Eternal Youth

Do you feel like you’re getting old, like really quickly? Do you miss those carefree days, where you had a lot less to worry about? Perhaps you wish you were a few years younger, maybe a few decades younger. The saudade of childhood and adolescence.

It was my birthday last week, which is always a strange feeling. I received a number of messages from people who seemed rather envious of my youth (those who were younger than me displayed the opposite feeling, obviously). It got me wondering…

What’s up with everyone and wanting to feel young?

A reminder of what youth is all about

I don’t necessarily consider myself all that young anymore, but I suppose I’m not that far off my teenage years yet. Being a young adult is fantastic, I absolutely love it. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its fair share of trials.

It’s a point in your life where the learning curve is steep. You’re entering a lot of unfamiliar territory. You’re constantly exposed to new experiences and are forced to leave your comfort zone. You’ve got to figure it all out, and quickly. You make a lot of mistakes, all the time.

The advantage of this period is that you’re often only looking after yourself (not necessarily the case for everyone). You are truly responsible for just you.

What I’ve also noticed is that age is a just an arbitrary number. It’s something we latch onto in our minds and allow to drag us down. We should embrace becoming older, it’s a natural part of life. We need the elderly just as much as we need the youth. The present moment is the same for everyone.

The wisdom accompanying old age

If you really think about it, you’re getting older by the second. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 40 or 60. Everyone gets old at the same rate (I can’t say that I’m speaking from experience, lol).

Life experience can only be obtained through the process of living – which requires as to constantly age. Wisdom doesn’t necessarily just come from ageing. It comes from constantly reflecting on the different, difficult and novel experiences. You’ve seen the troubles that life can throw at you from a much closer perspective.

Embrace the fact that you’re experiencing nature at its very best. We are all temporary beings. We’re not meant to be here forever. Utilize the remarkable history that you’ve been through to make the most of what you have. Share the lessons that you’ve learned from the countless mistakes that you’ve made. Serve those around you while you still can. Don’t stop growing.

The present moment is all we have

We are now back to the central theme of my blogs; embracing the present moment. Life always seems to be rushing past us. We have no time for anything. We feel nostalgic over the years that have passed by. We constantly yearn to feel elsewhere. We never seem to be satisfied with where we are.

Here’s a life hack: think about how you are exactly where you’re meant to be. Indulge in the present and find serenity within acceptance.

“Live for today like you’ll die tomorrow. Plan for the future like you’ll live forever.”

I’ve met some people who radiate youthfulness, despite their old age. I’ve also met people who seemed incredibly old, despite how young they were. It got me thinking about something else.

We can all be young at heart. It’s the way we choose to fuel the fire in our bellies. The energy we bring into each and every day. The enthusiasm we sustain in all of our conversations. The risks we decide to take. The choices we don’t regret taking. The vulnerable honesty that allows us to build meaningful connections.

I want you to really embrace the fact that age is not everything. You can choose to be as young or as old as you want to be. Your actions, choices, mindset and enthusiasm speak more than anything. There are obviously some real constraints and complications associated with physically getting older, but it doesn’t have to define you.

You can strive for eternal youth by having a playful heart, despite how old you are getting. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’ll leave you with some brilliant advice by the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH):

On The Shortness Of Life

I’m currently reading a book called ‘On the Shortness of Life’ by Seneca; a Roman stoic philosopher from the stone-age (haha). The principle is straightforward and quite relevant to the blog’s theme; remember that you will die (Memento Mori).

Life is short. As part of nature, we have one inevitable experience in common; to pass on. It’s easy to forget how short-lived and temporary we are. We’re always chasing tomorrow and planning like we’ve got infinite days ahead of us. Let’s really look at how time, wisdom, service and purpose play a role in our understanding of death (and life I suppose).

Time

I keep coming back to the concept of time. It’s seriously abstract and most of us have just ignored that fact. What does experiencing ‘an hour’ even mean? Even things like time zones and losing time whilst travelling (on a plane for example). It really does boggle the mind when you sit and think about it.

What we ultimately need to understand is that time is our most precious resource. We tend to prioritize things like wealth and socializing, over time. We behave as if we drew from an infinite supply. Each of us has a very specific time, location and way in which we’re going to pass on. There’s no escaping that for sure.

