How To Stop Overthinking in 3 Simple Steps

It’s definitely not simple, nor will it take just 3 straightforward steps. The concept of overthinking occurs in almost every individual I know (myself included). Some people experience it a lot more often than others. Some people experience it more intensely. Some people just can’t stop it.

It feels like an ingrained part of our adaptation, how we sometimes escape the present moment. Maybe we started doing it as little kids because we had frantic parents who constantly made us worried. Maybe we trusted people who betrayed us, which then caused us to start doubting ourselves. Maybe it’s a biological/hormonal imbalance, and we’re just naturally unable to sit still and let our minds relax.

Sunset in KSA (Jan, 2022)

Whatever the cause may be, overthinking is stressful, tiring, and emotionally taxing. It also affects our relationships, our ability to trust, and our self-esteem. We often brush it off and tell people to ‘just stop overthinking’. But as with many other psychological dynamics, we should treat it more like a physical behaviour/injury.

So, what can we do to stop overthinking or at least make it a little more bearable? Let’s find out.

1. Do not sit still
2. Speak about it instead of suppressing it
3. Utilize mechanisms to make sense of your thoughts

Do not sit still

From my own experience of overthinking, I found that the best solution is to move. Whether I’m thinking about my self-worth, whether I’m good enough, whether something terrible might happen, whether my trust will be betrayed, whether I’ll end up being embarrassed, or whether my loved ones are okay, sitting still just doesn’t help.

When I would stay in place and let my thoughts run rampant, I found that I would go deeper and deeper into my own rabbit hole. This would then impact more than just myself, as my mood would change and it would affect other people around me as well.

Safari trip in Kruger National Park (Jan, 2022)

I found that if I moved around physically by going for a walk, changing my location in the house, picking up something to do, focusing on my breath, or deciding to focus deeply on a different thought, it would make a difference. Focusing on my breath is also especially helpful because it’s simple and you can do it anywhere.

Additionally, slowing down my breath and focusing on the sensation of air coming in and out of my lungs, shifts my thought to the present moment and calms me down. This is because when you start getting anxious, you feel a tightness in your chest and your breath becomes shallow; making it worse.

Speak about it instead of suppressing it

Do you know what my favourite thing about praying is? Is that it’s a conversation between me and God. Speaking about your thoughts and what’s on your mind can be incredibly helpful. It can boost your relationship with your Creator, help you connect more deeply with friends, and it allows you to feel less alone with the weight of those thoughts.

When it comes to speaking about it to other people, there’s certainly a limit. You don’t want to feel like you’re burdening them with your worries or make them start stressing about you. You want to be vulnerable enough to show them that you trust them, and give them the space to hear you out and help.

Let it flow (Nov, 2021)

When it comes to praying, there’s practically no limit. You don’t have to worry about overreacting, over-sharing or TMI (too much info). You can vent knowing that you’re being heard. Knowing that there’s a plan in place. Knowing that everything happens for a reason and that:

“What’s meant for you will never miss you. What misses you was never meant for you.”

Make sense of your thoughts

This is arguably the toughest part. You’re always in battle with the emotional side of your brain and the logical side of your brain. So who tends to win the tug of war?

Making sense of your thoughts requires effort. Firstly, you have to actually be conscious of the thought and understand the root cause. A simple way to dissect it is by asking yourself ‘why?’ several times. It’s actually a framework used in businesses to understand the root cause of a problem. Here’s an example of how you can use it in your personal life though:

https://kanbanize.com/wp-content/uploads/website-images/kanban-resources/5-whys-analysis-root-cause.png

It can also be tiring doing this in your mind. I find it quite helpful to write in a journal. This helps me for a variety of reasons, including:

• I have to structure my thoughts more clearly when I write
• It allows me to see things from a different perspective
• It clears some of my mental bandwidth, as I’m letting it out
• I can notice trends in my thoughts or habits, which increases my self-awareness
• I can use that self-awareness to make better decisions, which will lead to better results

Lastly, what also helps with making sense of your thoughts is to spend time in nature. We can always be inspired by the natural world around us, especially when it comes to adapting and being resilient. Trees continue to push up to reach for the sunlight. Bees will never give up on their search for nectar. Birds always fly purposefully.

