Apocalyptic

I wrote this post looking back at the events that occurred around 3 weeks ago. It felt exactly as if we were in an apocalypse.

*Trigger warning*

https://www.primenewsghana.com/images/2021/may/12/e302a7eff2393087c431fb564e923f44.jpg

There seems to be a lot going on in the world rn, especially in South Africa. If being in a 3rd wave of the Covid pandemic wasn’t enough, we also experienced some intense riots and looting 3 weeks ago. It was quite strange, seeing how things spiraled out of control so quickly.

Today’s post will be another part of the Thinking Out Loud series. I just thought it would be interesting to discuss relevant topics and get insights from different people. First, I’ll give some background to the riots and looting, then I’ll go through the 3rd wave struggle, how we’re stronger together, and lastly, I’ll look at how these experiences serve as a turning point in our lives.

What on earth happened South Africa?

To give some context, the riots started off as protests in support of our ex-president Jacob Zuma.

“Zuma was sentenced late last month for defying a constitutional court order to give evidence at an inquiry investigating high-level corruption during his nine years in office until 2018. The decision to jail him resulted from legal proceedings seen as a test of post-apartheid South Africa’s ability to enforce the rule of law, including against powerful politicians.”

After his arrest, many of his supporters went out in protest to this incident (don’t ask me why people protested against imprisoning someone corrupt). The protests quickly turned into some kind of organised mayhem, where they chose a specific day to start mass looting and cause sporadic destruction in KZN and Gauteng.

https://www.autoexposite.com/world/death-toll-rises-as-violence-and-looting-spreads-in-south-africa/

This included supermarkets, warehouses, malls and all sorts of businesses. Highways and main roads were also blocked, paralyzing supply chain routes and causing a huge shortage of many essential supplies, including petrol. For the few days that the chaos occurred, people couldn’t buy bread, milk, order food online or refuel their cars. It was like a full on apocalypse; quite surreal if we’re being honest.

“What we are witnessing now are opportunistic acts of criminality, with groups of people instigating chaos merely as a cover for looting and theft.” -President Cyril Ramaphosa

The army was eventually deployed and things started to calm down. In the interim, we all kind of forgot that we were in the middle of a pandemic.

https://www.sapeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/looting-shopping-centre-South-Africa-th.jpg

3rd wave of the pandemic

I’ve already talked about my personal experience getting Covid, but it seems like the waves and variants are just endless at this point. I don’t think we truly understand the impact on the economy of having another wave of Covid in addition to a week of looting and shutdowns.

The amount of damage that was done to infrastructure, to the modes of transport and to supply chains have only made things more intense.

What I love about this country though is the resilience. We are an incredibly diverse nation, with a very strong history. We’ve overcome immense challenges to get to where we are today. Despite the motives behind everything that’s happening and this 3rd wave, people are still giving it their best! We are not giving up. Not anytime soon, that’s for sure.

Coming together as a community

The most incredible thing that I observed in all this chaos was the way in which we came together as communities. I noticed how despite several Muslim businesses being looted and burnt, many of them still contributed and assisted in preparing hampers for those who were unable to get groceries, and for the poor/needy. I’m sure there were many non-Muslims who contributed in that sentiment as well.

Additionally, they were also many people who came together as vigilante groups and neighbourhood watches, to protect their families, areas and livelihoods. It was incredible to see the support from everyone at this dire time, and the all-nighters being pulled for our safety.

Yes I know certain people went overboard with these initiatives; fueling hate crimes and racism, but I’m focusing more on those who did their best to stay put and protect.

From an Islamic perspective, the prophet Muhammed (pbuh) taught us that we should never discriminate against anybody. There are several incidents from his time when he forgave, accepted and embraced people who were once his enemies, people who killed his friends and family, and people who were tirelessly trying to end his life/mission.

The lesson we can learn from all this is to continue being kind, caring and forgiving. It’s not the time to point fingers and start polarizing from different groups. It’s not the time for revenge. We should demand justice, definitely. But until then, we need to be compassionate and lead with an open heart.

Turning point

On the shortness of life. I’d like to leave you with a critical question:

If you knew the world would end next week, what would do differently?

Over and over again, I think of how I live assuming that I’ll wake up tomorrow. It’s quite an important assumption to make, obviously. But it’s also one that can make us incredibly complacent.

As I discussed in my previous post, we take life for granted. We get used to the way things are. We don’t anticipate change as often as we should. That’s why I propose that you deeply sit with the question above. Reflect on what you would do differently moving forward.

