Meditations

How can we follow our nature? Can we lose anything other than the present? How can we learn to accept death and make the most of our time? Why are we so bothered by other people?

I’m so excited to be talking to you about my favourite philosophy book; ‘Meditations’ by Marcus Aurelius. Despite the title of the book, it has little to do with meditation. It’s all about stoicism, which is a genre of philosophy.

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor around the period of 161 AD.

In today’s post, I’ll be talking all about death, following your nature, living in the present moment, dealing with your thoughts and being straightforward in your actions. Absolutely critical for times like this, when things seem to be falling out of control. Here are key takings from the book:

1. Discard your misperceptions
2. Limit yourself to the present
3. Anticipate your final hours

I’ll be quoting a lot directly from the book, as I won’t be able to paraphrase everything.

“The world is maintained by change. “

Human Nature

Maintaining your character is key to living a fulfilling life. Ask yourself at every moment: ‘Is this necessary?’

The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. >> Your soul takes on the colour of your thoughts. Avoid randomness. No pointless thoughts or actions. Let your thoughts be that of an unselfish person. Unconcerned with pleasure and sensual indulgence.

“If it doesn’t harm your character, how can it harm your life?”

There is an emphasis on self-control and resisting distractions within this philosophy. Not falling into temptations or desire. Being straight, not straightened. Work for proper understanding; unselfish action; truthful speech.

We have control over our perceptions. It’s inappropriate to judge things as being “good” or “evil”. Our interpretations of the objects and events are the problem. Protect your mind from error and accept what’s out of your control.

“Nowhere you can go is more peaceful – more free of interruptions- than your own soul.”

Practice virtues that you can show: Honesty, endurance, abstinence, patience, sincerity, moderation, resilience, seriousness. If it’s not right – don’t do it. If it’s not true – don’t say it.

We need to master the art of acquiescence. Pay attention to your impulses, make sure they don’t go unmoderated. Steer clear of your desires.

Get back up when you fail – celebrate behaving like a human. Stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable.

“Our own worth is determined by what we devote our energy to.”

Death

“Don’t live as if you have endless days ahead of you. Death overshadows you. While you’re alive and able – be good.”

If you do everything as if it were the last thing you ever did, you would live with so much more passion. Look at how soon we’re all forgotten. Disturbance only comes from within; the way we perceive the world.

Recognize that the difference between years from now and tomorrow is just as small. Death is inevitable. It’s the end of sense-perception, of being controlled by emotions, mental activity & enslavement to our bodies.

Why should we fear what’s bound to happen? It’s part of the flux of life. All those before you, long gone. All those to come, soon to go. Utilize the days you have to work on your character and help those around you.

Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?

“Disgraceful: For the soul to give up when the body is still going strong.”

Life is short. That’s all there is to say. Get what you can from the present – thoughtfully and justly.

Now

You can’t lose the past or the future, how could you lose what you don’t have?

Those who are alive today regardless of age, location, or race only have this present moment. A thousand more years or just one more day, what’s the difference?

The present is the same for everyone, its loss is the same. Don’t forget that.

“Change and flux constantly remake the world, just as the incessant progression of time remakes eternity.”

Be grateful for all that you have. Imagine how much you’d crave any of your blessings if they were to perish.

Short-lived creatures; long dead.

Serving Others

Everyone has a nature similar to our own. Even those who do us wrong are made of the same material. We were all born to work together, like feet, hands and eyes. We are all connected. Each of us are limbs, connected to the planet like a body.

Help others and be eager to share. How else are we meant to grow and flourish as a species? To care for all human beings is part of being human. Pride is a master of deception. To help others is to ultimately help yourself.

“What use is praise except to make your lifestyle a little more comfortable?“

The truth never harmed anyone. We harm ourselves by persisting in self-deceit and ignorance. By accepting what has been ordained unto us; that is wisdom. Don’t be ashamed to need help. Where does blaming others get you?

This book is phenomenal in helping you deal with pain and to overcome struggles. I highly recommend you give it a read for yourself, to fully absorb the wisdom behind it.

Stay present. Remember death. Serve those around you and follow your nature. This too shall pass.