We too, can learn from nature and realize that everything happens for a reason. It’s going to be challenging at times, but that’s part of the journey. We can only go when we’re uncomfortable. Next time you feel like your thoughts are running a bit rampant, remember that it’s helping you understand something about yourself. Use it as fuel for growth. You got this.

Taking Life for Granted

I’ve been reflecting over my experiences lately and I’ve come to realize that we take a lot of life for granted. Whether it’s the people in our life, our health, our wealth or even the food on the table, we often find ways to get complacent and ‘expect’ it all to be there day after day.

A really close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with a very serious illness, and it was heartbreaking to hear. Not only because of the thought that I might lose him, but also because I would’ve never expected something like that to happen to ‘us’; considering how young and full of energy we are.

We’ve also been through a lot in terms of the civil unrest + the third wave of the pandemic here in South Africa. I’ll touch more on that in next week’s post.

Today’s post is going to be a familiar talk on gratitude. The emphasis, however, will be on ways to improve our daily engagements to appreciate life a little more. There are some incredibly simple steps that we can take to make a worthwhile difference. Let’s talk about observing nature, being more vulnerable, expressing our feelings, showing gratitude and appreciating ourselves.

Nature nature nature

I keep coming back to the concept of spending time in nature because I honestly think we all really underestimate the power it has on our psyche. One of the ways in which I personally make the most of my day is by spending some time surrounded by nature; whether it’s in the garden, watching the sunrise/sunset, going for a walk, listening to the birds or even just staring at the clouds.

Just like we constantly need to be connected to the internet, we need to also find ways to be connected to the planet. The more we are able to appreciate the gifts that are all around us, the less likely we will feel like we’re taking life for granted.

It sucks now that we’ve entered multiple lockdowns, we have travel restrictions, inflation and taxes are making things more expensive, we can’t really socialize or adventure as much as we used to. What can we do tho? Strengthen our relationship with nature and mindfully observe how we’re all interconnected – find ways to transcend mass consciousness.

Vulnerability and expressing our feelings

One of the ways in which we undermine our capacity to live life to the fullest is by falling short of telling people how we truly feel about them. We are not vulnerably honest enough. We keep beating around the bush, hiding our feelings and waiting for some future state of preparedness.

It’s not too late to start telling the people who mean the world to you, how much you truly love and care for them. In fact, we should make it a regular habit to do just that. We often get caught up our worldly demands, that we tend to neglect those who are closest to us.

Tell them you love them more often. SHOW them you love them more often. Stop waiting for a birthday, an anniversary, a special occasion. The more love you give to the world (and yourself), the more love will be returned to us.

Appreciating ourselves

We appreciate ourselves when we’re able to truly cherish who we are as individuals. As flawed, as weird, as imperfect as we may be, there’s still so much that we’re remarkable at. More and more, we’ve been conditioned into a very specific societal view of what ‘normal’ is meant to be. We ache to fit in and ensure we’re not outcasts; it’s part of our DNA (survival depended on us conforming to group norms).

We’ve reached a point in time tho, where we don’t need that same level of conformity. We shouldn’t have to force ourselves to change who we are, to be loved and appreciated (within certain limits, obviously). We should start appreciating our quirks and realize that it’s what makes us unique. It’s what differentiates us from the rest of the population.

You are incredibly special. You have so much to offer the world and those around you. You are loved. You are capable. And you are absolutely worth it.

Don’t lose hope and stay grateful

Energy follows focus.

It’s always about being thankful. It’s always about appreciating other people. About appreciating what we have. About focusing on our blessings.

It’s been rather chaotic over the past few months, so many different reasons. Yet, our blessings and all that we have is still immeasurable. Don’t lose hope. Don’t despair. Have faith. Trust the process. You will get through this. Faster, stronger and braver than ever before.

It may seem impossible now, but you’ll think back and be astonished at what you’ve accomplished. Take care of those around you as much as you can. Spend enough time in nature. Express your love and affection to those you care about.

“Live for the present like you’ll die tomorrow. Plan for the future like you’ll live forever.”

What You Appreciate, Appreciates

We’re now entering the final few weeks of 2020. Despite the innumerable challenges that have come our way, we’ve managed to find a way through. People have constantly complained and found reasons to focus on what they don’t have, instead of focusing more on what they do have.