Expect the unexpected, without putting too much pressure on yourself. Stop being surprised at the fact that life is a roller-coaster ride. Its proven that to you many times already.

Emotional Availability

You might wonder how I come up with the different topics to write on my blog each week. I essentially look out for trends in my own life, in my social circle, in my family, or just online.

The concept of emotional availability is incredibly fascinating to me, as it essentially determines your capacity to handle other people’s emotions. This is typically seen in a romantic aspect, but can also apply to platonic friendships.

I’d like to think out loud today and talk about a few things that come to mind when I hear about emotional availability. Let’s discuss how our experiences shape who we are, how being aware of our own emotional availability plays a role in our approach to relationships, how the work we put into ourselves cascades into other people and why we should learn about our own love language.

Our experiences and who we are

To me, emotional availability is the capacity we have to sustain an emotional connection in a relationship. It’s essentially a combination of our willingness and ability to connect with the emotions of other people. This would essentially require continuous vulnerability and trust with the other person.

Let’s go down the psychotherapy train and talk about childhood. First thing’s first, I think our perceptions of love and what romance is all about typically stems from the early years of our life. It evolves as we watch our parents interact, our family member engage, what we see in movies , and from books that we’ve read. We carry these expectations with us as we enter relationships, which then gives us our own experience and realizations.

Moving forward to where we are now, I think our most recent experience of being in some form of romantic or platonic relationship deeply impacts our emotional availability status. A breakup that ended badly, a friend that betrayed us, or even complicated family dynamics, can make it difficult for us to approach people with vulnerability and trust.

These are not necessarily the only factors that affect how emotionally available we are. There are some people who are just in a phase in their life where they’re not prepared for a new relationship. They’re focusing on their academics/career, their families, or they just haven’t done enough work on themselves.

This can lead to us being emotionally ‘unavailable’, where we find it difficult to open ourselves up and let other people into our lives. So how do we move forward with these insights?

Self-awareness and our approach to relationships

I’m sure by now you would’ve noticed that the key input to understanding one’s emotional availability is to have some level of self-awareness. This can be achieved by continuously reflecting on the experiences that have deeply impacted our view on relationships.

The more effort we consciously put into understanding our own biases, assumptions and interpretations, the more likely we are to approach people less defensively. Not every situation is going to be the same. Not every relationship is going to turn out like the one you’ve experienced.

The world is incredibly diverse. The more we’re able to bring our most authentic selves to the table, and the more vulnerable we’re willing to be, the more we’ll be be able to love ourselves and those around us.

Learning our own love language

We each have our own unique love language. It’s precedent in our experiences and upbringing as I’ve already mentioned. The issue with everyone having a different love language is that it can often cause friction when they’re misaligned. If what makes me feel special makes you feel overwhelmed, it’s not necessarily effective to replicate.

The importance of this is that we want to try and learn our own love language so that we can articulate it well enough to others, to avoid being disappointed by our expectations. Like I said, what works for me might not work for you. This links back to the previous section because when we have an understanding of what works for us, we can then realize that we’d need to curate our approach of love to different people.

Hint: I’d love all of the above pls

When you try to make other people feel special or loved, don’t necessarily look at what you’d want for yourself. Look at how they typically approach the same thing and what has generally made them feel excited or appreciated.

I hope you’ve taken away some insights from the thoughts that I’ve shared today. Being aware of your own emotional availability will make it easier to set boundaries in future relationships. It will allow you to learn more about yourself and other people. When you think about it from a love language perspective, you’ll realize that everyone has their own set of conditions. All the best with the journey ahead! You got this.

Why Are We Addicted?

What’s the first thing that came to your mind when you read out the title? Do you feel like there are certain behaviours that you just can’t do without?

I was thinking about how the human experience is essentially about continuously overcoming different forms of addiction. We tend to find something that stimulates us enough and hold onto it.

Whether it’s food, social media, attention, video games, watching series, smoking, coffee or even exercise. There seems to be an underlying psychological aspect to that distraction, despite the harm it has on us or those around us. I thought it would be interesting to have a Thinking Out Loud post to share my thoughts on this.

Distractions

If there’s anything we’re undoubtedly addicted to, it’s being distracted. Our attention is data, which is essentially a modern day currency. This doesn’t just speak to ads and social media, but every aspect of our life. The more we let our attention loose, the more likely we are to get distracted.