Mindful Monday #3

Another beautiful day to be mindful. Before we get going, smile, look at the world around you and take in 3 deep breaths. Now let’s talk about food, auto-pilot, gratitude and habits.

Food

We definitely have work to do when it comes to eating mindfully. How exactly?

By focusing on your food more. Paying more attention to the texture, the smell and the taste of it. Did you know that 80% of the flavour we taste is acquired through smelling? (Google it haha)

Technology has become quite an ingrained aspect of our lives. Separating it from food however, will definitely help us enhance our life experience.

I can’t be the only one who has conditioned myself to eat while watching series, sports or YouTube videos. Let’s try to be aware of that and change our habits accordingly.

When you eat mindfully and are truly grateful for what you have, there’s so much blessing in it.

Auto-Pilot

We’re quite algorithmic. There’s so much that we do without a conscious thought. Brushing your teeth, getting into the car, scrolling on your phone, making food, changing into your outfit.

Are robots becoming more like us, or are we becoming more like them?

We could try paying a little more attention to the way the water feels when we’re washing the dishes, the way the milk tastes in our tea or the feeling of the wind stroking our hair.

This trains the mind to be present, which allows us to focus on what truly matters. Mindfulness is a practice which aligns our thoughts with our feelings, allowing us to actually experience the world.

Habits

Don’t get me wrong here, operating on auto-pilot makes us highly efficient. It saves our brain a lot of time and energy, by following routine without needing to think.

The only problem with that is that we don’t fully appreciate all that we have. We subconsciously take certain aspects of our life for granted, because we don’t spend enough time thinking about it.

By incorporating mindfulness into our habits, we can start feeling truly grateful for our blessings. Considering we can only be grateful in the present, why not focus on what we have a little more?

Spend more time focusing on your food. Consciously take in the scents and aromas of what you’re indulging. Focus a little more during your routine, to train your brain to be present. Think about how blessed you are as often as you can, it’ll truly change your life.

Anniversary with the womb

What is the best time to start contemplating everything that has ever happened in your life? On your birthday!

I’m going to think out loud again. This time, I’ll be sharing the insights I’ve gained over my birthday. I tend to use the space to reflect and ponder over what truly matters in life.

Death

Let’s start with some classic Memento Mori. I often realize how much closer I am to dying. It’s a combination of fear and liberty. The question that comes to my mind:

What would you do if you were to pass on tomorrow?

I sometimes wonder why I take my time for granted. It’s a weird roller-coaster of emotions. I either stress myself out and take on too many responsibilities, or I keep my schedule empty and just chill.

When I contemplate my own death, I’m often absorbed into the present moment. Regardless of all the worries, anxieties and stress, remembering the fact that I’m temporary definitely calms me down. The best way to spend my time, is to accept the present.

What time is it? Now… What else is there? 🙂

Gratitude

I also find myself contemplating my blessings. This process is genuinely endless, you can’t truly comprehend how blessed you are. There’s always something that you can be thankful for.

Take a few minutes every single day to just appreciate the wonderful people in your life. Your beautiful family and friends. Your senses, your body, your mind, your intellect, your eagerness to learn, your house, your food, your transport, your safety.

We should also appreciate our mothers more! It’s strange that I get all the attention, when she was the one who struggled for 9 months to get me here. Our anniversary with the womb should certainly focus on our moms.

I also realized that being grateful is a lot more than just words, it’s also based on action. How much you’re willing to do for other people, is a form of gratitude.

Service

The reason I bring up service so often, is because I think it’s combining the realization of death and gratitude; forming a legacy.

How else are we to find fulfillment on this chaotic little blue planet?

When we’re able to serve a cause greater than ourselves. When we’re able to serve those around us out of pure love. When we’re trying our best to be better people. When we’re trying our best to facilitate the growth of other people.

How do you want to be remembered?

That question brings about the notion of legacy. Not from an egotistical POV, but from a rather humbling aspect. What are the values and causes that you want to be remembered for? People won’t always remember what you say or do, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.

Use your birthday to reflect over your relationship with yourself, with others, with the present moment and most importantly with God.

I use posts like these to serve as reminders. We’re naturally forgetful beings, it’s what helps us stay sane (or insane). Remember that you will die. Remember that now is all you have. Remember to help others. Remember to be thankful.

