Mindful Monday #5

How have you been dealing with all the chaos that’s unfolding in the world?

I’ve been watching the sunrise meticulously since the pandemic has started, which has inspired me to talk about mindfulness and philosophy again. Today I’ll talk about something rather important; discrimination and how to uncover our subconscious biases. First, let’s talk some nature.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but have you ever truly pondered over how consistent the sun is? There’s not a single day that it fails to rise and set, from the exact same location. This may seem trivial to us, only because we’re so used to it. But it really is a miraculous sighting.

I’ve also been able to watch the birds a little more lately. It just astonishes me how they live so purposefully. Like they know exactly what they’re meant to be doing. The patterns in which they fly, the food that they find, the nests that they create, the churping every morning. It’s all so planned, so detailed, so focused.

We think of ourselves as being superior to animals such as birds, but look at how unfocused and bored we tend to be.

I reckon we should try and learn more from the birds and bees. To live in the present moment with conviction and purpose whilst following our values.

One of the ways in which I love to bring myself to the present is by focusing on flowers. By truly observing the shape, the texture, the colour, the scent, everything about it.

Okay now that we’ve explored a bit of mindfulness, let’s dive into something a little deeper, that also requires us to be mindful.

Discrimination

Another very relevant topic to speak about is the concept of racism and discrimination. There’s so much going on from a social media point of view that it may often leave us stifled. It’s not easy to be constantly bombarded with negative news.

So how do we find a balance between having uncomfortable conversations that lead to growth, engaging in the revolution and still look after our mental health?

Personally speaking, it often starts with purpose. When we’re aware of why we do what we do, we can be a lot more intentional. We need to understand why equity is important and what we can do to improve as a society, especially with regards to inclusivity.

We need to understand why the system favours a certain race. We need to understand more. This can only be done through education.

The three activities that I’ve actively engaged in include; reading, journalling and having discussions. These are probably the most effective tools that allow me to learn and improve rapidly. To find flaws in my way of thinking and to unlearn the negative conditioning.

Reading books by black authors, using prompt questions when journalling and actively speaking to people who are willing to share their experiences.

The thing with racism is that we’re taught it. It’s not a natural feeling. It’s not part of your genes. It’s a mindset carried down through generations, deeply influenced by society and the media. We need to treat people based on their character and conduct, things that they themselves can control.

I just thought I’d have a brief moment of reflection this Mindful Monday. We’re going through quite a revolutionary time. We are the future. We are responsible for the energy we bring into the world. It’s time to rise above the injustice and learn from history.

How much longer does life have to keep teaching us the same lessons?

Mindful Monday #4

Do you want to find peace of mind and learn how to deal with disappointments?

I hope by now the practice of mindfulness is becoming an ingrained aspect of your life. I’ll keep talking about the different ways in which I calibrate my mind to stay present and the thought processes that help me get going.

In today’s post, I’ll run you through certain aspects of our thinking that we should try and take control of. This includes dealing with expectations, disappointment, hope and forgiveness.

Make sure your life vest is strapped on, it’s about to get deep.

Expectations

It’s almost impossible not to have expectations. It’s an evolutionary advantage to some extent. The key then, is to be conscious of those expectations and understand when they might be flawed.

Whether you agree with me or not, you’re constantly expecting certain things to happen. When you’re hungry, you expect yourself to get food. When you’re tired, you expect yourself to get some rest. When you’re out with your friends, you expect yourself to have a great time.

Issues arise when our expectations don’t coincide with reality.

More often than not, that’s exactly what happens. The food we ordered didn’t taste as lekker as we thought it would. We couldn’t fall asleep because our minds were restless. We didn’t enjoy our outing with friends because of complicated dynamics.

Our projection of reality is a direct reflection of what’s going on inside of us. The more we’re able to accept the fact that life is unpredictable, the better we’re able to expect more realistically.

Why then, do we get disappointed so often?

Disappointments

When our minds aren’t calibrated to the way reality functions, we constantly expect outcomes that aren’t feasible. I’m not saying don’t be a dreamer or don’t have ambitions beyond your current limitations. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t allow yourself to fall prey to the mind’s illusion.

Disappointments are essentially a result of our expectations not being met. That is completely in your control. Who else made you expect that?

It’s infuriating yet absolutely liberating. We have control over our thoughts (to a certain degree). We therefore have control over our expectations. Which ultimately means, we are in control over our disappointments.

The more we expect, the more false hope we have, the more we’re disappointed. We need to constantly bring ourselves back to the present.

Hope

What is life without hope? Despair and despondency are satan’s allies.

When life gives you lemons, you squeeze the hell out of them and make something delicious. Then, you take the seeds and plant more lemon trees, giving you more lemons to squeeze. Thanks life.

Our minds are like gardens. Every thought is a seed that will eventually bloom. When we plant seeds of hope and positivity, it results in a plethora of beautiful flowers. Hope gives us something to look forward to.