Here’s the interesting thing though, distraction is addictive because it means we don’t have to think about things that really matter. Notice the way you constantly have the urge to keep yourself busy, whenever you have a second to think for yourself. It’s during that period of stillness that we’re able to harness our full potential.

So if we’re addicted to being distracted, then how exactly do we deal with those obtrusive thoughts? The answer is to simply give our minds a safe space to let those thoughts out. The next time you notice that you’re trying to keep unnecessarily busy, ask yourself how you’re feeling at that given point.

Journalling tends to work wonders here. You essentially have to find a way to structure the chaos that’s going on in your mind. The more clearly you’re able to articulate your thoughts to yourself, the better you’ll be able to do the same thing with other people. Additionally, you would also free up bandwidth, which may help you focus on your specific tasks.

“You can’t remove habits, you can only replace them.”

I think that quote speaks incredibly well to the point I’m trying to make, especially in relation to the habits you’ve formed around being distracted.

Replace the numbing with vulnerability and allow yourself to feel. This will not only benefit you, but everyone around you too.

Short-term vs long-term

If you think about any addiction, there are typically consequences in the short-run and the long-run. The difficult thing is that it’s both pleasurable and painful (no such thing as good or bad, just our perception of things).

In the short-run, our addictions seem to give us a little dopamine boost. We hyper-stimulate our senses in some way. This feels great for a specific moment in time. However, the dependency we form becomes imbedded in us. We continuously re-wire the neurons in our brain for that fix. That makes it harder for us to find alternatives, to deal with our thoughts and emotions in the long-run.

“Live for the present like you’ll die tomorrow, plan for the future like you’ll live forever.”

In the long-run, we need to think about the cumulative effect of repeatedly pursuing that addiction. It’s essentially like thinking about the results we want to achieve from being consistent – similar to the way habits work.

It’s also convenient to ignore the fact that we do end up being addicted to certain things. We tend to keep ourselves in a mode of denial.

Denial

What’s always easier than doing the hard work? Ignoring the fact that there is work to do in the first place.

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The diagram above displays the concept of The Johari Window. It speaks to the fact that there are four possible quadrants within our self-awareness. The shared self, hidden self, blind self and unknown self. We should strive towards being known to ourselves, on the left two quadrants; the shared and hidden self.

Being in denial is like forcing yourself to be in the right two quadrants; trying to make things unknown to yourself. The blind and unknown selves are where we need to put in the most work. This is because we want unveil what we’re blind to but others can see, and want to figure out as best as we can what we’re unknown to.

The points I’m trying to make here is that we’re always fending off different types of addiction. It seems an evitable aspect of life. We just need to keep our awareness up and constantly work on ourselves, to avoid falling into the unknown.

Actionable advice: Start with acceptance. Don’t deny the fact that are certain behaviours that you’d like to replace. After that, write down the reason why it’s important for you to do that and the impact it would have in the long-run. Note a plan of action and try your best to stay consistent with it.

Share your struggle with others and embrace being vulnerable. We’re all trying out best.

Why Exercise Is Important

I’ve started going to the gym again after taking a pretty long break. Over the past few months, I was still keeping a little active – surfing, jogging and playing soccer – but it wasn’t enough. Due to the prolonged period of inactivity, I became a lot more prone to injuries. Today, I want to speak to you about the benefits that I’ve personally experienced from working out.

As with all habits, always remember to start with why. Keep your intentions clear and aligned with your values. The more the benefits of what you’re trying to do are clear, the more likely you are to stay consistent.

I’ll dive into the mental health benefits, the physical health benefits, developing consistency, a growth mindset and mental sharpness.

Mental Health and Self-esteem

You’ve probably heard this before but I’m here to reiterate the point, your physical health and mental health are interlinked. The better you take care of your physical needs (i.e. Exercise regularly, sleep well, eat healthy), the better your mental health will be.

The interesting thing about exercise is that it’s an incredible distraction. All you focus on when you’re working out is the next rep, the next mile or the next stretch. You narrow down your concentration and form some kind of tunnel vision, allowing you to de-stress.

When you feel good about your body, your self-esteem naturally boosts. This has tremendous benefits to your psyche, because your inner self-talk plays a critical role in your day-to-day activities.

Next time you’re feeling lazy to work out or go for a jog, think of how much better you’ll feel when those muscles are burning. Not only will you have more mental clarity, but you’ll also have more confidence in yourself.

