Aspire to Inspire

It’s been a while since I last posted. Nearly 4 months actually… I kind of forgot about the reason why I started blogging. It felt like I lost my mojo.

There was a bit of a revival last week though, when I attended a family reunion and then also spent a few days in Drakensberg, Alhamdulillah. I actually had some time to reflect, which has been occurring less recently due to being caught up in the rat race.

Back to the point, people started asking me what happened to my blog. That’s when I started asking myself… WHY did I even have a blog? It didn’t take too long for me to realize that it was because I had an urge to share beneficial insights and nuggets of wisdom with the world.

Aspire to Inspire was the motto.

This moment is an instant that will pass by like a droplet in the stream.

I also started understanding how the blogging had an impact on me, personally. The topics and concepts I’d write about would become more ingrained in my own mind, which helped me practice them more. I basically needed to write these posts to help me become a better person.

So I’m back now and I’m ready to get cracking. I’m not going to take the usual approach and give long, detailed unsolicited advice. I’m just going to share what’s on my mind (which is likely to be unsolicited advice, haha).

Service

There’s a part of me that has been feeling a bit anxious as of late. I can’t seem to pinpoint exactly what it is, but I suspect it has to do with not living up to my own values. There’s a part of me that feels like I need to do more to serve the world around me.

Fulfilment does not come from pursuing selfish needs (for most of us). It’s temporary satisfaction, but there is an underlying emptiness that comes with it. I definitely start to feel a bit out of place in my life when I’m not serving a cause greater than myself. I’ve started to realize more and more that it’s crucial to find a way to give back.

I need to stop being selfish with my time, energy and resources. I can and will do more to help those around me, inshaAllah.

You can only fill your own cup up to a certain point.

Gratitude

It’s always about being thankful. It’s been ordained onto us by God, and for a specific reason. We are blessed beyond comprehension. The problem? We don’t comprehend enough. If we take 1 minute out of our day to reflect on how much we have, we’ll be impressed. Maybe we’ll even start feeling guilty.

Good. Then it’s time to give more.

I need to stop hoarding, buying, collecting and storing for no real reason. I need to be more thankful, appreciative, and grateful for what I have.

I’ll clear out my wardrobe for clothes that I haven’t worn in the past 6-12 months (even if it’s brand new), give away leftover food more often, and make sure that at the bare minimum, I smile more often!

You have eyes to see? Truly blessed.

Mindfulness

Our minds are powerful. We have so much potential to grow, develop and contribute. It starts with discipline, having control over our thoughts and impulses. Mindfulness is there in everything we do. In Islam, it’s part of our prayers. It’s been there long before the term itself even existed.

When we pray, we are narrowing our thoughts to the One who created thought itself. To the One who controls everything in existence. Reflecting on God and praying is the ultimate form of being mindful.

I doubt birds stress too much about tomorrow or yesterday, since it doesn’t exist.

I started looking at mindfulness through the wrong lens. It shouldn’t have been about being more efficient or getting more done. It is about understanding and reflecting on purpose. Meditating on life, death and the beauty that encompasses it all. It’s about being alive to the present moment, so I can appreciate the shortness of life, with a focus on the hereafter.

After not blogging for a while, I feel energized writing this post. It’s a way for me to inspire myself, so that I can live in a way that’s more aligned to my true values and purpose. In that, I hope to inspire others to pursue their own journey and live to their full potential.

Just keep trying your best. You got this.

How To Stop Overthinking in 3 Simple Steps

It’s definitely not simple, nor will it take just 3 straightforward steps. The concept of overthinking occurs in almost every individual I know (myself included). Some people experience it a lot more often than others. Some people experience it more intensely. Some people just can’t stop it.

It feels like an ingrained part of our adaptation, how we sometimes escape the present moment. Maybe we started doing it as little kids because we had frantic parents who constantly made us worried. Maybe we trusted people who betrayed us, which then caused us to start doubting ourselves. Maybe it’s a biological/hormonal imbalance, and we’re just naturally unable to sit still and let our minds relax.

Sunset in KSA (Jan, 2022)

Whatever the cause may be, overthinking is stressful, tiring, and emotionally taxing. It also affects our relationships, our ability to trust, and our self-esteem. We often brush it off and tell people to ‘just stop overthinking’. But as with many other psychological dynamics, we should treat it more like a physical behaviour/injury.

So, what can we do to stop overthinking or at least make it a little more bearable? Let’s find out.

1. Do not sit still
2. Speak about it instead of suppressing it
3. Utilize mechanisms to make sense of your thoughts

Do not sit still

From my own experience of overthinking, I found that the best solution is to move. Whether I’m thinking about my self-worth, whether I’m good enough, whether something terrible might happen, whether my trust will be betrayed, whether I’ll end up being embarrassed, or whether my loved ones are okay, sitting still just doesn’t help.

When I would stay in place and let my thoughts run rampant, I found that I would go deeper and deeper into my own rabbit hole. This would then impact more than just myself, as my mood would change and it would affect other people around me as well.

Safari trip in Kruger National Park (Jan, 2022)

I found that if I moved around physically by going for a walk, changing my location in the house, picking up something to do, focusing on my breath, or deciding to focus deeply on a different thought, it would make a difference. Focusing on my breath is also especially helpful because it’s simple and you can do it anywhere.