Social media

Do you also feel like we’re all turning into cyber-zombies? Does it seem like everyone spends more time on their phones than with the people around them? Why do we find so much comfort in our devices?

This is one of the most important topics that I want to discuss, especially entering a new decade. How social media is absorbing us all, causing some form of digital dementia. You’ve heard the famous saying: We’re more connected than ever before, yet we all feel lonelier than ever before.

So what is it about social media that grabs our attention? And what can we do in light of this hyper-normalization?

I’m going to start by talking about my own experiences, the psychology behind social media and how to move forward.

My experiences

I spent 2018 on a social media sabbatical: deleting Instagram, Twitter, Snap Chat & Facebook. I returned in 2019, with a lot more awareness and discipline.

It’s often really hard to imagine giving social media up. Our first defensive instinct: It’s how I stay in touch with my friends/family! Can you imagine your life without all the cyber distractions?

You’d have way more free time than you’d be willing to believe. Not only that, you’ll be left with your thoughts for several moments at a time; how daunting. This is not me trying to convince you to get rid of all your social media, but just to share the lessons I’ve learnt on how we can use it more effectively.

The reason I decided to leave social media for a year was because of my break-up. In December 2017, I went through a very turbulent emotional phase. I was trying to deal with ‘heartbreak’.

I realized that what made it so difficult for me to get over my ex, was how easy it was to see her online presence. It left me in a strange mode. Constantly stalking, comparing, judging and feeling unworthy.

When I first got off social media, it felt alien. I had no idea what to do. No more worrying about my feed, posting on my story, tweeting random thoughts or taking unnecessary selfies on snap chat.

A few days in, I realized how much free time I had. This tempted me to re-download some of the apps out of boredom. Luckily, I came across this insightful quote that helped me: “Habits cannot be erased, they can only be replaced.” Understanding that led me to start reading & meditating.

A week into the sabbatical, I realized that my attention span started rapidly improving. My brain was getting out of the “swipe swipe swipe, like, comment, swipe swipe swipe” thought process. I began focusing a lot better.

One of the most important aspects that changed: My relationships started to flourish. I started being more present with people I cared about and spent time with. I spent less time showing off snippets of my life to impress people I barely know.

That fundamentally changed the wiring in my brain, because I was becoming less dependent on the dopamine rush from getting likes and comments. “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

A massive illusion of social media is that you’re staying in touch with people. But liking, commenting and occasionally reacting to a story is not staying in touch.

It’s an artificial connection. We keep faking the same idea to ourselves until we’re convinced it’s the only way to live. But it’s not.

The psychology behind it

To ease the tension a little bit, I want you to understand a fundamental aspect of social media; the current intention behind its creation. It’s designed by scientists/psychologists/programmers who have dedicated their lives to ensure you spend as much time on the app as possible. Why?

Your attention (or time) = profit.

If you pay attention to the amount of data that’s being sold from all your searches, likes, swipes and posts, you’d be rather frightened. I’m saying this because you need to understand that your addiction is not entirely your fault.

It was created to be as absorbing and as charming as possible. Much like this world in the eye of a believer. Temporary, deceptive and full of temptations.

When you understand the way ads affect your subconscious and the way it’s abusing your mental power, you’d be more inclined to make better decisions. Remember: Better awareness -> Better choices -> Better results.

How do we move forward? 

Learn more and stay conscious of the time you spend online. We’re entering an age where it’s more comfortable to stare at your screen when you’re bored than stare out of the window. (The latter provides the mind with impeccable subconscious insight).

We feel awkward, almost alien, when we’re waiting and not constantly checking our phones. Use the time limits on the apps and respect them. Encourage those around you to minimize their social media usage and try to have technology-free gatherings.

This will contribute to your mental health and hopefully improve the loneliness epidemic that we’re currently experiencing. You don’t necessarily realize it, but you’re always comparing yourself to other people online.

Whether you choose to accept that or not is up to you, your unconscious does 95% of the work for you anyway.

I know some of this may have been a little intense and that I could’ve covered a lot more ground. But this is as brief as I could make it.

I’m not trying to force anyone to change or to get you all to abandon social media and start living in a forest (although I wish I was). But for the sake of your happiness and mental clarity, spend a little more time being present with your weird thoughts and feelings, instead of scrolling aimlessly.