Physical Health and Longevity

This is a bit more obvious. Exercising improves your physical health (Duh). To ensure that your body functions effectively, you need to constantly keep it active. A simple way to think about it is like a car. If you keep it static and stagnant for a long period of time, things can go in many different ways.

The circulation in your body also helps deliver blood more efficiently to the different organs, as well as your brain. This relationship helps cells recover faster and keeps you healthier, for longer. In essence, keeping fit helps you survive for longer (keeping in mind that the time you pass on has already been written and is inevitable).

Consistency

An invaluable skillset. I talk about this quite a lot, but this habit emphasizes it perfectly. You only get better, fitter and stronger when you exercise consistently. It’s also quite incredible how you can transfer this mindset into other areas of your life.

How you are in one part of your life is how you are in all parts of your life. You can’t separate who you are. The way you carry yourself at work, at home, at the gym, on the field, whilst studying, inevitably leaks into all other areas. Focus on giving everything your best shot.

“What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while.”

Keep at it. Don’t stop after a week or 2. Don’t even stop after a month or 2. Just keep at it for a few months and make improvements on your weak spots. This brings me to my next point, having a growth mindset.

Growth Mindset

I absolutely love talking about this concept because it’s such an important part of life. You have to believe in overcoming the discomfort. You have to believe that the struggle is making you stronger. You have to believe that pushing yourself past your limits will lead to growth.

This is easily proven when you’re doing any kind of exercise. Whether it’s lifting weights, running a half marathon, working on difficult yoga poses or just stretching. You need to continuously exert yourself and see how that allows you to reach your goals.

You’ve got to learn to love the burn. This will then allow you to build on your resilience; which as you should know, works exactly like a muscle.

Energy and Mental Sharpness

I’ve already mentioned how the blood circulates to your brain better when you exercise. This in turn gives you energy and an ability to focus. You’re training yourself mentally as much as you are physically, and the benefits are holistic.

The point of this blog post was to motivate you to get up and get going. There’s always a million and one excuses why we can’t exercise. I’ve hopefully given you a million and one reasons to make it a priority. Start small and keep consistent, even if it’s just a 15 minute walk everyday.

If you say ‘I don’t have the time’, you need to carefully re-arrange your priorities. Taking out the time to exercise will not only help you stay fit, but it will also give you more energy, help with your mental health, and allows you to develop consistency, resilience and a growth mindset.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Despite what the title says, this post has nothing to do with mirrors. Or walls for that matter. It does, however, have everything to do with reflection.

It’s been a while since I’ve just shared random thoughts. The recent posts have been somewhat structured and have had some kind of life lesson. Today I’ll be thinking out loud. I’ll be sure to include some philosophy and wisdom.

Routine and schedule

I tend to talk about routine and how important it is to have a schedule on a regular basis. But where did this all come from? Was I always like this? Why am I always trying to motivate people?

Asking myself these questions was a great way to gain insight into how my brain works.

I was never like this at all. In fact, during high school, I was more or less the complete opposite. I wouldn’t dare touch a book. I had no sense of routine. I would just play video games at any given opportunity, watch series, or play soccer.

A very clear memory I have of my upbringing is the way my dad used to yell at me to wake up in the morning for school. I was notorious for constantly getting back into bad after he’d wake me up several times. This genuinely carried on until I left for university. God really tested that man’s patience with me.

Somehow, after all those years of resisting waking up early and forming a routine, I started seeing why it was so important. I became a ‘morning person’, despite always believing that I never was.

https://www.amazon.com/YJT-Productions-Morning-Routine/dp/B07CR26BG3

I kind of started realizing how most things in life depend on some form of structure and consistency. Without those 2 key components, we just end up stagnating. It took some thinking and looking back at the ways things were, to figure that out.

Throwback

What I really want to focus on here is how I got to where I am, by reflecting over my daily disciplines and practice. Throwbacks have become a way for us to reminisce the past and think of the good old days.

The only problem is that we tend to focus on all the good and what went well. That’s great and can definitely put you in a good mood, but it’s not where most of the learning occurs.

Life teaches us lessons from our painful experiences. We’ve also evolved to find ways to numb the pain and to hide it within deep layers of our psyche. This results in subconscious behaviours that can be toxic or that hold us back.

So what do we do about that?

Reflect!

The short story I wrote about my simple experience of waking up early was greatly affected by my experiences growing up. Through reflection and trying to understand where the rebelliousness was actually coming from, I managed to become a ‘morning person’.

This also works for situations that are much deeper and more important than just waking up early. I just want you to utilize the tool of reflection more often.