I want to talk about gratitude again. It’s a recurring theme here on Memento Mori, for valid reasons. We all need reminders, constantly. Starting with myself tbh. So let’s focus on our blessings and see how that helps us finish off the year with a bang.

First thing in the morning

Here’s a reflection point: What’s the first thing you do as soon as you wake up in the morning?

I know that each and every one of you will have a completely different answer, so I just want you to think about it for yourself. Does that habit help you kick-start the day? Is it aligned with your values? Does it energize you? Does it make you feel good?

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. But try this out for at least 1 week. Focus on how blessed you are first thing in the morning.

• The roof above your head
• The comfortable bed you slept in
• The fresh air that you’re breathing
• Your body and all your functioning organs
• The opportunities that are coming your way

Most importantly, that you’re blessed to have another day. Use the chance you’ve been given to do better than you did the previous day. Keep up this mindset and you’ll start feeling a lot more content and grounded.

Throughout the day

It’s easy to start the day with a win. It’s hard to maintain that win throughout the day. Things don’t go according to plan. People frustrate us. Work starts to get stressful. Errands get annoying. There’s a lot that we can find to complain about.

An important aspect of mindfulness is being able to monitor your thoughts without attachment or judgement. When you do start to notice those thoughts creeping up, observe them, write them down, let them go.

Energy follows focus.

Change the thought pattern into something a little more beneficial. Instead of being impatient or frustrated with others, focus on how you’re benefiting them. Your sustenance could be due to your assistance to others. Thank other people as often as you can, even for the simplest of favours.

Last thing before you go to bed

To complete this wonderful cycle, focus on being grateful just before you go to bed. It’ll really ease you into sleep, especially if you struggle with falling asleep quickly. Recap the best aspects of your day and clear all the negative energy. Here are a few things to focus on:

• The meals you ate throughout the day.
• The wonderful people you interacted with.
• Your education, as well as opportunities to learn, grow and expand.
• The lessons you learned.
• Your legs for allowing you to move around. Your hands for assisting you in getting tasks done. Your eyes for helping you see the world. Your ears for helping you listen and your mouth for allowing you to communicate.

Blessed

It’s easy to focus on things that aren’t working out. It’s easy to play victim. It’s easy to lose your focus on and complain. Like I’ve always mentioned, doing what’s easy is not going to help you grow. You need to push yourself a little, each and everyday. Even if it’s just pushing limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.

The more you give the more you get.

Practice gratitude not only by focusing on what you have, but by giving what you have. You’ll notice the way that feeling spreads and ripples across everyone you encounter. We genuinely don’t have much longer. It’s time to shift our focus and stop complaining; there’s so much more to be thankful for.

In light of this topic, I’d like to thank you all for everything. For your time, for your energy, for your support. It’s thanks to you that I feel inspired to write every week and share the little knowledge that I have with the world. It truly is appreciated.

Give thanks. Spread love. Inspire joy. Stay present.

Mindful Surfing

There’s something about the ocean that’s just absolutely therapeutic. One of the best aspects of surfing is being surrounded by nature. The only thing on your mind is trying to catch the perfect wave.

This is an old pic, my long hair is still intact.

I love the moments in between waves when it’s just still. Nothing but you, the water and the breeze. Floating on the surfboard can definitely be a source of mindfulness.

Let’s explore aspects of being in the ocean, the consistency of the waves, as well as finding calmness and presence within the whole process.

The Ocean

How miraculous and marvelous? The ocean is probably one of the most powerful forces of nature. It constitutes around 71% of the planet and accounts for 97% of the water available to us. We’ve only explored around 5% of the ocean, imagine that? I think we need Tesla to move towards building advanced submarines instead of space ships.

We should definitely spend more time trying to understand what’s within our very own planet, since we take so much of it for granted.

I just want us to appreciate an integral part of our existence. For those of you who live by the coastal regions in South Africa, you understand why I’d be talking about this. We’re truly blessed, just for being able to admire God’s creation.

Let’s also talk about the immaculate consistency of the waves.

Waves

Something to do with the gravity of the moon, haha. Here’s a really dope video explaining how the rotation of Earth and the moon affect the tides and waves.

Apart from all the science, an aspect that I absolutely admire about waves are their consistency. There’s not a day that goes by without the waves pushing in and out, moving with the tide. Who are we not to follow our nature?