Let’s try to be a little less zombie-like, a little more present, and a lot more loving. Stop worrying about taking a picture of every moment, and start living in it.

Nothing contributes to a healthy relationship as much as active listening and honest communication. That just isn’t as effective when your phone is in your hand.

We don’t have a choice on whether we DO social media, the question is how well we do it.

Erik Qualman

(A little ironic how I took pics to post on my blog, then talking about living in the moment haha).

Warming up for 2020

How would you like to start your new year? Any new year resolutions? Are there aspects of your life that you’re excited to change?

Surely you have plans to start chasing your goals and build in healthier routines. I’d like to use this post to discuss how we can start the new year with a bang.

I’m not at all an advocate for waiting till new years to start making progress. Which is why I think this is such an important topic, to see how we can utilize the time we have NOW, to work towards our aspirations.

By starting small, dreaming big, loads of reflection and gratitude, I’d like to help you successfully transition into the new year.

There is a psychological advantage in starting the new year on a clean slate, as it builds momentum. So let’s dive into how we can use these tricks and utilize our brains most effectively.

Start now

It takes around 2 months of consistent dedication to a create a habit. If you start thinking now of what you’d like to implement in 2020, you’ll already have an advantage.

Remember that time is a relative concept, we each experience it differently; although it passes at the same rate. So don’t add too much pressure on yourself to perfect new routines at the very start of the year.

By using December to warm up to your goals, you’ll enter the new year ready to rumble.

Start small

Here’s something that I’ve mentioned before: Start small. It’s such a recurring pattern that I keep witnessing; diving into large goals and getting overwhelmed.

A mental trick is to start small and make the first step as easy as possible.

You’re trying to build up towards massive goals and become the best version of yourself. Move from conscious incompetence, to unconscious competence. Once it becomes comfortable doing the easy task, make it a little more challenging.

Remember: Growth only occurs in a state of discomfort.

Stay consistent

The key to all mastery? Consistency. This is something else that I often find when people fail to achieve their new year resolutions; they stop being consistent.

Self-love is essentially keeping at your craft and taking care of yourself. It’s pushing one more rep at the gym. It’s refusing to go out when you haven’t exercised or read for the day. It’s refusing to order pizza when it isn’t your cheat day. It’s journalling consistently and working on your emotional intelligence.

Be like the sun. It rises and sets everyday without fail.

“We are what we do repeatedly. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Yes that quote is a little overused, but it’s very true. First we form our habits, then our habits form us.

Don’t stop believing in yourself. Especially when it gets difficult. That’s where it counts the most. Everyone can make progress when it’s easy or when it’s a good day. It’s about making progress when it’s difficult or when you dread it.

Read, reflect, plan and grow

If you have been journalling throughout the year, now is the time to look back on those entries and see the changes you’ve endured. You’ve survived all the tough times and achieved so many goals. Celebrate your accomplishments!

Embrace the progress and reflect on your life in general. See what has worked and what hasn’t worked for you. There’s so much to learn from our own life, if we just give it a little more attention.

All the L’s that I’ve received this year are just Lessons.

“I never fail or lose, I always learn.” Keep that mentality and nothing can crush your momentum. Foster a growth mindset and your blessings will be so much clearer.

As for planning and growing, my post on time management sums it up pretty well. If you can form structure in your life, your days will become exponentially more productive. Don’t forget to write down your goals and visualize yourself achieving them. Consistently.

Stay mindful, give thanks & forgive

Stay mindful of your thoughts and behaviours. Notice the aspects of your mentality that are holding you back. Remove the self-doubt and negative self-talk. Once you become aware of a thought or emotion, it no longer holds any weight over you.

Don’t be afraid to feel. Don’t be afraid to fall or fail. Don’t be afraid of rejection. Life is a set of trials and errors. If you’re not willing to make mistakes, you’ll never come up with anything original.

Focus on your blessings. Think of all you have to be grateful for every single day. Think of how blessed you are to live through another year. Remember that death is the only guarantee we have in life, so live each day as if it’s your last.

This Kurzgesagt video perfectly explains gratitude! One of the best YouTube videos I’ve come across.