Looking into a mirror is quite a trip. You’re looking into the person you’ve become after all the years of experience on planet Earth. Here are some things to think about:

• What have you learned up until now?
• What important lessons would teach yourself from 5 years ago?
• How much have you changed since last year?
• In what ways are you mad?
• What is holding you back?
• Why are you so annoying?

Don’t be offended by these questions, they’re meant to help you reflect. Use them as prompt questions in your journal, if you have one. Or just think about them next time you’re staring out the window or going for a walk. You’ll be amazed at the insights you gain.

We’re all idiots

Deep down, we’re all deeply flawed. Some of us just tend to cover it up better than others. I’ve taken this concept from The School Of Life. You can find the link to a very interesting article below.

In essence, realizing how we’re all a bunch of idiots can make us a little more confident. Don’t try too hard to appear ‘normal’. No one is perfect. People who seem to have it all together are just people we don’t really know well enough. That’s also where the whole concept of a crush comes from.

Be yourself and learn from your mistakes. There’s nothing wrong being flawed or being an idiot. It’s part of the human experience.

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-thinking-youre-an-idiot-lends-confidence/

By looking back at all the ways you’ve previously messed up, you can learn how to improve. It’s not about avoiding making mistakes, it’s about learning as much as we can from them.

“Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.”

We’re hyper-adaptive beings. We have impeccable feedback loops. Understand how they work and take care of yourself. You will push through. You will make it out. You will get through this; stronger, faster and better than ever before. Keep trying your best.

Look forward, but take a moment to look back and appreciate how far you’ve come. You’re absolutely incredible.

Don’t take your health for granted

When was the last time you were sick? Isn’t it usually a rather stressful or depressing feeling? Why do we only start appreciating our health when it’s under threat?

This will be a post as part of the Thinking Out Loud series. I fell ill over my trip to Turkey and I just want to share some of the insights I’ve gained from it.

By now, you may be familiar with one of my core values: Gratitude. This will definitely be a gentle reminder to help us appreciate one of the greatest assets we have; our health.

What can you control?

Think about the last time you were sick. How quickly did you fall into prayer, kindness and hope of recovery? Something to always keep in mind is that we can control our perception, not our circumstances.

Physical illness is largely a mental battle. You have to fight off the constant stress, the constant negative thoughts and the constant regret. We’re often extremely unproductive when we’re ill, which definitely has its advantages.

Our body uses up most of its energy to fight off the bad guys (usually viruses & harmful bacteria) and for healing. This is what generally tends to make us feel despondent (apart from the actual feeling of being sick). We feel bad for being stuck in bed & not carrying on with our lives as usual.

But this is where I started appreciating something. We don’t often realize it, but when our body forces us to slow down, its for our own good. We have a lot more time to contemplate & be grateful. It’s vital to stay optimistic and still see the world through adventurous eyes.

Why should you be grateful?

For the perspective that being sick has to offer. For the skills that it teaches you. For the values you acquire; patience, perseverance, humility. No amount of wealth will ever compensate for losing your health. That’s something to be extremely aware of.

If you start imagining what life is like for those who have chronic illnesses, you’d have a lot to be thankful for. The fact that you can see, the fact that you can hear, the fact that you can walk, taste, smell, feel. I could go on and on and on. These are invaluable blessings that we oversee.

The point I’m trying to make is that we need to spend a little more time each day contemplating how fortunate we really are. For if any of these blessings were to disappear, our life would be completely different.

Prophet Muhammed (Peace Be Upon Him)

What could be the benefits of falling ill?

It brings you closer to God. It brings you closer to your family and friends. It helps you stay humble and understand how temporary life truly is. It also helps your body reset and strengthens part of your immune system.

Memento Mori: Remember that you will die. Falling sick is probably the greatest reminder of death. So it makes sense for us to be terribly afraid of it.

This was just a short post that I wanted to use as a reminder. We need to be more loving, more kind, more gentle, more patient & more grateful. For what truly matters when we pass on isn’t our status, wealth or success. But rather the impact we make on the world and those around us.

Let’s strive to live each day with utmost contentment & full of life. Don’t make decisions that don’t align with your values. Focus on your blessings and remember: You Only Die Once.

Thinking Out Loud ~ 4

Another post where I’m just sharing the chatter that often stays in my mind. A few topics that I’ll dive into are: Art, Beauty and Change! Ahh, the only constant in life. Excited to get the ball rolling with this one, let’s learn some ABC!