It always inspires me. No matter what your circumstances are, no matter how rough things may seem, you can still find a way to move forward. Even if it means making mental progress with your thought patterns.

Consistency truly is the key to mastery. There’s no place better than nature where we can learn that lesson. Have you also noticed how it can also be a source of calmness?

Calmness

The other beautiful aspect of being around nature is the calming effect it has on you. There’s just something about the ocean that makes the soul feel at ease (given you’re not stranded, in a storm or surrounded by sharks).

You’re calm when your mind isn’t distracted with anxious thoughts of the future, or worrying about the past. When your expectations are aligned with reality. When you’re able to fully embrace the present moment.

Mindfulness

When you’re paddling with all your might and trying your best to build up enough momentum, your mind is essentially clear. The only thing you’re worried about is timing your take off and avoiding a wipe out, haha.

When we’re able to mindfully enjoy being in the water, it’s another way of training our brain to stay present. Remember, if now is all we have, we need to learn to utilize it.

Feel the coldness of the water against your skin. The way your hair gets soaked and covers your face. The sand sneaking all over your skin. The adrenaline rush from actually catching a wave. These are just a few of the experiences that help us stay present.

I’d like to touch on one more incredible aspect of surfing, physics.

The physics of surfing

You may not realize it, but surfing has its fair share of scientific jargon. After all, floating on a board across a wave isn’t the simplest of things to do. Here’s a video explaining the physics behind surfing, for those of you who are interested.

I realize that I was speaking more about the ocean than anything in this post, but it’s one of the reasons why I love surfing. I’ve always been a beach bum, ever since I was a little child.

I just wanted to remind myself of how marvelous it truly is to be able to enjoy swimming in the deep unknown. It can be terrifying at times, but in the best possible way. I hope you’ve managed to gain a slightly new perspective on how epic surfing really is.

There’s so much that we can constantly learn from being in nature. Always remember to stay present.

A metaphor for life.

“You can’t control the waves, but you can learn how to surf.”

Make Stress Your Friend #2

Flight or Fight!? How often do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or relentlessly chasing deadlines as if your life depended on it? Let’s talk about why stress has low-key been the reason we’re achieving our goals and why we need to form a healthier relationship with it. I’ve talked about this before in the first post on make stress your friend.

Today, I’ll dive a little deeper and refresh our memory on this. I’ll speak about what stress is, how it’s released, why we need to manage it and how we can acquaint ourselves to it. Nature has a remarkable way of pushing evolution forward, it’s our responsibility to learn how these innate responses affect us.

What is the stress response?

The flight or fight response is part of the sympathetic nervous system’s reaction to emergencies that you experience. This is what happens when you’re being chased by a lion, have an approaching assignment deadline or feeling sickly. The subconscious response is both physical and emotional, to optimize your reaction to the given situation.

This can work for you or against you, depending on how often you’re confronted with situations that trigger this response. The neural connections formed over the past several millennia don’t adapt quickly enough to our modern-day problems. We now experience the same stress response for much simpler issues; like not getting enough likes/followers on IG, being subtweeted or even worrying about your feed, which could start getting unhealthy.

Chronic stress is when you’re repeatedly exposed to situations that trigger the release of stress hormones in your body. This can be detrimental to your health for several reasons. Let’s discuss how the body releases those hormones and why we need to manage them adequately.

How is stress released?

Once you start thinking about all those deadlines (or when you’re faced with highly stressful encounters), how does the body react?

There’s quite a complicated process that goes on in your brain, specifically within the hypothalamus. Here’s a brief overview of what happens:

• Epinephrine (adrenaline) and cortisol are released.
• Heart rate increases.
• Breathing intensifies.
• Blood sugar is released, increasing energy.
• You become much more alert and vigilant.

This process is programmed into our subconscious mind and has proven to be an invaluable evolutionary asset. But what happens when the response becomes chronic?

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/stress-response-system-vector-illustration-diagram-nerve-impulses-scheme-educational-medical-information-expressive-cartoon-110617799.jpg

Why we need to manage our levels of stress

Understanding the physiological response is critical in being able to make better decisions for your own mental well-being. The constant surge of epinephrine can become very damaging after a prolonged period of time. It damages your blood vessels and arteries, which increases your blood pressure and chances of having a heart attack/stroke.