Additionally, slowing down my breath and focusing on the sensation of air coming in and out of my lungs, shifts my thought to the present moment and calms me down. This is because when you start getting anxious, you feel a tightness in your chest and your breath becomes shallow; making it worse.

Speak about it instead of suppressing it

Do you know what my favourite thing about praying is? Is that it’s a conversation between me and God. Speaking about your thoughts and what’s on your mind can be incredibly helpful. It can boost your relationship with your Creator, help you connect more deeply with friends, and it allows you to feel less alone with the weight of those thoughts.

When it comes to speaking about it to other people, there’s certainly a limit. You don’t want to feel like you’re burdening them with your worries or make them start stressing about you. You want to be vulnerable enough to show them that you trust them, and give them the space to hear you out and help.

Let it flow (Nov, 2021)

When it comes to praying, there’s practically no limit. You don’t have to worry about overreacting, over-sharing or TMI (too much info). You can vent knowing that you’re being heard. Knowing that there’s a plan in place. Knowing that everything happens for a reason and that:

“What’s meant for you will never miss you. What misses you was never meant for you.”

Make sense of your thoughts

This is arguably the toughest part. You’re always in battle with the emotional side of your brain and the logical side of your brain. So who tends to win the tug of war?

Making sense of your thoughts requires effort. Firstly, you have to actually be conscious of the thought and understand the root cause. A simple way to dissect it is by asking yourself ‘why?’ several times. It’s actually a framework used in businesses to understand the root cause of a problem. Here’s an example of how you can use it in your personal life though:

https://kanbanize.com/wp-content/uploads/website-images/kanban-resources/5-whys-analysis-root-cause.png

It can also be tiring doing this in your mind. I find it quite helpful to write in a journal. This helps me for a variety of reasons, including:

• I have to structure my thoughts more clearly when I write
• It allows me to see things from a different perspective
• It clears some of my mental bandwidth, as I’m letting it out
• I can notice trends in my thoughts or habits, which increases my self-awareness
• I can use that self-awareness to make better decisions, which will lead to better results

Lastly, what also helps with making sense of your thoughts is to spend time in nature. We can always be inspired by the natural world around us, especially when it comes to adapting and being resilient. Trees continue to push up to reach for the sunlight. Bees will never give up on their search for nectar. Birds always fly purposefully.

We too, can learn from nature and realize that everything happens for a reason. It’s going to be challenging at times, but that’s part of the journey. We can only go when we’re uncomfortable. Next time you feel like your thoughts are running a bit rampant, remember that it’s helping you understand something about yourself. Use it as fuel for growth. You got this.

The Art of Silence

…

How often are you able to sit comfortably in silence with other people? Do you find that you struggle to sit in silence with yourself? Do you constantly need to have some kind of noise to keep you distracted?

We live in an era where there is more noise than ever before. The appropriate term to use would be pollution. It’s excessive, it’s everywhere and it’s addicting. But what exactly do I mean by noise? I mean constantly being occupied with something to do. Whether it be social media, watching YouTube, constantly talking or even just reading the news. We struggle to sit in silence.

In today’s post, I’d like to talk about why silence is so important, why it’s so difficult to do, and how we can learn to become more comfortable sitting in silence. This will not only be valuable for ourselves, but it also allows us to bond more intimately with other people in our life.

Why is silence important?

Some of the immediate benefits that come to my mind include:

• Silence can create mental space
• It allows you to develop self-awareness and reflect
• It can foster creativity and problem-solving
• It aids in relaxation

But how come there are so many benefits that we just don’t seem to acknowledge? It’s probably because we don’t sit in silence enough. Silence can create mental space because when we’re sitting by ourselves (or potentially with someone else) and not speaking, we free up some mental bandwidth that can be used for other purposes.

This links directly to the next point on reflection and inducing self-awareness. Naturally, when we have free time and just stare out the window, for example, our minds tend to reflect on where we are currently. This is incredibly useful when we nudge it in the right direction, as it can help us look back at certain experiences and gain wisdom, or look forward at tasks ahead and find effective ways to tackle them.

The next benefit of silence involves creativity and problem-solving. We often do a lot of subconscious processing when we’re not engaged in an activity, which gives our brain the capacity to think freely and outside of the box. This then allows us to develop certain solutions and innovate beyond what we typically can amidst chatter and noise.

The last point I want to make is a little obvious. Silence aids in relaxation. When we sit in a quiet environment and remain quiet ourselves, it often has a calming effect. This might not necessarily be the case when you’re overthinking or are feeling uncomfortable in the first place. But it definitely does help you stay level-headed and make better sense of what’s going on, which can then relax you.

Why is it so difficult to stay quiet?

As I’ve mentioned already, being quiet is actually a lot harder in this day and age. Firstly, when it comes to personality types, we’ve romanticized the concept of being an extrovert. We consider people who are introverted or shy as being less competent or capable for some reason. I’ll dive into that another day, but a great book recommendation is ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cane.

Secondly, we now have more access than ever before to actually raise our voices (especially digitally). We can constantly gossip, chat, share information, tweet, write blogs, make videos, and create short stories. Social media has essentially created a world of constant ‘noise’.

