantly stay up-to date, but within reasonable boundaries. Stay mindful of what your subconscious is absorbing, there’s always a lot to be thankful for.

Gratitude

The best way to deal with negativity is to focus on what is going well. It’s not always easy to shift into that frame of mind, but once you do, nothing can pull you down.

Most of us still have eyes to see, a mind to comprehend with, an eagerness to learn, a loving family, wonderful friends, food to eat and a place to stay.

Think about that more. Show your love and affection to your friends and family. (Virtually of course) Be thankful and be a source of positivity to the world around you.

It’s not easy, I know. We’ll get through this. We’ll look back at how insane things were and smile, knowing we were tough enough to survive. We’ll talk about this to our children and grandchildren one day.

Don’t lose hope. Stay mindful of what’s going on within you. Take in deep breaths and smile. Now is all you have, make the most of it.

Thinking out loud ~1

So I’ll take a different kind of approach here. Not any sort of book review, rather just a post where I’ll blab out some thoughts. “Writing is closer to thinking than speaking”. That’s a quote ingrained on one of my journals. Quite true I’d say, things are much clearer when you get to write it out.

If you think about it, every time you write something, you’re just narrating a story of some sort. When I read back over previous journal entries, it made me realize how much of a time-machine it is. The story is always remembered in some vivid way.

Speaking of memory, whenever we think of past experiences, the version of the story slightly alters. That’s purely because, the less you think about a certain experience or event, the less likely it is to stay in your mind. Kind of like an old trail, if it isn’t used enough, it’ll get covered up. Just realizing how easy it is for us to re-wire our own neurons. However, certain experiences do trigger a longer-lasting memory, especially if they’re unpleasant. We could go on for quite a while about this, but let’s move on.

Getting back to narrating a story. I recently joined something called the Student Leadership Program at UCT, which is essentially a weekly course on becoming a better leader in your community. The first session I attended was about thinking through your own story (and leadership). A few of my peers from the program went up to speak about their story, which I found incredibly inspiring and motivational.

We all have a story, whatever that means to us. What I realized while I was trying to articulate my own story and listening to others, was how important it is to have some sort of self-awareness.

Being self-aware enables us to see the patterns within our self, that may or may not be serving us. Identifying with our own journey is something vital, because we need to have some sort of driving force. If we don’t know where we’re going, we’re never going to reach the destination.

I believe that if we can start asking ourselves the right questions, it’ll automatically allow us to reflect on what matters most to us. Let me just jot down a few:

  • Who am I?
  • What are my key values?
  • What is my purpose?
  • Where am I going in this current direction?
  • What am I trying to achieve?
  • What do I believe in?
  • What is the impact I want to have on the world?
  • How can I be of service to others?
  • How do I want to be remembered?
  • Why do I care about certain people?
  • Am I surrounding myself with people who encourage and motivate me?
  • What is the greatest ideal of myself that I can be today?
  • Why am I here?
  • How can I learn from this?
  • How can I do this better?

Some of these questions might be a little foreign or even ‘too deep’, but they’re critical to having an idea of our own story. When we spend time thinking about these things, we’ll start getting answers we didn’t even realize we needed. This will be probably be through the change of habits and behaviours; unconsciously.

These are also questions that aren’t static, they’re dynamic and continuously evolving. We’ll never have the same answer to those questions everyday, because our story changes each and everyday.

The more experiences we have, the more we’re exposed to, the more interactions we engage in, the more we’ll inevitably change. Don’t forget that we’re just a bunch of neurons firing different pathways. Those pathways are re-constructed with every single thought!

“Reasons reap benefits.”

I didn’t intend on making this a long post, just wanted it to be something quick and meaningful. I hope I’ve managed to offer you a different perspective.

Ask yourself the right questions, and the answers will become clearer and clearer. When we have a better sense of where we’re going, we’ll find more effective ways to get there. So think about your story more often, and allow yourself to be. We’re all here momentarily, so let’s make it legendary.