The constant release of cortisol also increases your appetite and decreases the activity in your digestive system, since your body is using up the energy reserves. This is probably the reason why people often ‘stress-eat’ and indulge in junk food when they’re feeling overly stressed.

Thankfully, there are ways for us to combat these issues and maintain a healthy outlook on the stress response.

How can we become allies with stress?

• Acceptance
• Perspective
• Breathe
• Journal
• Exercise or go for a walk
• Speak to someone

Acceptance is always the first key when tackling a problem. Acknowledge and be honest with yourself about it. If you’re someone who tends to get stressed more than is necessary, notice the changes that happen in your body and don’t judge yourself for it. It’s part of your evolution.

The perspective you should embrace is that of kindness. Look at stress through a positive lens and that will change your outlook on it. It’s there to help you adapt, to effectively deal with changes, to energize you, to boost your body and to get you to focus. It’s also what motivates you to get off the couch and get some work done.

Breathe. This is honestly one of the best ways to calm your body down. Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed or anxious, focus on taking in deep conscious breaths to the bottom of your abdomen. Don’t underestimate how effective this simple technique is. It will help ground you.

Here I am speaking about journalling yet again, what a surprise… It serves as an incredible outlet for you to let out emotions and clear your mind. This will help you assess the problem much more realistically and will reduce the chances of you lashing it out on others.

Exercise or go for a walk – preferably in nature. Sometimes a healthy distraction is all you need to get a grip on your thought patterns. Releasing the energy through physical exertion will certainly help calm your mind and body. Going for a walk in nature is particularly useful to gain a more philosophical outlook on the problem(s) at hand.

The last recommendation is to simply speak to someone. If you have someone that you can confide in and discuss your issues with, raise it up with them. Be wary of the energy you bring to the table, you don’t want to make them feel overwhelmed either. A great approach is to ask:

“Are you in the right emotional state to listen to what’s been stressing me out?”

Don’t bottle things up, just be considerate to others. If you’re struggling with chronic stress and feel like it might burden those you care about, consider therapy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. You’re just speaking to someone who can guide your thought patterns into something a little healthier.

I know stress is not easy to manage and it can become very overwhelming when you have several responsibilities. Keep in mind that this is all part of your journey and that it’s all contributing to your growth. Focus on having a growth mindset, find tactics to keep you grounded and always remember to breathe. Stay present, you got this.

Mindful Monday #5

How have you been dealing with all the chaos that’s unfolding in the world?

I’ve been watching the sunrise meticulously since the pandemic has started, which has inspired me to talk about mindfulness and philosophy again. Today I’ll talk about something rather important; discrimination and how to uncover our subconscious biases. First, let’s talk some nature.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but have you ever truly pondered over how consistent the sun is? There’s not a single day that it fails to rise and set, from the exact same location. This may seem trivial to us, only because we’re so used to it. But it really is a miraculous sighting.

I’ve also been able to watch the birds a little more lately. It just astonishes me how they live so purposefully. Like they know exactly what they’re meant to be doing. The patterns in which they fly, the food that they find, the nests that they create, the churping every morning. It’s all so planned, so detailed, so focused.

We think of ourselves as being superior to animals such as birds, but look at how unfocused and bored we tend to be.

I reckon we should try and learn more from the birds and bees. To live in the present moment with conviction and purpose whilst following our values.

One of the ways in which I love to bring myself to the present is by focusing on flowers. By truly observing the shape, the texture, the colour, the scent, everything about it.

Okay now that we’ve explored a bit of mindfulness, let’s dive into something a little deeper, that also requires us to be mindful.

Discrimination

Another very relevant topic to speak about is the concept of racism and discrimination. There’s so much going on from a social media point of view that it may often leave us stifled. It’s not easy to be constantly bombarded with negative news.

So how do we find a balance between having uncomfortable conversations that lead to growth, engaging in the revolution and still look after our mental health?

Personally speaking, it often starts with purpose. When we’re aware of why we do what we do, we can be a lot more intentional. We need to understand why equity is important and what we can do to improve as a society, especially with regards to inclusivity.

We need to understand why the system favours a certain race. We need to understand more. This can only be done through education.

The three activities that I’ve actively engaged in include; reading, journalling and having discussions. These are probably the most effective tools that allow me to learn and improve rapidly. To find flaws in my way of thinking and to unlearn the negative conditioning.