Life is kind of like playing 30 seconds. As soon as you’re born, the hourglass is turned over and you have to get as much done before your time is up. Meditate on how often you waste your time over trivial matters and having mundane conversations.

What if you treated everyday as if it were your last? How different would your current trajectory look?

Wisdom

There’s a lot of wisdom to gain from contemplating your own death. I’ve spoken about this before, but it’s a reminder we need all the time. Wisdom to me, is just learning from your own mistakes and making improvements based on that.

We’ve all made several mistakes in our lifetime. We’re going to make a lot more in the near future. The point is to accept that you’re imperfect and temporary. That you’re on a journey to continuous learning. That you’re just a student of life. There’s no such thing as perfection, no matter how hard you strive for it.

Keeping that in mind, I want you to further think about your limiting beliefs and what’s preventing you from being vulnerably honest with those you care about.

Here’s a good question to ask yourself if you’re ever feeling embarrassed or ashamed about a mistake you’ve made:
Is this going to matter in a year? In 5 years? In 10 years?

Service

We’re here to help each other. We’ve come this far as a species because of collaboration. Because of education. Because of the way we’ve looked after each other. The best way to leave your mark on the world is through service.

This can come in any form that seems fit to you. It can be through serving your parents, assisting with charity events, teaching and sharing your knowledge, looking after the elderly, visiting the sick or just being kind to strangers that you meet. There’s no limit or set way of contributing.

Do what makes you feel good whilst assisting others in any way possible. You’ll notice what a tremendous effect that will have on your sense of purpose.

Purpose

Have you ever sat down to consider the legacy you’d like to leave behind? The impact you want to make on the world? We’re not here by chance or coincidence. Everything is purposeful, it’s all Divine Wisdom.

Service and purpose go hand-in-hand. They both feed into each other. The more you contribute, the more you feel alive, the more you develop your sense of purpose. It’s not necessarily a ‘quest’. You don’t have to search for purpose. You just live it by doing the best that you can, in everything you experience.

To try and make sense of these concepts, I’ve got an interesting way to think about it.

Imagine yourself on your death bed. You’re old, you’re weak and you’re very much dependent on others. What was your biggest regret? What was something you’ve always wanted to pursue? What was the biggest waste of your time? What drained your energy? What made you energized?

Who would you spend more time on? Who would you spend less time with? What would you appreciate and cherish more if you could? What would you do differently?

Honestly, we’re not that far off from being on our death beds. We take nothing with us when go down to our grave. Keep that in mind and reflect on these important questions. Make the most of the time that you have left. Always remember, now is all you have.

Find Reasons To Say Thank You

Today’s post is going to be a gentle reminder to be grateful. To focus on all your blessings. To give more. To find reasons to say thank you.

I’ll speak about some mindfulness, focusing on what you have, giving more and why we should stop complaining.

Mindfulness

How do we always end up back here? It’s quite incredible really, mindfulness plays an integral role in every aspect of your life. When you’re focusing on the smell of your coffee in the morning, you’re appreciating it more. When you stare out at the sky and enjoy the way the clouds slither, you appreciate it more.

When you live consciously, you’re in the present moment. When you’re in the present, you appreciate life more. When you’re able to appreciate life, you can find reasons to say thank you.

Focus on what you have

Energy follows focus. Think deeply about that. The quality of your thoughts and what you pay attention to, ultimately guide your objectives. When you focus on what you have and all that you’re blessed with, you live in a state of contentment.

Being content is a mindset more than anything. It’s accepting the present moment for what it truly is, instead of wishing to be somewhere else.

The more you give, the more you get

I’ve mentioned this philosophy before. It’s quite an evident aspect of life. When you’re a giver, you receive more in return. I learned this from my parents at a very young age, which I’m very grateful for.

Giving is the ultimate form of being thankful. Whether it’s your time, energy or money. It’s ultimately about service, sacrificing a piece of who you are to uplift those around you.