Lastly, it’s because we’re uncomfortable sitting with our own thoughts. We’re not necessarily conscious of it, but we always find a way to get out of our minds. There are many reasons for that, but it’s definitely something we need to get acquainted with. After all, the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our life. We’re naturally anxious beings and tend to overthink all the time.

So how do we move forward knowing that it’s quite difficult to stay quiet or sit in silence?

How can we become more comfortable with silence?

We first need to re-frame our thinking around silence, quiet and solitude. It’s not a ‘waste of time’ to let your mind occasionally wander, or to sit down in meditation. It all has real implications on your mental health and your ability to think deeply about problems. So we need to really understand the benefits that come about when we do spend time alone or in silence.

The next thing would be to start small and try it out. When you have a free moment or you’re waiting in a queue, don’t just reach out for your phone and numb your brain. Be mindful of the thoughts that pop in and notice what you start thinking about. You can also allocate specific time (maybe in the morning before you start the day or in the evening before bed) to just sit in quiet.

It can also be helpful to try this with another person that you spend a lot of time with (like a roommate, sibling, or spouse). Sit together without unnecessarily trying to fill in the quiet gaps and notice how you both respond. You might find it to be a strange bonding experience.

Lastly, keep track of the thoughts and ideas that come about in a journal. When you start taking note of your thought process, you get an idea of whether or not you’re in a healthy mental space. Obviously, this will depend on what you write down and your mood at that given point, but if you’re honest with yourself and practise consistently, it will allow you to make sense of your mind and could help you be more comfortable with yourself.

The point I’m trying to make in this post is that there’s a lot of benefit to just being quiet. We all have some form of resistance to sitting in silence, which is not necessarily healthy. It keeps us on our toes and itching to find a distraction or ‘noise’. When we practice sitting in solitude and get more comfortable with our thoughts, we’ll ultimately help ourselves get to a healthier mental space. It’s definitely not going to be easy, but you got this.

“All of humanity’s problems come from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

Blaise Pascal

An Attitude of Gratitude

There’s recently been a lot going on in my life which I’m incredibly grateful for. I thought it would be appropriate to bring back the topic of gratitude, as it is a general theme in my writing. I’d like to specifically dive into the concept of living with an attitude of gratitude. I know it sounds a little cheesy, but it definitely is worth exploring.

In today’s post, I’m going to talk about how to remind yourself of your blessings, how to be thankful to other people, how to live in a state of abundance, and how it all links to the present moment.

Blessings on blessings on blessings

I talk about this all the time, but I know how easy it is to get caught up in the storm of life and forget all about it. Just to be clear, I am in no way condoning toxic positivity (as I’ve alluded to several times in the past). The point is not to undermine your current struggles or try to ignore how you’re feeling.

The point is that on a factual basis, we have SO much more than we could possibly wish for. Imagine if we had to pray for every single blessing we have? There’s no way we’d manage to cover everything. Yet, what often happens is that we take for granted the things that are going well for us and focus all our energy on what we’re missing.

Having goals and striving to improve as an imperative for success, remember that. But on that journey, we should remind ourselves of everything that fell into place for us to be where we are today. It’s about appreciating the journey and enjoying the process, not just wishing for the end goal.

Part of the process will always involve other people. We’re not on this planet alone and we’d never be able to survive without support. Why not make those people feel loved and appreciated for all that they do to is.

Thank you

It’s such a simple thing to do, yet for some reason we either forget or leave it out on purpose; saying thank you to those who have been of service to us. When I use the word service, I don’t only mean actually being served (like a meal for example), but also when people share their guidance, thoughts and wisdom.

Saying thank you more often instills a very specific attitude into your life. You notice that you’re blessed to a certain extent. You also start making other people appreciated for their efforts. This in turn enables them to want to do more for you. It’s a beautiful cycle of positive energy.

Being thankful does not only have to be a verbal cue. You can say thank you through your actions as well. This doesn’t mean we have to buy grandeur gifts for people every time they’re kind to us. But we can do simple things like; return the favour, leave a sticky note with some kind words, embrace them, tell them how much they mean to us and then of course buying them thoughtful gifts. The more grateful we are, the more we receive in return.

The more you give, the more you get

Spoken about this many many times before, but I just want to keep reminding you to give more. Be more charitable. Give out extra clothes. Give it out extra food. Give out your extra change. Support those who are less fortunate than you as much as you possibly can.

There are numerous benefits to this. Not only will it make you feel like you’re contributing and making an impact, but it will also change how people treat you. That shouldn’t be the objective, but it’s a noticeable side effect of being kind. People tend to be kind to you in return (more often than not).

You want to be the person on the ladder

Apart from being treated better, your life actually gets filled me with more blessings. You’ll be astonished at the ROI of giving away just R10 to charity. It’s actually not always quantifiable, but you’ll definitely get more than a R100 in return at some point.

Again, that’s not the objective, it’s just a by-product of being generous. Your intention always plays an important role here. When you give with the intention of uplifting others, it comes across as being genuine and sincere. That ripples again and brings more into your life.

Now

The most fascinating aspect of being truly grateful for me is that it brings you into the present moment. When you pause to appreciate things like your vision, your body, your health, your family, the food on the table or the roof above your head, it brings you into the now.

This aspect of being present is directly linked to mindfulness and an overall sense of well-being, since you’re no longer stressing about future scenarios or dreading the past. The more you’re able to think through a lens of gratitude, the more mindful you’ll train yourself to be.