Reading books by black authors, using prompt questions when journalling and actively speaking to people who are willing to share their experiences.

The thing with racism is that we’re taught it. It’s not a natural feeling. It’s not part of your genes. It’s a mindset carried down through generations, deeply influenced by society and the media. We need to treat people based on their character and conduct, things that they themselves can control.

I just thought I’d have a brief moment of reflection this Mindful Monday. We’re going through quite a revolutionary time. We are the future. We are responsible for the energy we bring into the world. It’s time to rise above the injustice and learn from history.

How much longer does life have to keep teaching us the same lessons?

Nature

Do you also miss spending time surrounded by trees? When last were you able to go on a hike without strange constraints? How calming are sunset missions?

We never seem to realize how intrinsically connected we are to nature. It’s marvelous how the better we treat our own health, the better it usually is for the environment.

This post will be a showcase of some of my time spent outdoors, focusing on the most beautiful aspects of nature.

I want to emphasize how important it is to spend more time surrounded by trees and the natural world, as it subconsciously reminds us of how temporary our life truly is.

This may not be entirely feasible right now, but try to watch the sunrise or sunset if you can. Focus on the plants in your garden. Stare out the window and ponder over the clouds. Immerse yourself in the present moment.

“The oak tree or the eagle would be bemused by such a question. “What time?” they would ask. “Well, of course, it’s now. The time is now. What else is there?”

― Eckhart Tolle

Ants, birds, bees and trees all focus on the task at hand. To grow and thrive, regardless of the circumstances. To adapt to the unexpected, to embrace change and chaos. We too should follow our nature and strive to be the best we possibly can – whatever that means to us.

I’ll show some pics from Kirstenbosch, food places, some insects and other random places. I hope this brings you as much joy as brought me.

Kirstenbosch

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Foodie

Random places

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Bugz

“So you where born to feel
“nice”? Instead of doing things and experiencing them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?”

-Marcus Aurelius

Can you spot the bee?

Embrace uncertainty.

We’re absolutely blessed. When you spend time admiring nature and what God has created, it brings a sense of peace to your soul. You understand that things weren’t created randomly. We’re all here for a purpose. Let’s make the most of it.

“The world is nothing but change. Our life is only perception.”

Dolphins enjoying the sunrise

Thinking Out Loud ~ 4

Another post where I’m just sharing the chatter that often stays in my mind. A few topics that I’ll dive into are: Art, Beauty and Change! Ahh, the only constant in life. Excited to get the ball rolling with this one, let’s learn some ABC!

I’ll share pics from the my adventures as I’ve done with the previous posts in this series.

Art

Is in the eye of the beholder. Define art, I dare you. Haha, the thing is, it’s always left up to the individual’s perception. Kind of like taste. There’s no certainty in what tastes good or bad, it all depends on the person and their experiences.

Just as our views and opinions evolve with time and experience, so do our senses. The moment we become conscious of how readily our perceptions change, the more easily we’ll become lovers of life.

I like the idea of art being related to contentment. When we’re truly able to be mindful of how certain things affect us, and be grateful for that feeling; I’d say that’s experiencing art.

Art doesn’t necessarily have to be a painting or a sculpture, it can be anything that allows you to feel connected to the world.

The sky is art. It’s different each and every day. Just like you, you’re different every day. The weather also makes us feel a certain way. Good or bad? That doesn’t matter. When it’s out of your control, learn to accept it.

The way we connect to the world is with our feelings. And feelings influence our thought patterns, which subsequently drive our behaviours! Or is it the other way around? Do our thought patterns affect our feelings?

It’s definitely all intertwined. Acknowledging that our thoughts, emotions and behaviours all affect each other, can help us understand ourselves better.

After all, we are art. Cultivated by the Creator.

The cognitive triangle!

Ahh, we’re getting somewhere with this. I’d like to touch on beauty while we’re here.

Beauty

Let me make you cringe a little (Although you’d probably love to read it anyway).

BeYOUtiful. You are beautiful. You look beautiful. You are art.

Is there a difference between being beautiful and looking beautiful? Absolutely! One is complimenting an appearance, the other is complimenting a character.

You know what’s an impeccable piece of art in my opinion? Developing your character.