It’s an integral part of Islam too. It reminds me of this famous quote from the Quran:

Alhamdulillah

The opposite of complaining

When you complain, you’re essentially devaluing what you’ve been blessed with. There’s a big difference between criticism and complaining. One is a form of feedback to make improvements, the other just attracts negative energy.

It’s definitely difficult and requires a lot of conscious effort. It’s something I struggle with quite a lot. Complaining at every inconvenience is a form of ingratitude and it’s important for us to try and avoid it as much as possible.

The point I’m trying to make here is that there’s always a reason to say thank you. When you look at your body and the marvelous ways it functions, when you notice the roof above your head, the food on your table, the loving people in your life.

It’s noticing these little things each and every single day that makes life truly worth it. It’s not easy, it was never meant to be. It’s part of the journey. But let’s make this journey one hell of a joy ride.

My request to you now, is to get a piece of paper (or open the notepad on your phone) and write down 3 things you’re grateful for. Do this on a regular basis and notice how your life will change.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Despite what the title says, this post has nothing to do with mirrors. Or walls for that matter. It does, however, have everything to do with reflection.

It’s been a while since I’ve just shared random thoughts. The recent posts have been somewhat structured and have had some kind of life lesson. Today I’ll be thinking out loud. I’ll be sure to include some philosophy and wisdom.

Routine and schedule

I tend to talk about routine and how important it is to have a schedule on a regular basis. But where did this all come from? Was I always like this? Why am I always trying to motivate people?

Asking myself these questions was a great way to gain insight into how my brain works.

I was never like this at all. In fact, during high school, I was more or less the complete opposite. I wouldn’t dare touch a book. I had no sense of routine. I would just play video games at any given opportunity, watch series, or play soccer.

A very clear memory I have of my upbringing is the way my dad used to yell at me to wake up in the morning for school. I was notorious for constantly getting back into bad after he’d wake me up several times. This genuinely carried on until I left for university. God really tested that man’s patience with me.

Somehow, after all those years of resisting waking up early and forming a routine, I started seeing why it was so important. I became a ‘morning person’, despite always believing that I never was.

https://www.amazon.com/YJT-Productions-Morning-Routine/dp/B07CR26BG3

I kind of started realizing how most things in life depend on some form of structure and consistency. Without those 2 key components, we just end up stagnating. It took some thinking and looking back at the ways things were, to figure that out.

Throwback

What I really want to focus on here is how I got to where I am, by reflecting over my daily disciplines and practice. Throwbacks have become a way for us to reminisce the past and think of the good old days.

The only problem is that we tend to focus on all the good and what went well. That’s great and can definitely put you in a good mood, but it’s not where most of the learning occurs.

Life teaches us lessons from our painful experiences. We’ve also evolved to find ways to numb the pain and to hide it within deep layers of our psyche. This results in subconscious behaviours that can be toxic or that hold us back.

So what do we do about that?

Reflect!

The short story I wrote about my simple experience of waking up early was greatly affected by my experiences growing up. Through reflection and trying to understand where the rebelliousness was actually coming from, I managed to become a ‘morning person’.

This also works for situations that are much deeper and more important than just waking up early. I just want you to utilize the tool of reflection more often.

Looking into a mirror is quite a trip. You’re looking into the person you’ve become after all the years of experience on planet Earth. Here are some things to think about:

• What have you learned up until now?
• What important lessons would teach yourself from 5 years ago?
• How much have you changed since last year?
• In what ways are you mad?
• What is holding you back?
• Why are you so annoying?

Don’t be offended by these questions, they’re meant to help you reflect. Use them as prompt questions in your journal, if you have one. Or just think about them next time you’re staring out the window or going for a walk. You’ll be amazed at the insights you gain.

We’re all idiots

Deep down, we’re all deeply flawed. Some of us just tend to cover it up better than others. I’ve taken this concept from The School Of Life. You can find the link to a very interesting article below.

In essence, realizing how we’re all a bunch of idiots can make us a little more confident. Don’t try too hard to appear ‘normal’. No one is perfect. People who seem to have it all together are just people we don’t really know well enough. That’s also where the whole concept of a crush comes from.