As always, we need to acknowledge the fact that now is all we have. The way to utilize hope is to take action now. Be conscious of the seeds that are being planted in your garden and put in the effort to remove thoughts which aren’t serving you.

Hope is just another form of expectation. It must therefore be realistic for it to serve you.

Do you want to know how to remove weeds from infecting your mind’s garden? Through forgiveness.

Forgiveness

Possibly one of the best things you can do for yourself. It’s a concept that absolutely develops your characters and allows you to become a beacon of mercy. When we’re able to forgive others, regardless of all the wrong they’ve done to us, our gardens start to flourish.

This is not to say that we should ignore those faults and allow people to step over us. But let go of the mental baggage. Let go of resentment. Let go of the hate, envy, grudges and toxicity.

The mental clarity and relief you obtain from forgiving others is like no other. 

Keep in mind that forgiving yourself is just as crucial. You need to accept the mistakes you make – you’re only human after all. Love yourself by being kind enough to forgive yourself. Make a definitive plan to move forward and learn from where you’ve messed up.

By now, you should see the point I’m trying to make. Most us don’t take time out to mow the lawn or get rid of alien plants. It’s up to us to take charge of our mental garden and look after it. The thoughts we have directly influence our behaviour. Our behaviour ultimately influences our mood and emotional state. This cycles back to our thoughts.

By being realistic in your expectations and understanding that life is full of disappointments, you should find solace in maneuvering through your thoughts. Hope and forgiveness are key aspects of acceptance, don’t let go of them.

Mindful Monday #2

There seems to be a lot going on in the world right now. In light of all the uncertainty, let’s remember to be mindful. In this session of Mindful Monday, I’ll talk about emotional awareness, your responsibility, exposure to information and gratitude.

I’d like to share an intriguing thought I had over the weekend. The planet is healing. Yes, the situation we’re currently in is daunting and frightening. However, there are always blessings hiding within the curses. Greenhouse gas emissions, air pollution and waste dumping have all been significantly reduced.

Hmm, also randomly started thinking about The Great Depression and the 1918 flu. Quite a circular process.

We should take some time to reflect, to learn, to grow and to empathize with the world around us. Be wary of toxic productivity, understand your boundaries and focus on your blessings. Let’s relate this to Covid-19.

Emotional awareness

There’s a lot of panic, anxiety and stress amidst the chaos that’s unfolding. We need to be aware of how our emotions are unfolding. It’s critical to stay level-headed and find ‘healthy’ coping mechanisms with our circumstances.

Don’t fall prey to other people panicking. Don’t spread misinformation or be a reason for other people to panic. Watch out for fake news. Don’t be guided by fear. Stay aware of your emotional state and accept it.

It’s okay to feel worried. It’s okay to feel nervous. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Try to be nonjudgmental towards yourself and those around you. The more you’re able to understand what you’re going through, the better equipped you’ll be to help others.

Your responsibility

As it stands, there is no cure for the pandemic. All we can do is try to reduce its impact. That means we need to take responsibility for our hygiene, social distancing and reducing stigma.

Social distancing is one of the most effective ways of containing a pandemic. By reducing the amount of people you’re exposed to, you decrease your chances of being affected or affecting others. It’s critical to maintain high levels of sanitation and hygiene at this point, to ensure you eliminate any sources of contamination.

Stigma always seems to be the elephant in the room. We all know it exists, yet we tend to ignore it. It’s absolutely crucial that we remain supportive and kind to everyone, especially to those who are infected or prone to being sick.

Start taking this seriously and act now. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Here’s a link to an incredible article interpreting the data and talking about your role in helping to deal with the covid-19 outbreak: https://medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca

Exposure to information

We’re living in a hyper-connected age where we’re exposed to more information in 24 hours, than people did in their entire lives around 25 years ago.

Keeping that in mind, we need to be conscious of the news we expose ourselves to. We might not immediately realize it, but after scrolling and reading a few articles our entire mood can change.

Ask yourself how much information you really need to move forward with this. We need to constantly stay up-to date, but within reasonable boundaries. Stay mindful of what your subconscious is absorbing, there’s always a lot to be thankful for.

Gratitude

The best way to deal with negativity is to focus on what is going well. It’s not always easy to shift into that frame of mind, but once you do, nothing can pull you down.

Most of us still have eyes to see, a mind to comprehend with, an eagerness to learn, a loving family, wonderful friends, food to eat and a place to stay.

Think about that more. Show your love and affection to your friends and family. (Virtually of course) Be thankful and be a source of positivity to the world around you.

It’s not easy, I know. We’ll get through this. We’ll look back at how insane things were and smile, knowing we were tough enough to survive. We’ll talk about this to our children and grandchildren one day.

Don’t lose hope. Stay mindful of what’s going on within you. Take in deep breaths and smile. Now is all you have, make the most of it.