Appearances are temporary, futile and lustful. Definitely something important and should be genuinely appreciated, but not the main plot of the story. Who we are, what defines us, our purpose, our contribution, our legacy. That should be our main focus.

We need to still be comfortable in our own skin. So I’m trying to find the balance between being and looking beautiful.

I’m kind of leaning towards how we should each strive to be beautiful human beings. We’re all beautiful in a physical sense. We’re all created from the same soil, the same source. We need to internalize that connection and appreciate the beauty in our differences.

But what about our spirit? We need to be ourselves.

To be yourself, you need to understand who you are! Through unfolding our turbulent childhoods, we can decipher where our belief systems came from, and see how our perceptions were formed. It’s more often than not, due to a younger version of ourselves coming to a silly conclusion about the world.

In essence, I’m encouraging journalling again, haha. Why? Because it allows you to see yourself for who you truly are, and appreciate the beauty that is your journey. To understand your own nature and beauty.

You’re not static. You’re constantly evolving. Stop holding onto false egotistical beliefs. Change the inner narrative. You’re not your circumstances, you’re more than that.

In the purest sense, you’re beautiful. You should measure that by your soul and character, not just your appearance.

Change

I love talking about change, considering how it’s one of the most consistent aspects of life. You’re not the same person you were a few minutes ago. How come? Because your physiology literally changes all the time, that includes your brain. Neuro-plasticity!

Change is inevitable, resistance is futile.

Now, what I really want to dig into, is the change we choose to suffer. We tend to associate certain changes with negativity, for various reasons. Sometimes the change is our fault and can be genuinely harmful, most of the time however, we suffer from change that is not really in our control.

When people say things like: “You’ve changed so much! You’re not the same… ”

We often associate that with faults, or that there’s something wrong with changing. We should rather embrace it and be content with our change. Of course we’re meant to be different if we’re growing and maturing. What use is it being the same?

I’m just trying to encourage one thing here, embrace change. Understand that you need to experience discomfort and non-ideal situations, to actually grow. To actually learn. To actually make a difference.

Imagine if everyone stayed the same or lived within the same conditions, how static would the world be?

This is just something that I enjoyed sharing and I hope certain aspects of it did resonate with you. Art- Appreciation. Beauty- Be yourself. Change- Certain. These quick reminders help me find meaning in the day to day struggles.

“Nobody cares about how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

So keep showing people that you care. Be grateful. Be strong. Be you. You’re everything you’re meant to be and more.

Thinking out loud ~3

Let’s talk a little about seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, love and kindness. Relationships, roots and a bit of mother nature. I’m attempting a more poetic approach with the thinking out loud series, also allowing the pictures I take to speak with me.

It’s our own idea of good and bad, that truly carries meaning with us. If we can dissociate from those ideas, we’ll have much more freedom. That is: seeking pleasure makes us feel good, whereas enduring pain makes us feel bad.

Life is meant to be both pleasing and painful, for without silence there can be no sound. Without darkness, there can be no light.

The nature of the flower is to give, the nature of the bug is to receive. Follow your nature. Give and receive in abundance.

“The ultimate value of personal growth work is not to feel better about ourselves but to contribute to how those around us feel about themselves.“

In unity there is strength, like the roots of trees. There’s a fascinating podcast that I listened to the other day, which spoke on the reasons why certain trees and forests survive extreme conditions. From snowy storms to hurricanes and tornadoes, how do forests still make it?

It turns out, there’s an entire network beyond our vision, allowing this to be possible. The roots of trees are known to dig deep into the earth and find multiples sources of nutrition. These roots also connect with neighbouring trees and plants, forming immaculate networks.

These networks allow trees to ‘communicate’ and to assist each other whenever needed. I found this absolutely inspiring, considering how important it is for us to stay and work together.

In unity there is strength.

The support and love we can provide to each other, will also allow us to withstand all conditions. As social beings, we’ve evolved to rely on each other. Not just for our basic needs, but for intuitive, emotional and intellectual stimulation.

Fostering healthy relationships however, is not just something you can do by liking pictures or retweeting posts. It’s an investment. You have to put in time and energy, in order for it to grow into something profitable. Profitable in the sense where you find meaning and service, within something greater than yourself.