Do yourself another massive favour and learn to forgive. Holding onto grudges only causes more suffering for you. Does it make sense to start a new year with resentment of the past? Make peace with your demons and those who’ve done you wrong.

Not for them. For you. Forgiveness is another form of self-love. It’s a reflection of your character and the type of person you are. The more you’re able to forgive, the more peace and clarity you’ll witness in your life.

This post was meant to be a quick summary of my favourite topics. I want us all to try our best, each and every single day. Don’t wait for the new year to start. Now is all you have. You don’t know if you’ll have another day to live. Spread love, joy and peace to your best ability, each and everyday.

Smile more. Laugh more. Be grateful. Be merciful. And most importantly, don’t be crippled by fear. Life favours the bold and courageous. You are fully capable of achieving your wildest goals and ambitions, don’t let anyone (especially you!) stop you.

Self-actualization

I’ve been choosing topics from my Instagram followers and I think this one is super interesting. I’ll be speaking from my own understanding of what self-actualization is; finding a fulfilling way to live life.

The aspects that I’ll be considering are: Going inwards, understanding your environment and asking questions. I’d also like to emphasize how important contentment is (again), especially with regards to having a healthier outlook on life.

The reason I repeat topics are for it to serve as a reminder.

Going inwards (Reflection, introspection, journalling, meditating)

Being non-judgmental towards yourself and others. This is something we don’t pay enough attention to. We’re constantly in a state of judging. Whether we choose to be conscious of it or not. Our minds are quick at naming, blaming, comparing, and judging. Ourselves first and foremost.

Going inwards constitutes that we notice the thoughts that arise. No attachment, just awareness. Treat thoughts like clouds in the sky. They’re always different, always changing, and usually unpredictable. When we attach ourselves to thoughts or judge ourselves for the thoughts that we do have, we act as if the sky is in a permanent state.

But how untrue is that? Considering that change is inevitable, we should be kinder in dealing with our thoughts. Let’s look at a few ways to do just that.

-Meditating. The reason we should sit down and give ourselves space to let thoughts come and go, is to truly realize how impermanent they are. This would constitute setting a specific time every day (preferably early in the morning or just before you go to bed), to just let your mind wander. No attachment, just observation.

I like to think of it as going to the gym for your brain. You’re training your mind to be more present & to detach yourself from distractions.

–Journalling. Oh hey, it’s this again! I honestly keep bringing this up because it has proven to be paramount in developing self-awareness. When you journal consistently, you gain insight on thought and behavioural patterns that you would otherwise just ignore.

Journalling provides a space for you to unwrap thoughts and ideas that are just floating around in your mind. It allows you to dump out unnecessary thoughts too, and clears up your mind. You also become very aware of trends in your life, that you can improve on or correct. I’d also recommend doing this either in the morning or before bed.

Consistency is the key to mastery. So make sure you try and implement both these habits on a regular basis, to truly reap their benefits.

Understanding your environment (Parents, friends, school)

Are we shaped by our circumstances? Are we able to change those circumstances? How much are we affected by our peers? How do we try to live up-to other people’s expectations of us?

Reasons reap benefits. Remember to keep asking your self important questions. This allows you to reflect quite easily on the person you’ve become. So let’s try and answer some of these questions, then dive into deeper ones.

A huge part of our psyche has been shaped in our childhood. This always fascinates me because that’s where we usually have the least control. Our parents, peers and environment largely shape the type of people we end up becoming.

We definitely do have inherent and innate talents, as well as some control in the way we deal with our circumstances. But they’re still influenced by the way we were brought up. Understanding yourself therefore requires unwrapping the parts of you that you never think of. The younger versions of yourself. The parts that you’ve evolved to ignore.

When we’re able to be vulnerable with ourselves, there’s no limit to how much we can learn. Just look at the past year. You’re nowhere near the same person you were at the end of 2018 (hopefully). Indulge in the lessons.

Constantly think back on what has worked for you. What hasn’t worked for you. Areas of your life that you want to improve. Areas of your life that have already improved.

More Questions

• Why am I here?
• What is my purpose?
• How can I contribute?
• How long will I be here for?
• What happens next?

Start your day by refreshing your intentions. Ask yourself important questions. Think clearly of your vision. If you don’t have one yet, work towards it.