In essence, this post serves as a reminder to be thankful. For what you have, for who you are, and for all the opportunities that are coming your way. It can sometimes be difficult to remember how blessed we are. The more we practice this attitude of gratitude however, the more of a reflex it becomes. So go out into the world and spread joy, love and kindness.

Thank you for your time and support, it’s truly appreciated. As-Salaamu Alaikum (May peace be upon you).

Dive Into Your Fears

How often do you find yourself consciously facing your fears? In this day and age, I’d say probably not much at all. Being confined by fear is an interesting concept, especially when most of it is actually psychological.

I thought about writing on fear because I know how much I subconsciously try to avoid confronting it. There are a number of root causes to our current fears, which could either be biological, physiological, or due to traumatic experiences.

In today’s post, I’d like to dive into your fears. I’ll look at identifying the different causes of those fears, what we can do about them, and how to avoid being shut down by fear. This might be easier for some of you than it is for others, the point is to try and strengthen our psychological resilience to the horrors we often have to face.

What causes of fear?

“A potential for pain, or an unrecognizable event, causes fear. The amygdalae, organs in the limbic system, detect such possibilities and send the signals which generate the fear emotion, which sets off avoidance activities.”

We experience fear out of instinct to avoid pain or undesirable events. Our minds react to external stimuli (or even mental projections) to ensure that we do what is necessary to survive. So if we have to look at the biological aspect of it, the amygdalae are what cause the sensation of fear. But what events trigger the amygdalae to make us feel that way?

As I’ve alluded to before, there are several different causes behind fear. I’ll focus on 3 in this post specifically, just to touch on the topic at a high-level:

• Failure
• Past trauma
• Evolution

Other causes of fear can include insecurity, overthinking, perfectionism, childhood events (linked to past trauma), and worrying about other people’s opinion to name a few.

On the topic of failure, I think that is one of the most common causes of fear. We are afraid of failing. We want to survive. We want to make it through. We want to succeed. We want to make ourselves and other people in our life proud. It would thus make sense that many of our underlying fears are deep-rooted in our intrinsic motive to avoid failure.

Past trauma is another incredibly important and often undetected cause of fear. When we experience a traumatic event (such as being robbed or getting into a car accident), it often leaves a mark on our psyche. We become a lot more careful, vigilant and even suspicious of the world. We try to avoid getting into that same scenario again, as best as we can.

The last cause of fear that I’ll touch on is that of evolution. We were once hunter gatherers and stayed in very close-knitted groups. We needed to survive off the savannah and ensure the tribe was safe from all forms of danger. The issue is, many of the underlying fears that enabled us to cope with the dangers at that time, stay with us up until today. Fearing snakes, the dark, spiders etc., are often rooted in ancestral times.

https://www.paulekman.com/universal-emotions/what-is-fear/

Tee figure above shows different levels of intensity when it comes to experiencing fear. Apart from just identifying the causes, we should also look at how intense the feeling is. What I’d like to do now is use the mentioned causes of fear to help us figure out what to do about it.

What to do about fear

So what should we do about fear when it does arise? The first answer is the obvious one; accept it. We often try to hide behind this façade of bravery. We like to appear to be fearless and full of courage. It often comes at the expense of being true to ourselves.

Instead of trying to appear to be strong and brave, what’s even more courageous is learning to accept certain fears and working towards overcoming them. True bravery (in my opinion) is about persistence and trying your best to learn from those underlying fears.

How to become Spiderman

After we accept that they’re there, we need to methodically try to overcome them. It won’t just happen overnight. We can’t expect to find an instantaneous answer. Exposure therapy is something that often works really well in this case. Slowly expose yourself to that which makes you afraid (in bearable doses). Then increase the intensity of the exposure as you get more and more used to it.

Those are things that are very situation specific, but are there ways that will allow us to develop a resilience to fear in general? How can we learn to fight that voice in our head and push forward, despite wanting to sit back and stay in our comfort zone?

How to stop letting fear hold you back

From my perspective, it’s about having faith and building up courage. It can surprisingly also boil down to purpose. When we have a strong foundational belief and understand that everything happens for a reason, we tend to be a lot more resilient.

From an Islamic point of view, the following quote resonates a lot with me:

It’s a fundamental belief that God is always with us, irrespective of how dreadful the scenario may be. Keeping that world view in mind allows me to push through many of my fears and setbacks in general.

When it comes to developing resilience to fear in general, what we need to focus on is essentially building a set of habits that allow us to face ‘baby’ fears all the time. A common example of this is cold showers. It’s petrifying and scary as hell. But doing it consistently allows your mind to practice overcoming the mental hurdle.

Next time there’s something that makes you really nervous or that you’re a little scared to do, just go for it and see the difference it can make. You’ll be a lot more ambitious in your goals and you won’t let trivial trials hold you back.

The point I’m trying to make from this post is that you’re capable. The more you put yourself out there and face you fears, the stronger you become. That strength can then diffuse into all other aspects of your life and will enable you to grow exponentially. We don’t realize how much of our potential is blocked purely because of our misconceptions and fears.

Face Everything And Rise.

Decide What You Want And Pursue It Relentlessly

I recently re-read one of my favourite psychology books called ‘Grit’ by Angela Duckworth. It’s essentially about why passion and perseverance are the keys to success. In other words, talent isn’t everything, it’s about the work and deliberate practice you put in.