I’ll share pics from the my adventures as I’ve done with the previous posts in this series.

Art

Is in the eye of the beholder. Define art, I dare you. Haha, the thing is, it’s always left up to the individual’s perception. Kind of like taste. There’s no certainty in what tastes good or bad, it all depends on the person and their experiences.

Just as our views and opinions evolve with time and experience, so do our senses. The moment we become conscious of how readily our perceptions change, the more easily we’ll become lovers of life.

I like the idea of art being related to contentment. When we’re truly able to be mindful of how certain things affect us, and be grateful for that feeling; I’d say that’s experiencing art.

Art doesn’t necessarily have to be a painting or a sculpture, it can be anything that allows you to feel connected to the world.

The sky is art. It’s different each and every day. Just like you, you’re different every day. The weather also makes us feel a certain way. Good or bad? That doesn’t matter. When it’s out of your control, learn to accept it.

The way we connect to the world is with our feelings. And feelings influence our thought patterns, which subsequently drive our behaviours! Or is it the other way around? Do our thought patterns affect our feelings?

It’s definitely all intertwined. Acknowledging that our thoughts, emotions and behaviours all affect each other, can help us understand ourselves better.

After all, we are art. Cultivated by the Creator.

The cognitive triangle!

Ahh, we’re getting somewhere with this. I’d like to touch on beauty while we’re here.

Beauty

Let me make you cringe a little (Although you’d probably love to read it anyway).

BeYOUtiful. You are beautiful. You look beautiful. You are art.

Is there a difference between being beautiful and looking beautiful? Absolutely! One is complimenting an appearance, the other is complimenting a character.

You know what’s an impeccable piece of art in my opinion? Developing your character.

Appearances are temporary, futile and lustful. Definitely something important and should be genuinely appreciated, but not the main plot of the story. Who we are, what defines us, our purpose, our contribution, our legacy. That should be our main focus.

We need to still be comfortable in our own skin. So I’m trying to find the balance between being and looking beautiful.

I’m kind of leaning towards how we should each strive to be beautiful human beings. We’re all beautiful in a physical sense. We’re all created from the same soil, the same source. We need to internalize that connection and appreciate the beauty in our differences.

But what about our spirit? We need to be ourselves.

To be yourself, you need to understand who you are! Through unfolding our turbulent childhoods, we can decipher where our belief systems came from, and see how our perceptions were formed. It’s more often than not, due to a younger version of ourselves coming to a silly conclusion about the world.

In essence, I’m encouraging journalling again, haha. Why? Because it allows you to see yourself for who you truly are, and appreciate the beauty that is your journey. To understand your own nature and beauty.

You’re not static. You’re constantly evolving. Stop holding onto false egotistical beliefs. Change the inner narrative. You’re not your circumstances, you’re more than that.

In the purest sense, you’re beautiful. You should measure that by your soul and character, not just your appearance.

Change

I love talking about change, considering how it’s one of the most consistent aspects of life. You’re not the same person you were a few minutes ago. How come? Because your physiology literally changes all the time, that includes your brain. Neuro-plasticity!

Change is inevitable, resistance is futile.

Now, what I really want to dig into, is the change we choose to suffer. We tend to associate certain changes with negativity, for various reasons. Sometimes the change is our fault and can be genuinely harmful, most of the time however, we suffer from change that is not really in our control.

When people say things like: “You’ve changed so much! You’re not the same… ”

We often associate that with faults, or that there’s something wrong with changing. We should rather embrace it and be content with our change. Of course we’re meant to be different if we’re growing and maturing. What use is it being the same?

I’m just trying to encourage one thing here, embrace change. Understand that you need to experience discomfort and non-ideal situations, to actually grow. To actually learn. To actually make a difference.

Imagine if everyone stayed the same or lived within the same conditions, how static would the world be?

This is just something that I enjoyed sharing and I hope certain aspects of it did resonate with you. Art- Appreciation. Beauty- Be yourself. Change- Certain. These quick reminders help me find meaning in the day to day struggles.

“Nobody cares about how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

So keep showing people that you care. Be grateful. Be strong. Be you. You’re everything you’re meant to be and more.

Thinking out loud ~3

Let’s talk a little about seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, love and kindness. Relationships, roots and a bit of mother nature. I’m attempting a more poetic approach with the thinking out loud series, also allowing the pictures I take to speak with me.