Now (Is all there is)

How can we use the present moment to extract valuable lessons from the past, to make wiser decisions in the future?

By being conscious of where you are now. By realizing that there is no way back, time only moves forward. By understanding that there is no such thing as failure or defeat, only lessons to be learnt.

By being vulnerable. Stop holding yourself back based on what other people are going to think. Have the courage to be yourself. Fully immerse yourself in the present moment by being vulnerable with those you love.

I spoke about how being vulnerable with yourself opens up doorways to learning. Being vulnerable with others opens up doorways for teaching.

Don’t fear failure. Don’t fear rejection. Don’t fear being laughed at. You are meant to live your best life, and achieve your full potential. Whatever that means to you. Take the leap of faith. Chase your dreams. Follow what ignites the flame within.

It must be acknowledged that self-actualization is something achieved through privilege. Only once your physiological and safety needs are met, can you truly start to climb the ladder. It’s crucial therefore, to be grateful if you’re able to start developing a feeling of belonging and high self-esteem.

To wrap things up, I just want to talk a little about gratitude. If you’re reading this, it means you’re probably high up in the hierarchy of needs. This is something to be extremely grateful for. There are so many other people who can’t achieve their dreams or pursue their passions, purely because of their socio-economic status.

Being thankful is the least we can do, alongside helping other people, to truly find contentment in life. I’m going to end by bringing up this wonderful quote again, because it’s imperative to this topic.

“You find yourself, when you lose yourself in the service of others.”

Time management

I’ve been requested to talk a little about time management, so let’s give it a go. I’d like to first try and define time, or at least come to an understanding of what it is. Then we can dive into how to maneuver through the time we have. I aim to make you feel more comfortable with all the time we have.

The advice that I share here is not something that I expect you to follow or do. My intention is for you to absorb the wisdom behind it, and apply it in your own way. We each have our own idea of what is considered valuable and our own set of responsibilities.

We find value in different activities and behaviours, therefore there can’t be a guide on what to spend your time doing. We can try and find healthy habits, which enable us to find more time in our rigorously busy schedules. Again, we each have our own idea of healthy, so let me elaborate on what I mean by that.

Healthy to me is something that enables you to find fulfillment, contentment and contributes to longevity and endurance. Let’s try and form some healthy habits, which can enable us to spend more time on what we consider to be valuable.

What is time?

Such an arbitrary concept. Something we’ve made up to allow us to fully utilize the changing of the seasons and to form some structure. Like an opinion, time is perceived differently by everyone.

The young (who often have less to do) feel it passing by slowly, anticipating boredom. The old (who often have much more to do) feel it slipping between their fingers, hardly able to hold onto a few minutes.

Tomorrow is a fiction of our imagination. Yesterday will never return. Today is all there is. Keeping that in mind, let’s utilize the present moment with structure, consistency and some balance.

Structure -Necessary as a base.

This is forming a skeleton of your ideal day. Think of it as the foundation of your empire. How do we form structure? By setting out goals and objectives, each and every day. To do lists work exceptionally well here. Before you start the day, set out specific tasks that you’d like to accomplish.

This cannot be random. You need to look at your schedule, and fill in the gaps with whatever you need to get done. I cannot emphasize how important it is for you to have a solid morning routine. If you haven’t already, check out my post on The 5 AM Club.

Writing down objectives of the day is relatively simple. Following through and respecting it is a completely different ball game. To actually notice a difference, you need to be committed to your craft.

You need to love yourself enough to keep your promises. So don’t treat the list like it’s insignificant.

Follow through. Work hard. Don’t end the day without ticking everything off. Find the satisfaction in pursuing the targets. [Reasonably of course]

Here are a few examples of what I put on my list everyday:

• Morning Routine (Pray, meditate, journal, 10-20 min exercise)
• Read (30 min a day)
• Blog (I’m ticking this off rn!)
• Attend lectures and complete tutorials for the day
• Gym (or some other form of exercise)
• Cook (or just prepare lunch)

You don’t want your day to be overloaded, but you don’t want it to be bare either. Find slots in your day to fit in important activities and don’t allow procrastination to push you off track. Watching series aimlessly or scrolling on your phone for hours will definitely suck up valuable time.