When I think of a lot of people in my life, I notice a trend around complacency. Many people have ambitious goals and really want to succeed, but often fall short when push comes to shove. I’d like to use this post as somewhat of a ‘motivational’ speech.

Firstly, for myself. To remind myself of why I’m doing whatever it is I’m doing. Secondly, because I want you to understand how important it is to be driven by something deeper than motivation. I think motivation is unreliable, but habits can last. Lastly, so that we can stop making excuses and avoid hiding behind the comfort of our complacency.

Why?

We come back to the concept of purpose. It always starts with your reason, your intention, your why. We’ve heard about this everywhere and keep seeing it all the time. But I want you to understand that you don’t necessarily just wake up one day and figure out your purpose. In fact, you may never figure it out. You keep striving towards something meaningful and enjoyable, then determine your why from there.

That’s the first misconception that I want to uncover. Purpose is not easy to find. You often have to chase things that are in your self-interest and don’t necessarily contribute to other people. Once you start developing a certain level of expertise in that domain, you can then try and look beyond yourself, and figure out how to make an impact.

Let’s use my blogging as an example. Originally, I started it off as a way for me to vent. I just wanted a space to share my thoughts with other people. Not for their sake, but for mine. I was never a reader or a writer, but a few years down the line, I started getting better at it. I started enjoying it. It became a habit.

I started writing more about life lessons, book, mindfulness and little tricks that I found really helpful for me. A few of my friends and family members then started telling me how helpful my posts were to them. That they were inspired in some way. That’s when I realized the potential impact I could make by writing more meaningful posts.

“Aspire to Inspire” became the motto, to try and help people reach their full potential by sharing the little nuggets of wisdom that I have. What started off as a venting mechanism, turned into something purposeful. That brings me to my next point, why motivation is not reliable.

Motivation is unreliable

Some days we wake up feeling incredibly energetic and ready to conquer the world. Other days we dread the thought of getting out of bed. That’s essentially the issue with seeking motivation, it’s temporary and subjective. What can we look for instead, to stay inspired?

This may sound annoying, but my answer is to form habits/routine/rituals! Remember this quote:

“First you create your habits, then your habits create you.”

It’s all about consistency and making things somewhat predictable. If you have a routine going, you try to stick to it irrespective of your moods. You don’t only brush your teeth when you feel like it, you brush your teeth because it’s a habit, and you know that it’s important for your hygiene. You don’t only go to the gym when you feel like it. You go to the gym because it’s part of who you are. You are someone who is dedicated to your physical wellbeing.

So think of it in terms of who you are as an individual, not just as an activity that you perform. Initially, it will take some motivation and some push, but once you have the ritual and discipline going for you, you flow into it.

That brings me to another really important point, stop making excuses!

Stop making excuses

The thing about motivation is that it can be used as an excuse. ‘I just don’t feel motivated today’.

What does that even mean? Can you pinpoint exactly what’s causing you to slack off? Is it mood-dependent? If there are genuine reasons why you cannot go after what you want, then so be it. But if the reasons are fluffy and intangible, it’s not worth it.

I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to force you to be more productive or to do more. I want you to help you identify the flaws in your own argument when you convince yourself that you’re incapable of achieving something. The quote that immediately comes to mind is:

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.”

So if you need to take a break and if you really just need some time off, then do exactly that! It’s not about about toxic productivity and pushing yourself to the point of burnout. It’s about being realistic, ambitious and efficient. That’s my approach to life. Feel free to disagree with me in the comments.

https://www.northernslant.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/1bJccTuKWKOCJG6fLsJobmQ.png

Decide what you want, and pursue it relentlessly

The point that I’m trying to make in this post is that you should figure out what you want, then go after it. Relentlessly pursue your goals and ambitions. Why? Because tomorrow is not guaranteed. You don’t know if you’ll be here in another week, month, year or decade.

Given that fact, you should embrace the present moment but remembering the shortness of your life. Memento Mori. Your problems and challenges are there to fuel your journey moving forward.

Start deliberately practicing. Understand that the effort you put in is worth more than just talent. If you want to get better at something, put in the hours. Don’t wait for motivation, look at the habits you need to have in place. Stop making excuses and find ways to inspire yourself. Consistency is the key to mastery.

Who do you need to be, to achieve what you want to get done?

Why Do We Waste Food?

I’ve been doing some research into household consumer behaviour and why we waste food. I thought it would be an interesting topic to speak about, given how common food waste is nowadays.

In today’s post, I’d like to dive into several aspects of food waste (which can be extrapolated to any kind of waste). I’ll look at the impact it has on society, the impact it has on our psyche and the impact on our environment.

Impact of food waste on society

When it comes to societal impact, it’s easy to look at it from 2 different extremes; those living in abject poverty and the filthy rich. The majority of us lie somewhere in the middle. For those who live in a state of constant hunger and search for food on a day-to-day basis, it’s quite clear why wasting food makes no sense.

Think about it this way, whenever you intentionally throw food out (bec you let it expire etc.), you deny other people a chance to leverage that same thing. Yes, there should be a threshold or limit to what you can give or can’t give (based on the quality of the food for example). But more often than not, people who don’t have anything to eat will be incredibly grateful for your left overs.