Take time to check on your friends, your family members, all those you care about. Love is about action, consistency, and how we make others feel. It’s the amount of attention we’re willing to pay.

Spend time to reflect on the people you spend time with. The way you treat the people you love. The way you treat yourself. Your actions, behaviours and intentions. We need to spend more time consciously living. Being present with the world around us.

Spending time in nature is good for your mental health. It’s science, I kid you not. Going for walks also allows your thoughts and values to incubate. You need to make time to let your mind wander and truly internalize your purpose.

To love, also means to let go. For if we constantly keep others under our shade, that could also lead to stunting their growth. People enter and leave our lives, like the leaves flowing down a stream. Nothing to be judgmental about, it’s part of nature’s flow.

Here are few quotes about love from a book I’ve recently read called ‘The Prophet’ by Kahlil Gibran.

“Even as love ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.”

“Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed. For love is sufficient unto love.”

Considering the shortness of our life span, the chaos of this world, and the lack of our true empathy; we should all strive to love more. Start from within, learn to love yourself more, form a healthy relationship with yourself. Then watch your relationships start to flourish.

For when you’ve sufficiently filled your cup, you can receive and give without worrying about that cup ever emptying out.

The grass is always greener on the other side, but if you look closely enough, your grass is just as green as it’s meant to be. Focus on what you have; be grateful, be content, be adaptable. As with the changing of the seasons, our leaves may have to fall to allow the tree to prosper; only for them to re-grow in due time. Everything is cyclic, so are we.

We were crafted from this earth & to it we shall return.

“Those with a giving mindset take some comfort knowing that even though they didn’t get exactly what they wanted, they helped someone else get exactly what they wanted.“

[All pics were taken on adventure missions]

Thinking out loud ~ 2

Appreciation. Nature. Stillness. Presence.

Something that I find incredibly valuable, is noticing how unique the sky looks; Every. Single. Day. Just take a moment every morning to notice the patterns and formations taken by the clouds. It’ll never be the same.

I think being present amplifies your ability to learn. When we’re fully engaged in a single activity and give it our undivided attention, we’ll notice and take into account the most minute of details. This allows us to build on our muscle memory a lot quicker.

So how do we stay present? My first suggestion would be to acknowledge what a chatter box our ‘monkey mind’ is. We’re constantly evaluating ourselves and other people, which pulls us out of the now. By sifting through all these different perspectives in our minds, it leads to distraction. Do you want to know what works as jet fuel for distraction?

Social media.

This might be obvious and I’m certain there’ll be varying opinions on this. But you can’t deny the fact that, spending excessive amount of time on platforms that have infinite scroll feeds, will damage your concentration and capacity to learn rapidly. There’s no learning without remembering. Remembering also requires us to pay proper attention, for efficient storage of memories.

Your mind is one of your most valuable assets. There’s definitely a reason why there are systems in place, trying hard to take control over it. The more time you spend unconsciously scrolling through posts or binge-watching, the more you’re allowing others to influence your mindset.

All I’m saying is, make sure you use social media consciously. You can get trapped very swiftly. Moving onto something that positively affects your mind.

Sunsets. Trees. Butterflies.

I talk about plants and my love for trees a lot to my friends, because I feel like I gain wisdom when walking through forests. Because of their resilience and ability to adapt, it’s inspiring to be around that kind of energy. Following your nature and doing what’s required of you each and everyday. No randomness, no distraction. Everything in moderation.

Sunsets bring joy to my soul. There’s no other way to describe it. Sitting in sea point watching the waves crash over the rocks, with the pastel colours of the departing sun across the horizon. I try and learn from those experiences too. No matter what happens, the sun still sets and rises at the same place. It shows up. It follows its nature.

The waves of the ocean? Exactly the same thing. Resilience, consistency, perseverance. It brings serenity and calmness to the mind and body too. I have a hypothesis as to why. When we’re observing nature, the energy is pure and cyclic. The world follows a certain path, we just need to understand the inevitable temporariness of it all.

That leaves us with mindfulness and gratitude. What better way to live, than in the moment with utmost contentment?

Just wanted this to be another quick reminder, on how valuable it is to protect your mind & values. Take in deeper breaths, open your eyes a little wider and always remember to smile a lot brighter. Notice the small details and be grateful to have yet another day.

[Took all these pics on different nature-appreciation missions :)]