Be yourself and learn from your mistakes. There’s nothing wrong being flawed or being an idiot. It’s part of the human experience.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-thinking-youre-an-idiot-lends-confidence/

By looking back at all the ways you’ve previously messed up, you can learn how to improve. It’s not about avoiding making mistakes, it’s about learning as much as we can from them.

“Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.”

We’re hyper-adaptive beings. We have impeccable feedback loops. Understand how they work and take care of yourself. You will push through. You will make it out. You will get through this; stronger, faster and better than ever before. Keep trying your best.

Look forward, but take a moment to look back and appreciate how far you’ve come. You’re absolutely incredible.

Toxic Positivity

‘Don’t worry!’

‘Just stay positive…’

‘Everything will work out.’

‘Imagine how much worse things could be?’

I’ve recently come across a very interesting term called ‘toxic positivity’. This is very similar to the concept of toxic productivity that I’ve discussed before, whereby we push certain mindsets past a healthy threshold.

Today, I’ll speak about what I think toxic positivity is, how positivity can become toxic, why we experience it, emotional intelligence and vulnerability.

I enjoy discussing things that I often find myself guilty of following, because it’s how I grow and learn. The IG post below is where I found out about the concept and is a great place to learn more about it.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by so informed (@so.informed)

What is toxic positivity?

It is essentially portraying yourself as being happy all the time, regardless of what life throws at you. It’s rejecting the negative emotions that come up and living in an illusion that everything is perfectly okay. This meme perfectly sums it up for me:

How can positivity be toxic?

The term toxic refers to something being affected by poison. This is often the case when you’re obsessed to the degree that it no longer serves its original intent.

Positivity in and of itself is wonderful. It’s what keeps people going. It helps you see the best in situations. But don’t confuse positivity with optimism and don’t let positivity hinder your ability to feel negative emotions.

Our ability to feel a wide range of emotions is what inherently makes us human beings. Take a look at the diagram below. Can you imagine denying yourself more than 2/3 of that range? It’s all there for a reason, we’re meant to feel things.

When your sole focus becomes trying to always be ‘happy’, you’re falling into the toxic trap.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ea/9d/46/ea9d468243a408df546ed2946e8bc86e.jpg

Why do we do it?

Because feeling sad sucks. It’s that simple really. We don’t enjoy the feelings of frustration, anger, disappointment, embarrassment or fear etc. However, that doesn’t mean that we should try and escape from experiencing them.

Always being cheerful is something embedded deep into our psyche from a very young age. Whereas being upset or frustrated is something frowned upon / ‘annoying’. This is why I believe that emotional intelligence is so important, because it allows us to understand that there’s a plethora of emotions that we need to understand and appreciate.

Just to be clear here, I’m in no way trying to tell you not to feel ecstatic, hopeful or optimistic. I’m merely trying to get you to understand how complicated we are as beings. Allow your self to experience the full range of emotions more regularly and accept them.

https://www.facebook.com/YFSWellness/photos/pcb.2755390471246386/2755390157913084/?type=3&theater

Self-awareness and acceptance

Self-awareness is arguably the most important skill to learn for emotional intelligence. This should definitely be followed by acceptance. When we’re able to identify and become aware of specific emotions, it enables us to accept them.

This process is extremely liberating because it teaches us not to hold onto or force away any feelings. When we’re able to be deeply present with ourselves, we are no longer slaves to our impulses.

“Better awareness >> Better choices >> Better results”

Vulnerability and empathy

Learning how to be appropriately vulnerable will catalyze meaningful connections in your life. You’ll not only amplify your ability to be kind to yourself, but you’ll be able to do the same for others.

This involves being open and honest about how you feel. Talking about what’s bothering you or what’s not going well for you. It’s about being realistic and showing that. Being empathetic will also play an important role in vulnerability, because you would need to relate to how other people are feeling by reflecting on similar experiences.

Toxic positivity encourages the suppression of emotions and faking the fact that things are okay. Being vulnerable encourages you to accept it and then allow it to pass.

It’s okay to not be okay.

Next time you do feel a storm whirring up inside of you, take a deep breath. Allow yourself to sit through the motion and gain an understanding of how your body reacts.

Things will be really shitty at times, but things will also be really great at times and that’s part of the journey. Understand that failure is part of growth and that it’s okay to want to give up. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Just keep trying your best to learn.