This applies even more when you’re eating out at a restaurant. Time and time again, I see people leave large portions of their food on the table when they leave a restaurant. Those restaurants can’t do anything but throw it away. You, on the other hand, can ask for a takeaway box and give it to someone else (a guard or beggar etc.).

Our decisions always make an impact on other people, whether we see it directly or not. You can change the lives of the people in your community by simply giving away some of your leftovers or excess food. Especially when you know you’re not going to eat something, but keep it in the fridge until it expires/rots and throw it away.

Be mindful of these habits, they also have an effect on your psyche.

Impact on our psyche

As I mentioned already, there are indirect consequences to our wasting habits. The impact actually seeps deep into your subconscious, because you are essentially programming yourself to live a certain lifestyle.

Something as simple as throwing away leftovers? Really?

Yes, because it ingrains a certain level of ingratitude. This may sound like an attack to some of you, but it’s how I personally view the topic. When you’re comfortable with wasting, you are essentially doing the opposite of being grateful. You’re not truly appreciating the value of the blessing.

It happens by mistake and a lot of the time it’s not on purpose, but when it’s habit/lifestyle, then it can be truly problematic. Especially because you’re living out your values. And I don’t think any of us would really like to acknowledge that ingratitude can be a core value.

Apart from that, there’s also a huge concern about the environment. Landfills simply can’t sustainably deal with the type of food waste we produce.

Impact on the environment

Apart from the clear and obvious non-degradable aspects of the waste (like packaging and containers), the food itself causes a significant problem. Considering that most of our food waste typically ends up in landfills (in unsustainable quantities), it ends up being buried for microorganisms to decompose.

The issue is that the process is achieved through anaerobic digestion (without any oxygen), and the by-product is large amounts of greenhouse gas emissions (like CO2 and methane). This means that food waste directly contributes to climate change.

Another factor to consider is the value chain of the food process. From the time it’s farmed/produced, through to the logistics of transporting it, to the refrigeration/storage, all the way to consumption, there’s a lot of waste created when we throw that food away.

You can find more information on what happens to food waste in the article below.

What happens to food waste in landfills? The full environmental impact

What can we do about it?

I know that sounds all dark and gloomy, but there is something really simple that we can do about it. Simply waste less.

Start by paying closer attention to your buying and eating habits. If you notice that you always buy an excessive amount of certain items that usually end up expired, then start buying less of it. When you notice things approaching their expiry date and you don’t plan on consuming it, then give it away.

In addition, just give more to those who less fortunate than you. It obviously needs to be edible and in decent condition, but it doesn’t have to be brand new or immaculate. People appreciate the smallest of gestures and acts of kindness. By doing this, you’re acting out the value of gratitude. God has blessed us all with much more than we can count. It’s time to make our actions count.

So if you want to play your part and make a difference to society, to your psyche and to the environment, waste less, be more mindful of what you buy and start giving out more. You got this.

Work-Life Balance

Here’s a topic a lot of people I know may be struggling with (myself included, lmao). In the age of working from home (WFH) and everything being done virtually, we seemed to have lost touch of boundaries that are typically associated with work-life balance (WLB).

Most of us are expected to be online till way past our ‘working hours’, just because we can be. The amount of work that we are required to achieve in a single day has increased for some reason, despite the fact that it’s not necessarily easier being at home.

In today’s post, I’d like to deal with quite a difficult concept: how to improve on our work-life balance. I’ll talk about the boundaries that we need to set, the objectives that we need to have on a daily basis, spending enough time with our family and friends, looking at the spiritual side of things, as well as making time to get adequate sleep.

My experience of this topic comes from the fact that I’m part-time studying and working full-time – mostly from home. So there’s a lot of effort that I need to put in place to ensure that I get enough downtime and rest.

Boundaries and rituals

The reason why I talk about boundaries being blurred is because many of us no longer drive to the office, we don’t pack up our laptops when we’re done and go back home, we don’t feel how late it can get compared to when we’re at the office.

Nowadays, we wake up and the first thing we check is our work emails, we jump straight into meeting (often while we’re still in bed), we stay up till way later to meet deadlines, and we struggle to meet our other obligations – all while we’re at home.

First thing’s first, we need to identify that not having boundaries is a problem. A lot of us get used to the intensity and almost accept it. But if we don’t look at it for what it is, we may not appreciate a healthy balance. Once you understand the need for boundaries, you need to find ways to specify and implement them.

This can be done by understanding your objectives, which I’ll touch on briefly after this. For example, you may want to exercise before/after the work day. Block off an hour in the morning/evening at a specific time and try to let your team know that this is necessary for you to be effective (ensure it doesn’t clash with meetings etc.).

Another way to try and improve your WLB is by setting a cutoff time for you to respond to emails/attend meetings. I know it’s not always possible when projects get intense, but it’s worth a try. The point is to look at what you need to stay efficient, and build rituals around that.

Daily objectives

Your daily objectives should basically be aligned to your boundaries. Understanding what you need on a day-to-day basis will enable you to make time for those requirements. We all need to prepare for meals, get administrative tasks done, work on hobbies/side projects, maintain social relationships and get some exercise done.