Leave your comfort zone. Be ambitious. Dream wildly.

Structure curates a space for spontaneity and creativity. It only becomes mundane or boring when you allow it to be. Continue to explore in your free time and find something to learn.

Consistency– Necessary in order to keep the structure in tact.

This is something else I love speaking about. Consistency! Little by little, a little becomes a lot. To be successful in any aspect of your life, there are certain actions which you just have to repeat.

Want to be fit? Exercise consistently. Want to be smarter? Read and learn consistently. Want to form healthier relationships? Show your love and care consistently.

So in order to manage your time better, the key most definitely lies in consistency. When you’re consistent with the structure you’ve formed, it opens up time for you to do more. You gain confidence from consistency because you know what to expect from yourself (to a certain degree). That confidence enables you to move forward and make progress towards your goals.

So with structure and consistency, we need to find balance. To ensure we’re living a wholesome life, where we’re constantly contributing, and being leaders to those around us.

Balance – Resting is necessary.

Having such a rigorous schedule definitely sounds exhausting, that’s why we should always account for some rest time.

Your structure should include time for you to rest, recover and reload. Make sure that you’re getting the right amount of sleep every night. Make sure that you’re putting in exercise at least 2-3 times a week. Make sure that you’re spending some time in nature too.

I can’t emphasize how important it is to spend time around nature and to just let your mind wander. Being bored can be very healthy. You need to give yourself time to allow thoughts and ideas to manifest and come to fruition.

Find a balance academically, spiritually, mentally and physically. My post on equilibrium explains it in much more detail.

Islamic perspective

Salah (Prayer). One of the most fascinating aspects of Islam to me, is that we have 5 obligatory prayers each day. This kind of puts what I’m speaking about into the spotlight; structure, consistency and balance. The structure and consistency of these prayers, enables us to revive our spiritual relationship with God each and everyday.

Knowing very well when it’s time to pray, allows us to work around it. Making it easier to slot things into an organized schedule.

I know everyone follows a different belief system, but it’s still critical to form some type of spiritual practice.

I want to change the self-fulfilling prophecy that people say: “I don’t have enough time”. It’s just not a good enough excuse for your strive towards mediocrity.

We all have the same amount of time, some people learn to use it more effectively than others. It mostly depends on what you choose to prioritize.

Utilize your time more effectively by building some structure. Form a schedule that works best for you and respect it. Being consistent is the best way to show yourself some love, and to build confidence in your ability to follow things through. Lastly, find balance within the structure. Your mind, body and soul all need to be taken care off.

Thinking out loud ~ 2

Appreciation. Nature. Stillness. Presence.

Something that I find incredibly valuable, is noticing how unique the sky looks; Every. Single. Day. Just take a moment every morning to notice the patterns and formations taken by the clouds. It’ll never be the same.

I think being present amplifies your ability to learn. When we’re fully engaged in a single activity and give it our undivided attention, we’ll notice and take into account the most minute of details. This allows us to build on our muscle memory a lot quicker.

So how do we stay present? My first suggestion would be to acknowledge what a chatter box our ‘monkey mind’ is. We’re constantly evaluating ourselves and other people, which pulls us out of the now. By sifting through all these different perspectives in our minds, it leads to distraction. Do you want to know what works as jet fuel for distraction?

Social media.

This might be obvious and I’m certain there’ll be varying opinions on this. But you can’t deny the fact that, spending excessive amount of time on platforms that have infinite scroll feeds, will damage your concentration and capacity to learn rapidly. There’s no learning without remembering. Remembering also requires us to pay proper attention, for efficient storage of memories.

Your mind is one of your most valuable assets. There’s definitely a reason why there are systems in place, trying hard to take control over it. The more time you spend unconsciously scrolling through posts or binge-watching, the more you’re allowing others to influence your mindset.

All I’m saying is, make sure you use social media consciously. You can get trapped very swiftly. Moving onto something that positively affects your mind.

Sunsets. Trees. Butterflies.

I talk about plants and my love for trees a lot to my friends, because I feel like I gain wisdom when walking through forests. Because of their resilience and ability to adapt, it’s inspiring to be around that kind of energy. Following your nature and doing what’s required of you each and everyday. No randomness, no distraction. Everything in moderation.