Meditations

How can we follow our nature? Can we lose anything other than the present? How can we learn to accept death and make the most of our time? Why are we so bothered by other people?

I’m so excited to be talking to you about my favourite philosophy book; ‘Meditations’ by Marcus Aurelius. Despite the title of the book, it has little to do with meditation. It’s all about stoicism, which is a genre of philosophy.

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor around the period of 161 AD.

In today’s post, I’ll be talking all about death, following your nature, living in the present moment, dealing with your thoughts and being straightforward in your actions. Absolutely critical for times like this, when things seem to be falling out of control. Here are key takings from the book:

1. Discard your misperceptions
2. Limit yourself to the present
3. Anticipate your final hours

I’ll be quoting a lot directly from the book, as I won’t be able to paraphrase everything.

“The world is maintained by change. “

Human Nature

Maintaining your character is key to living a fulfilling life. Ask yourself at every moment: ‘Is this necessary?’

The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. >> Your soul takes on the colour of your thoughts. Avoid randomness. No pointless thoughts or actions. Let your thoughts be that of an unselfish person. Unconcerned with pleasure and sensual indulgence.

“If it doesn’t harm your character, how can it harm your life?”

There is an emphasis on self-control and resisting distractions within this philosophy. Not falling into temptations or desire. Being straight, not straightened. Work for proper understanding; unselfish action; truthful speech.

We have control over our perceptions. It’s inappropriate to judge things as being “good” or “evil”. Our interpretations of the objects and events are the problem. Protect your mind from error and accept what’s out of your control.

“Nowhere you can go is more peaceful – more free of interruptions- than your own soul.”

Practice virtues that you can show: Honesty, endurance, abstinence, patience, sincerity, moderation, resilience, seriousness. If it’s not right – don’t do it. If it’s not true – don’t say it.

We need to master the art of acquiescence. Pay attention to your impulses, make sure they don’t go unmoderated. Steer clear of your desires.

Get back up when you fail – celebrate behaving like a human. Stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable.

“Our own worth is determined by what we devote our energy to.”

Death

“Don’t live as if you have endless days ahead of you. Death overshadows you. While you’re alive and able – be good.”

If you do everything as if it were the last thing you ever did, you would live with so much more passion. Look at how soon we’re all forgotten. Disturbance only comes from within; the way we perceive the world.

Recognize that the difference between years from now and tomorrow is just as small. Death is inevitable. It’s the end of sense-perception, of being controlled by emotions, mental activity & enslavement to our bodies.

Why should we fear what’s bound to happen? It’s part of the flux of life. All those before you, long gone. All those to come, soon to go. Utilize the days you have to work on your character and help those around you.

Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?

“Disgraceful: For the soul to give up when the body is still going strong.”

Life is short. That’s all there is to say. Get what you can from the present – thoughtfully and justly.

Now

You can’t lose the past or the future, how could you lose what you don’t have?

Those who are alive today regardless of age, location, or race only have this present moment. A thousand more years or just one more day, what’s the difference?

The present is the same for everyone, its loss is the same. Don’t forget that.

“Change and flux constantly remake the world, just as the incessant progression of time remakes eternity.”

Be grateful for all that you have. Imagine how much you’d crave any of your blessings if they were to perish.

Short-lived creatures; long dead.

Serving Others

Everyone has a nature similar to our own. Even those who do us wrong are made of the same material. We were all born to work together, like feet, hands and eyes. We are all connected. Each of us are limbs, connected to the planet like a body.

Help others and be eager to share. How else are we meant to grow and flourish as a species? To care for all human beings is part of being human. Pride is a master of deception. To help others is to ultimately help yourself.

“What use is praise except to make your lifestyle a little more comfortable?“

The truth never harmed anyone. We harm ourselves by persisting in self-deceit and ignorance. By accepting what has been ordained unto us; that is wisdom. Don’t be ashamed to need help. Where does blaming others get you?

This book is phenomenal in helping you deal with pain and to overcome struggles. I highly recommend you give it a read for yourself, to fully absorb the wisdom behind it.

Stay present. Remember death. Serve those around you and follow your nature. This too shall pass.