It’s our own idea of good and bad, that truly carries meaning with us. If we can dissociate from those ideas, we’ll have much more freedom. That is: seeking pleasure makes us feel good, whereas enduring pain makes us feel bad.

Life is meant to be both pleasing and painful, for without silence there can be no sound. Without darkness, there can be no light.

The nature of the flower is to give, the nature of the bug is to receive. Follow your nature. Give and receive in abundance.

“The ultimate value of personal growth work is not to feel better about ourselves but to contribute to how those around us feel about themselves.“

In unity there is strength, like the roots of trees. There’s a fascinating podcast that I listened to the other day, which spoke on the reasons why certain trees and forests survive extreme conditions. From snowy storms to hurricanes and tornadoes, how do forests still make it?

It turns out, there’s an entire network beyond our vision, allowing this to be possible. The roots of trees are known to dig deep into the earth and find multiples sources of nutrition. These roots also connect with neighbouring trees and plants, forming immaculate networks.

These networks allow trees to ‘communicate’ and to assist each other whenever needed. I found this absolutely inspiring, considering how important it is for us to stay and work together.

In unity there is strength.

The support and love we can provide to each other, will also allow us to withstand all conditions. As social beings, we’ve evolved to rely on each other. Not just for our basic needs, but for intuitive, emotional and intellectual stimulation.

Fostering healthy relationships however, is not just something you can do by liking pictures or retweeting posts. It’s an investment. You have to put in time and energy, in order for it to grow into something profitable. Profitable in the sense where you find meaning and service, within something greater than yourself.

Take time to check on your friends, your family members, all those you care about. Love is about action, consistency, and how we make others feel. It’s the amount of attention we’re willing to pay.

Spend time to reflect on the people you spend time with. The way you treat the people you love. The way you treat yourself. Your actions, behaviours and intentions. We need to spend more time consciously living. Being present with the world around us.

Spending time in nature is good for your mental health. It’s science, I kid you not. Going for walks also allows your thoughts and values to incubate. You need to make time to let your mind wander and truly internalize your purpose.

To love, also means to let go. For if we constantly keep others under our shade, that could also lead to stunting their growth. People enter and leave our lives, like the leaves flowing down a stream. Nothing to be judgmental about, it’s part of nature’s flow.

Here are few quotes about love from a book I’ve recently read called ‘The Prophet’ by Kahlil Gibran.

“Even as love ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.”

“Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed. For love is sufficient unto love.”

Considering the shortness of our life span, the chaos of this world, and the lack of our true empathy; we should all strive to love more. Start from within, learn to love yourself more, form a healthy relationship with yourself. Then watch your relationships start to flourish.

For when you’ve sufficiently filled your cup, you can receive and give without worrying about that cup ever emptying out.

The grass is always greener on the other side, but if you look closely enough, your grass is just as green as it’s meant to be. Focus on what you have; be grateful, be content, be adaptable. As with the changing of the seasons, our leaves may have to fall to allow the tree to prosper; only for them to re-grow in due time. Everything is cyclic, so are we.

We were crafted from this earth & to it we shall return.

“Those with a giving mindset take some comfort knowing that even though they didn’t get exactly what they wanted, they helped someone else get exactly what they wanted.“

[All pics were taken on adventure missions]

Thinking out loud ~ 2

Appreciation. Nature. Stillness. Presence.

Something that I find incredibly valuable, is noticing how unique the sky looks; Every. Single. Day. Just take a moment every morning to notice the patterns and formations taken by the clouds. It’ll never be the same.

I think being present amplifies your ability to learn. When we’re fully engaged in a single activity and give it our undivided attention, we’ll notice and take into account the most minute of details. This allows us to build on our muscle memory a lot quicker.

So how do we stay present? My first suggestion would be to acknowledge what a chatter box our ‘monkey mind’ is. We’re constantly evaluating ourselves and other people, which pulls us out of the now. By sifting through all these different perspectives in our minds, it leads to distraction. Do you want to know what works as jet fuel for distraction?

Social media.

This might be obvious and I’m certain there’ll be varying opinions on this. But you can’t deny the fact that, spending excessive amount of time on platforms that have infinite scroll feeds, will damage your concentration and capacity to learn rapidly. There’s no learning without remembering. Remembering also requires us to pay proper attention, for efficient storage of memories.

Your mind is one of your most valuable assets. There’s definitely a reason why there are systems in place, trying hard to take control over it. The more time you spend unconsciously scrolling through posts or binge-watching, the more you’re allowing others to influence your mindset.