Sunsets bring joy to my soul. There’s no other way to describe it. Sitting in sea point watching the waves crash over the rocks, with the pastel colours of the departing sun across the horizon. I try and learn from those experiences too. No matter what happens, the sun still sets and rises at the same place. It shows up. It follows its nature.

The waves of the ocean? Exactly the same thing. Resilience, consistency, perseverance. It brings serenity and calmness to the mind and body too. I have a hypothesis as to why. When we’re observing nature, the energy is pure and cyclic. The world follows a certain path, we just need to understand the inevitable temporariness of it all.

That leaves us with mindfulness and gratitude. What better way to live, than in the moment with utmost contentment?

Just wanted this to be another quick reminder, on how valuable it is to protect your mind & values. Take in deeper breaths, open your eyes a little wider and always remember to smile a lot brighter. Notice the small details and be grateful to have yet another day.

[Took all these pics on different nature-appreciation missions :)]

The Journey IV

Growth Mindset 

Today’s topic shall be about mindset, particularly what it means to have a growth mindset and how to think about stress. I’ve been asked about how I deal with stress & anxiety, considering how strenuous the degree I’m undertaking is. (I’m studying chemical engineering at the University of Cape Town). So I’ll also discuss certain techniques that could be useful when feeling overwhelmed by life’s adventures. 

Let’s first differentiate between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. A fixed mindset assumes that our intelligence, abilities & characteristics are static givens. Meaning they’re biologically fixed and that our innate skills can’t be changed. Contrary to that, a growth mindset emphasizes the ways in which we can constantly change and adapt when faced with challenges, and has a completely different outlook on success and failure. The diagram below clearly illustrates the 2 different mindsets.

A mental technique that I’ve learned this year is  “Not yet”. Whenever you encounter a new challenge or something that you’re currently unable to do, tell yourself not yet. It’s the best way to keep optimistic whilst embracing the challenge. When you can convince yourself that no matter what it is you’re trying to achieve, you’re just not there yet, the hope stays alive and the dream lives on. I’ve tried this several times and it’s been extremely powerful, especially when pushing for things that seem impossible. Basically don’t ever tell yourself that you can’t. Just not yet :). 

Adding on to the topic of growth mindset, complimenting people for their effort and dedication instead of the results or outcomes.  Part of having a growth mindset includes realizing that it’s about the journey not the destination. That is especially true when it comes to academics. Parents & teachers need to realize that the effort and dedication students put in, matters just as much or even more than the results produced. The skill of pushing yourself and working hard is something to be admired and can help you in every aspect of your life. 

Stress and anxiety often occur as a result of uncontrolled thought patterns. Essentially overthinking. From my own experience of dealing with intense project weeks and exams, I’ve learnt a few tricks that helped me get through them. The most important in my opinion, is staying present. When you have a deeper understanding of the Now, you’ll learn to accept that overthinking is just thinking about things that don’t really exist. When you have a certain amount of time to get something done, give it your best within the present moment. There’s no use worrying about how little time you have left or how much work there is to do. All you have is right now, so use that to your advantage. Cultivate a belief system and program your mind to make the most of the time you currently have. When you can filter your energy and time into that, instead of overthinking, you’ll be able to achieve all that you need. There’s also no use in stressing over things out of your control, so whenever you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, always start with recognition. Once you learn to acknowledge the feeling, accept it, write it down and let it go. Clear your thoughts and get back on the grind. Watch a motivational video or do something that’ll help distract you in a positive way, such as exercising or reading. 

Another trick I learnt, was changing my mindset towards stress. I like to think of stress as my body’s way of getting me ready to take action, gearing up. Whenever you realize you’re stressed, think of it as a reminder to get things done. When you form a healthier relationship with stress, it definitely helps you deal with it better. 

I’ve discussed the difference between a growth and fixed mindset, where the former allows you to constantly seek challenges to grow & the latter makes you feel threatened by obstacles and difficulties. How we should change the way we compliment people and focus more on the effort, rather than the results. How stress can be your friend and just a simple change in perspective can go a long way in dealing with the infamous feeling. I’ll end off with another brilliant quote that I love:

“We suffer not from the events that occur to us, but rather our perception of them.”