By setting these objectives down at specific times during the day (with some flexibility), we can then incorporate those boundaries. The aim is to ensure that you sustain a healthy balance and attend to your personal matters too. That’s the whole point of understanding work-life balance.

Family/friends and alone time

This is an incredibly important component to me personally. I find that I need a recovery period with the people I love and cherish. There’s something about quality time that just recharges me. Without it, the balance starts to tip over.

I live away from most of family in Joburg, so I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like. But I still try to video call them often and then make plans with people that I’m close to here.

I also found that I need quite a decent dose of alone time to let my thoughts settle and to make sense of everything that goes on around me. I need time to meditate, to walk in nature, to read, to reflect and to contemplate. It’s a different way for me to clean out my energy and bring more positivity into my work.

Spiritual Aspect

Another fundamental part of my life revolves around Islam and my daily prayers. This can mean different things to different people, but having a spiritual grounding is truly something I can’t do without.

It is the essence of my purpose in life and I find that I’m always calmer and more collected after I’ve prayed. What I love about the Islamic approach, is that you’re required to pray 5 times a day. That means you get 5 chances every single day, to reconnect to your spiritual side and stay in check.

Find what works best for you and ensure that you incorporate it on a daily basis; even if it’s just being grateful before you start the day.

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Sleeping beauty

Another critical aspect of a healthy WLB is getting enough consistent sleep. This is easily a challenge, especially when there’s so much that needs to get done. Setup a cutoff time for when you go to sleep and for when to wake up. The consistency makes it easier for your mind to settle.

The benefits of getting enough sleep should be really clear by now, I’ve written a post about it already. The takeaway from this post is to make sure you respect your body’s requirement. If you sacrifice a healthy amount of sleep for too long, the harmful effects can last a lifetime.

If you can, try to get at least 7 hours of sleep. 6 if you’re pushing it. Anything below that (depending on your sleep cycle) would be detrimental. Calm down on the coffee too, especially past 3/4 pm.

So, we’ve given quite a bit of thought to the concept of WLB. There are a lot of considerations to factor in, especially given how we’re all WFH. Make sure you understand your daily objectives so that you can set boundaries, figure out how much time you need to spend with family/friends or alone to recharge, find time to pray, and make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

There’s always going to be a lot to do. That’s the nature of life. But just as the birds and animals know when it’s time to rest, so should you. Follow your nature and keep doing your best. You got this.

It’s so cold!

As many of you may know, I moved to Johannesburg (Joburg) at the start of the year. It was quite warm at the time, given we were edging towards autumn. We’re now peaking into winter, and it’s rather cold. Cold enough for us to dread even sitting on the toilet seat (like North America/Europe kind of cold).

I thought it would be interesting to write about how we adapt to changes in the weather as human beings. Or to even look at how we’re psychologically affected by it. Let’s talk about how we can learn to brace the cold, developing resilience, the effect the sun has on our psyche, and being grateful.

Bracing the cold

It’s a mindset thing really. Almost every conversation I’ve had with anyone living in Joburg has involved complaining about how cold the weather is (I’m guilty for contributing to that). That’s obviously what got me thinking… How can we actually learn to embrace the cold without just unnecessarily complaining?

I think it has a lot to do with mindset, exposure and breathing. Mindset is a bit of an obvious one, but important to bring up nonetheless. The more you tell yourself you’re feeling cold and are suffering, the less likely you are to effectively adapt mentally. The more you layer up, keep the heater on and stay inside, the less likely you are to physically adapt.

To juxtapose the mental and physical adaptation to cold, we should learn to focus on our breath. It’s interesting because if you think about it carefully, your breathing gets all shallow and rapid when you’re shivering. Learning to control your breath when you’re feeling cold will definitely facilitate some kind of resilience.

There’s definitely a limit to this and it can’t go on infinitely, as you have to avoid getting sick. It really is a fine balance, but you have to start somewhere.

Developing resilience

As I already mentioned, it’s about taking baby steps to avoid completely shocking the system and getting sick. So where do we start with developing some kind of resilience to cold? I think more than 90% of you will hate my answer to this: cold showers and less layers.

Before you panic and decide to completely ignore what I have to say, please know that I’m asking you to start small. You gain a lot of mental strength when you can put yourself through that little bit of discomfort, which enables you to actually deal with constantly feeling cold. Some of you may have biological or health issues that make it tougher, but the principle is the same.

When it comes to cold showers, I’m just suggesting that you try it out for 10 seconds or so while you wait for the water to get warm. This not only helps you save water, but it helps you adapt to the cold a little more! Essentially, you want to get your body used to that little shock. To overcome that mental fear. To learn how to focus on your breath while your body starts panicking.

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The same logic can be applied when you’re deciding to layer up and leave the house. Instead of wearing 3 jackets and 2 socks, try and wear just enough for you to feel relatively warm. You can use your breathing technique to help you deal when it starts getting really cold. Again, I’m not asking you to suffer (well I kind of am), but I want you to strengthen your mental and physical capacity to deal with the weather.

Here comes the sun

The weather impacts our mood. If you don’t believe me, just go outside on a sunny day vs a cloudy / rainy day. You’ll immediately notice a difference. When it comes to getting enough sunlight though, we should really stop undermining the benefits (both from a mental and physical health point of view).