All I’m saying is, make sure you use social media consciously. You can get trapped very swiftly. Moving onto something that positively affects your mind.

Sunsets. Trees. Butterflies.

I talk about plants and my love for trees a lot to my friends, because I feel like I gain wisdom when walking through forests. Because of their resilience and ability to adapt, it’s inspiring to be around that kind of energy. Following your nature and doing what’s required of you each and everyday. No randomness, no distraction. Everything in moderation.

Sunsets bring joy to my soul. There’s no other way to describe it. Sitting in sea point watching the waves crash over the rocks, with the pastel colours of the departing sun across the horizon. I try and learn from those experiences too. No matter what happens, the sun still sets and rises at the same place. It shows up. It follows its nature.

The waves of the ocean? Exactly the same thing. Resilience, consistency, perseverance. It brings serenity and calmness to the mind and body too. I have a hypothesis as to why. When we’re observing nature, the energy is pure and cyclic. The world follows a certain path, we just need to understand the inevitable temporariness of it all.

That leaves us with mindfulness and gratitude. What better way to live, than in the moment with utmost contentment?

Just wanted this to be another quick reminder, on how valuable it is to protect your mind & values. Take in deeper breaths, open your eyes a little wider and always remember to smile a lot brighter. Notice the small details and be grateful to have yet another day.

[Took all these pics on different nature-appreciation missions :)]

Thinking out loud ~1

So I’ll take a different kind of approach here. Not any sort of book review, rather just a post where I’ll blab out some thoughts. “Writing is closer to thinking than speaking”. That’s a quote ingrained on one of my journals. Quite true I’d say, things are much clearer when you get to write it out.

If you think about it, every time you write something, you’re just narrating a story of some sort. When I read back over previous journal entries, it made me realize how much of a time-machine it is. The story is always remembered in some vivid way.

Speaking of memory, whenever we think of past experiences, the version of the story slightly alters. That’s purely because, the less you think about a certain experience or event, the less likely it is to stay in your mind. Kind of like an old trail, if it isn’t used enough, it’ll get covered up. Just realizing how easy it is for us to re-wire our own neurons. However, certain experiences do trigger a longer-lasting memory, especially if they’re unpleasant. We could go on for quite a while about this, but let’s move on.

Getting back to narrating a story. I recently joined something called the Student Leadership Program at UCT, which is essentially a weekly course on becoming a better leader in your community. The first session I attended was about thinking through your own story (and leadership). A few of my peers from the program went up to speak about their story, which I found incredibly inspiring and motivational.

We all have a story, whatever that means to us. What I realized while I was trying to articulate my own story and listening to others, was how important it is to have some sort of self-awareness.

Being self-aware enables us to see the patterns within our self, that may or may not be serving us. Identifying with our own journey is something vital, because we need to have some sort of driving force. If we don’t know where we’re going, we’re never going to reach the destination.

I believe that if we can start asking ourselves the right questions, it’ll automatically allow us to reflect on what matters most to us. Let me just jot down a few:

• Who am I?
• What are my key values?
• What is my purpose?
• Where am I going in this current direction?
• What am I trying to achieve?
• What do I believe in?
• What is the impact I want to have on the world?
• How can I be of service to others?
• How do I want to be remembered?
• Why do I care about certain people?
• Am I surrounding myself with people who encourage and motivate me?
• What is the greatest ideal of myself that I can be today?
• Why am I here?
• How can I learn from this?
• How can I do this better?

Some of these questions might be a little foreign or even ‘too deep’, but they’re critical to having an idea of our own story. When we spend time thinking about these things, we’ll start getting answers we didn’t even realize we needed. This will be probably be through the change of habits and behaviours; unconsciously.

These are also questions that aren’t static, they’re dynamic and continuously evolving. We’ll never have the same answer to those questions everyday, because our story changes each and everyday.

The more experiences we have, the more we’re exposed to, the more interactions we engage in, the more we’ll inevitably change. Don’t forget that we’re just a bunch of neurons firing different pathways. Those pathways are re-constructed with every single thought!

“Reasons reap benefits.”

I didn’t intend on making this a long post, just wanted it to be something quick and meaningful. I hope I’ve managed to offer you a different perspective.

Ask yourself the right questions, and the answers will become clearer and clearer. When we have a better sense of where we’re going, we’ll find more effective ways to get there. So think about your story more often, and allow yourself to be. We’re all here momentarily, so let’s make it legendary.