The most obvious benefit is vitamin D. Everyone knows that they need to get enough sunlight to sustain a healthy dose of vitamin D… But how many of us consciously put in those hours? I’m guilty of this myself, especially since I started working from home (also bec it’s freezing outside). But we should try to get in at least 15 min a day, to refresh our psyche and strengthen our bones.

The sun also gives us a serotonin boost. This means that it directly affects our mood, as I alluded to earlier on. There’s an added bonus to this though… Serotonin and Melatonin work together, so getting exposure from sunlight may even help you sleep better.

If you want to read more on the benefits of sunlight, check out the article below.

5 Ways the Sun Impacts Your Mental and Physical Health

The point I’m trying to make is that the weather and season play a role in our overall attitude, our mood, and even our energy levels. We can use that understanding to ensure that we make the most of the situation we’re in and optimize our health.

Gratitude

As always, the most important lesson to take from all this is a little bit of gratitude. When it comes to extreme weather conditions, we should always be grateful to have some kind of luxury in place to help us deal with it.

Whether it’s the electricity that powers our heaters, the thick blankets we have to sleep in, the roof above our heads, the jackets and socks that we have. We should be thankful to God for all that he has blessed us with.

It’s crucial that we don’t forget about how many other people are less fortunate and don’t have a fraction of what we have. In order to truly live out the value of gratitude, I suggest you try and give out some of your old clothes that you haven’t worn in a while to people who would desperately make better use of it. Put yourself in their position and imagine how much tougher it would be to adapt when you have so little.

It always comes back to the fact that God has given us all different circumstances and different tools to deal with those circumstances. You are truly blessed and you should never forget that. #LiftAsYouRise

Taking Life for Granted

I’ve been reflecting over my experiences lately and I’ve come to realize that we take a lot of life for granted. Whether it’s the people in our life, our health, our wealth or even the food on the table, we often find ways to get complacent and ‘expect’ it all to be there day after day.

A really close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with a very serious illness, and it was heartbreaking to hear. Not only because of the thought that I might lose him, but also because I would’ve never expected something like that to happen to ‘us’; considering how young and full of energy we are.

We’ve also been through a lot in terms of the civil unrest + the third wave of the pandemic here in South Africa. I’ll touch more on that in next week’s post.

Today’s post is going to be a familiar talk on gratitude. The emphasis, however, will be on ways to improve our daily engagements to appreciate life a little more. There are some incredibly simple steps that we can take to make a worthwhile difference. Let’s talk about observing nature, being more vulnerable, expressing our feelings, showing gratitude and appreciating ourselves.

Nature nature nature

I keep coming back to the concept of spending time in nature because I honestly think we all really underestimate the power it has on our psyche. One of the ways in which I personally make the most of my day is by spending some time surrounded by nature; whether it’s in the garden, watching the sunrise/sunset, going for a walk, listening to the birds or even just staring at the clouds.

Just like we constantly need to be connected to the internet, we need to also find ways to be connected to the planet. The more we are able to appreciate the gifts that are all around us, the less likely we will feel like we’re taking life for granted.

It sucks now that we’ve entered multiple lockdowns, we have travel restrictions, inflation and taxes are making things more expensive, we can’t really socialize or adventure as much as we used to. What can we do tho? Strengthen our relationship with nature and mindfully observe how we’re all interconnected – find ways to transcend mass consciousness.

Vulnerability and expressing our feelings

One of the ways in which we undermine our capacity to live life to the fullest is by falling short of telling people how we truly feel about them. We are not vulnerably honest enough. We keep beating around the bush, hiding our feelings and waiting for some future state of preparedness.

It’s not too late to start telling the people who mean the world to you, how much you truly love and care for them. In fact, we should make it a regular habit to do just that. We often get caught up our worldly demands, that we tend to neglect those who are closest to us.

Tell them you love them more often. SHOW them you love them more often. Stop waiting for a birthday, an anniversary, a special occasion. The more love you give to the world (and yourself), the more love will be returned to us.

Appreciating ourselves

We appreciate ourselves when we’re able to truly cherish who we are as individuals. As flawed, as weird, as imperfect as we may be, there’s still so much that we’re remarkable at. More and more, we’ve been conditioned into a very specific societal view of what ‘normal’ is meant to be. We ache to fit in and ensure we’re not outcasts; it’s part of our DNA (survival depended on us conforming to group norms).

We’ve reached a point in time tho, where we don’t need that same level of conformity. We shouldn’t have to force ourselves to change who we are, to be loved and appreciated (within certain limits, obviously). We should start appreciating our quirks and realize that it’s what makes us unique. It’s what differentiates us from the rest of the population.

You are incredibly special. You have so much to offer the world and those around you. You are loved. You are capable. And you are absolutely worth it.

Don’t lose hope and stay grateful

Energy follows focus.

It’s always about being thankful. It’s always about appreciating other people. About appreciating what we have. About focusing on our blessings.

It’s been rather chaotic over the past few months, so many different reasons. Yet, our blessings and all that we have is still immeasurable. Don’t lose hope. Don’t despair. Have faith. Trust the process. You will get through this. Faster, stronger and braver than ever before.

It may seem impossible now, but you’ll think back and be astonished at what you’ve accomplished. Take care of those around you as much as you can. Spend enough time in nature. Express your love and affection to those you care about.

“Live for the present like you’ll die tomorrow. Plan for the future like you’ll live forever.”